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Daniel Day-Lewis and Gordon Warnecke in My Beautiful Laundrette (1985)

Saeed Jaffrey: Nasser

My Beautiful Laundrette

Saeed Jaffrey credited as playing...

Nasser

Photos21

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Quotes24

  • Nasser: I thought you two were getting married.
  • Omar: Yes, any day now.
  • Tania: I'd rather drink my own urine.
  • Omar: I hear it can be quite tasty with a slice of lemon.
  • Nasser: Yes... But first we must marry Omar off.
  • [Cut to Omar and Johnny making love in the back room]
  • Nasser: [to Omar] In this damn country, which we hate and love, you can get anything you want. It's all spread out and available. That's why I believe in England. Only you need to know how to squeeze the tits of the system.
  • Johnny: Doesn't look too good, does it? Pakis doing this kind of thing.
  • Nasser: Why not?
  • Johnny: What would your enemies have to say about this, eh? Ain't exactly integration, is it?
  • Nasser: I'm a professional businessman, not a professional Pakistani. And there is no question of race in the new enterprise culture.
  • Papa: This damn country has done us in. That's why I'm like this. We should be there. Home.
  • Nasser: But that country's been sodomised by religion. It's beginning to interfere with the making of money. Compared with everywhere... it's a little heaven, here.
  • Nasser: [Nasser bursts into the room where Johnny and Omar made love just moments before] What the hell are you doing? Sunbathing?
  • Omar: Asleep, Uncle. We were shagged out.
  • Nasser: Where are those two buggers?
  • Nasser: [to Omar] Bring Tania over here. Marry her. Well, what's wrong with her? When I say marry her, you damn well do it. Be nice to her, pressure off my fucking head. Your penis works doesn't it? Get going!
  • Nasser: My blue brother was also a famous journalist in Bombay. And a great drinker. He was to the bottle what Louis Armstrong is to the trumpet.
  • Salim: But you are to the bookies what Mother Teresa is to the children.
  • Nasser: [whilst having sex with his lover] Christ, you move like a liner.
  • Nasser: [to Omar] Nothing but a toilet and a youth club. A constant boil on my bum.
  • Nasser: [to Omar] Okay, I charge you basic rent. The key you keep.
  • Nasser: What are you doing, boy?
  • Omar: It will be going into profit any day now. Partly because I hired a bloke of astounding competence and strength of body and mind.
  • Omar: What are you going to do with me?
  • Nasser: What am I going to do with you? Turn you into something damn good.
  • Nasser: [to Omar] On the other hand a little water on the brain might clear your thoughts.
  • Nasser: What bloke?
  • Omar: He's called Johnny.
  • Nasser: I can't go back. Religion is sodomizing the country. It's getting in the way of making money.
  • Nasser: [Rachel on top] Ahh! What do you think I am, your trampoline?
  • Rachel: Oh, yes, yes, yes... a trampoline.
  • Nasser: Speak my language, damn it.
  • Rachel: I'll do nothing else, Nasser. Do you think we'll ever part?
  • Nasser: Not at the moment!
  • Rachel: I'm serious!
  • Nasser: Ahh... Just keep moving. Oh! Just there! Oh, I love you. Oh, darling. Christ! You move like a niner.
  • Nasser: So, your papa got thrown out of that clerk's job I fixed him with? Pissed, was he?
  • Nasser: I presume my brother, the boy's Papa, was out screwing some barmaid, somewhere. So, when these tappings went on, I got out of bed, went to the balcony and opened the door. And there was my brother, he was standing outside with some woman - and they were completely without clothes. Blue with cold, like two bars of soap. This I refer to as my brother's blue period.

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