Steve Martin credited as playing...
Orin Scrivello D.D.S.
- Orin: Look Seymour, this could happen to you. Unless I take immediate action.
- Seymour: [helpless in dentist chair] What's that?
- Orin: [enthusiastically] A drill.
- Seymour: It's rusty!
- Orin: It's an antique. They don't make 'em like this any more. Sturdy. Heavy. Dull!
- Orin: I'm gonna want some gas fer this.
- Seymour: Oh, thank God. I thought you weren't gonna use any.
- Orin: Oh, the gas isn't for you Seymour, it's for me. You see, I wanna really enjoy this.
- [Seymour points a gun at him]
- Orin: [while wearing a gas mask, sees it] Huh? What the hell's that? A gun?
- [laughs out of control]
- Orin: [sarcastically while laughing still] Kid's got a goddamn revolver Oh, Jesus! I'm in trouble now, huh?
- [Orin laughs still as Seymour goes nervous still pointing the gun at him]
- Orin: Oh, wait till I turn this gas off.
- [takes the cap off by accident]
- Orin: Uh-oh! Oh, give me a hand, would you? No, I guess you wouldn't, would you?
- [laughs again but coughs as he tries to take the mask off]
- Orin: You see, Seymour, I could asphyx...
- [coughs out of control]
- Orin: I could asphyx...
- [continues laughing and coughing until he collapses on the floor]
- Orin: [stops laughing] What'd I ever do to you?
- Seymour: [lowers the gun] Nothing. It's what you did to her.
- Orin: Her who?
- [Seymour does not answer]
- Orin: [finally gets it] Oh... her...
- [Orin then dies from too much nitrous oxide as Seymour goes puzzled]
- [Orin Scrivello, the sadistic dentist]
- Orin: [singing] I thrill when I drill a bicuspid / It's swell though they tell me I'm mal-ad-just-ed.
- Orin: Stupid woman! Christ, what a friggin' scatterbrain!
- Audrey: I'm sorry, doctor! I'm sorry, doctor!
- Orin: Falls off the motorcycle!
- Audrey: I'm clumsy, doctor! I'm clumsy, doctor!
- Orin: [kicks down the doors] Messes my hair! Get the door open, you little slut!
- Audrey: I'm trying, doctor! I'm trying, doctor!
- Orin: Get the Vitalis! Quick, the Vitalis!
- Audrey: [feeling threatened] I'm out of it!
- Orin: [grabs her] What!
- [Orin slaps her harshly making her cry]
- Orin: [singing] When I was younger, just a bad little kid/My mama noticed funny things I did/Like shooting puppies with a BB gun/I'd poison guppies, and when I was done/I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head/That's when my mama said...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: What did she say?
- Orin: She said, "My boy, I think someday/You'll find a way/To make your natural tendencies pay/You'll be a dentist!/You have a talent for causing things pain/Son, be a dentist/People will pay you to be inhumane/Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood/And teaching would suit you sill less/Son, be a dentist/You'll be a success!"