Tichina Arnold credited as playing...
Crystal
- [Seymour recounts how he found Audrey II]
- Seymour: You remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: [singing] Da-doo!
- Seymour: I was walkin' in the wholesale flower district that day...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Shoop da-doo.
- Seymour: And I passed by this place, where this old Chinese man...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Chang, da-doo.
- Seymour: He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Snip, da-doo.
- Seymour: 'Cause he knows, you see, that strange plants are my hobby.
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Da da da da da da-doo.
- Seymour: He didn't have anything unusual there that day.
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Nope, da-doo.
- Seymour: So, I was just about to, you know, walk on by...
- Doo-Wop Street Singer: Good for you.
- Doo-Wop Street Singer, Doo-Wop Street Singer, Doo-Wop Street Singer, Doo-Wop Street Singer: [scatting]
- Seymour: When suddenly, and without warning, there was this...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: ...total eclipse of the sun!
- Seymour: It got very dark, and there was this strange humming sound, like something from another world.
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Da-doo!
- Seymour: And when the light came back, this weird plant was just sitting there...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Whoop, see-doo.
- Seymour: Just, you know, stuck in, among the zinnias.
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Audrey II!
- Seymour: I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before, but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways, for a dollar ninety-five.
- Mr. Mushnik: Hey, urchins!
- [bangs on window]
- Mr. Mushnik: Shoo, get outta here!/ No loitering!
- Ronette: Maan, I wasn't loitering/ Were you Crystal?
- Crystal: Not me Ronette, were you Chiffon?
- Mr. Mushnik: You kids should be in school!
- Chiffon: Yeah, but were on a split shift.
- Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till the tenth grade, then we split!
- Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?
- Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row/ Ain't no such thing!
- Orin: [singing] When I was younger, just a bad little kid/My mama noticed funny things I did/Like shooting puppies with a BB gun/I'd poison guppies, and when I was done/I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head/That's when my mama said...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: What did she say?
- Orin: She said, "My boy, I think someday/You'll find a way/To make your natural tendencies pay/You'll be a dentist!/You have a talent for causing things pain/Son, be a dentist/People will pay you to be inhumane/Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood/And teaching would suit you sill less/Son, be a dentist/You'll be a success!"
- Mr. Mushnik: Move, move! Move! Stay away!
- [gestures them away from inside his window]
- Mr. Mushnik: No loitering!
- Ronette: Man, I wasn't loitering! Were you, Crystal?
- Crystal: Not me, Ronette! Were you, Chiffon?
- Mr. Mushnik: You oughta be in school!
- Chiffon: Yeah, well, we're on a split shift.
- Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till fifth grade, then we split!
- Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?
- Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row, ain't no such thing!
- Crystal: [singing] Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed/Similar events in cities across America/Events which bore a striking resemblance/To the ones you have just seen/Began occurring./Ooh, ooo-ooh.
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: [singing] Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed/Unsuspecting jerks from Maine to California/Made the acquaintance of a new breed of flytrap/And got sweet-talked into feeding it blood./Thus the plants worked their terrible will/Finding jerks who would feed them their fill/And the plants proceeded to grow, and grow/And began what they came here to do/Which was essentially to/Eat Cleveland/And Des Moines/And Peoria/And New York/And where you live!
- 'Downtown' Old Woman: [singing] Alarm goes off at seven/And you start uptown/You put in your eight hours/For the powers/That have always been.
- Ronette: Sing it, child.
- 'Downtown' Old Woman: 'Til it's 5 PM...
- 'Downtown' Bum #1: Then you go...
- 'Downtown' Old Woman, Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: [singing] Downtown/Where the folks are broke/You go downtown/Where your life's a joke/You go downtown/Where the hop-heads flop in the snow.
- 'Downtown' Old Woman: Home to Skid Row.