Nightmare Weekend

WTF?!?! I mean, seriously, what the fµ@k?! Who on earth concocted this script and went out and made this film? They must have had more than a couple of screws loose. So, we have a mansion in which a professor is working on some magical super-computer that can produce evil silver pinballs which can cause behavioral modifications on test subjects - a rottweiler in this case - but when amped up to a level of I-don't-know-what they can turn humans into demented & deformed, possessed beings as well as just plain kill them (like have them explode, for instance). That's about the best I can do in an attempt to describe the premise of this wretched film. So, the professor's evil mistress comes up with a plan to do some more testing - naturally, on humans this time - and invites three good-looking bimbos to the mansion. Some horny dudes are along for the ride as well, eventually. So, evil mistress goes nuts with the machine, producing one magical pinball after another to possess the bimbos & dudes. There's tons of nudity & sex and some gore thrown in for good measurement. There's an inexplicable sequence - many, in fact - where the daughter of the professor is playing a racing game on her computer that magically possesses a real car in the real world. There's even a possessed tooth brush. And this thing stars Dale Midkiff in an early role. And with all this, you haven't seen the half of it yet. Inept & illogical on all levels, I tell you. Everyone involved with this production must have thought the same thing, like pretty much "What the hell, let's just make this insane rubbish as we go along". Pinballs, man, possessed pinballs! Just when you thought you've seen it all...

Illogical, sloppy presentation will surely have bad movie fans doing a tap-dance of giddy approval. The story at hand concerns a scientist and his super-bitch of a scheming colleague experimenting with computer-generated silver balls that turn subjects into either mild-mannered passive types or mutant killer morons(depending on the level of dosage). Not surprisingly, these tests get out of hand during the progress of some nefarious wheelings-and-dealings, and a group of unsuspecting female visitors to the scientist's country estate find themselves in mortal danger.

Low-ball production looks to have been funded with rolled pennies, and evidence hinting at professional guidance in any aspect of its forging is entirely lacking. Frequently hilarious and generally entertaining for all the wrong reasons, NIGHTMARE WEEKEND is recommended to fans of ultraweird flicks from the wrong side of the tracks.

4/10

Right! Okay. Well, ... um... To be honest, I have no idea where to begin with this one.

Maybe I'll start with some positive notes! "Nightmare Weekend" contains several adorably gooey, cheap-looking, and trashy gore effects that put a smile on my face. It also features lots of pointless soft-core sex and gratuitous nudity provided by naturally beautiful 80s girls, of which one of them later even became a CNN news anchor! That's right, the film stars Andrea Thompson and she has a steaming sex sequence that I bet she doesn't like to be reminded of nowadays. Her bio says she debuted in a small role in "Wall Street". Ha, not!

The rest of "Nightmare Weekend" is utterly insane and unfathomable nonsense! Trying to summarize the crazy plot makes me want to scratch my head, but I'll try anyways. On the countryside lives a genius scientist who developed a method to alter the aggressive behavior of animals. For example, by forcing it to swallow a silver pinball (don't ask...) a vicious Doberman turns into a cute and gentle puppy! Okay, so Dr. Brake is a brilliant scientist, but then again, he also hooked up a super-computer to an irritatingly babbling green woolen socket-puppet named George, and his teenage daughter uses it to play Turbo! The good Dr. Has an evil female assistant, and she wants to test the effect of the behavioral pinballs on humans, so she lures three beautiful but empty-headed girls to the mansion. The girls sneak horny blokes from the nearby bar into the house, and thus the evil assistant has even more guinea pigs. Meanwhile, in the dullest and most redundant sub plot in the history of cinema, the scientist's daughter falls deeply in love with the evil assistant's toy boy, and she seeks romantic advice from the green-haired puppet.

It's mind-boggling when you read it on paper, and I assure you it's even more mind-boggling when you see it on the screen. You have not experienced 80s amateur-madness until you see a sock-puppet yell "Danger! Danger!" or watch how a timid young housemaid turns into a sphere-possessed killing machine. And what is up with that end shot? I'm telling you "Nightmare Weekend" is either totally awful or, like a friend of mine righteously stated, so brilliant that ordinary mortal souls like us simply fail to comprehend it.

There are no words to explain how bad NIGHTMARE WEEKEND is. It simply defies description. Something about a computer that can change personal objects into silver balls that enter the victims' mouth, which kills them or turns them into zombies. The whole thing is so wonky that it's stunning. There's also a girl with personal computer in her room and the computer talks via a hand puppet!!!!!!!! I'm not making this stuff up. The computer also controls things like cars, even though there's nothing linking the computer with the vehicle.

The "film" is total trash. Surreal bad trash. Spectacularly, one-of-a-kind bad trash. There's a lot of sex scenes thrown here and there, which aren't very hot or erotic. There's even one scene where a woman seemingly makes love or wants to French kiss a tarantula, which had me rolling on the floor.

Definitely one of the worst movies ever made. Up there with the equally wretched direct-to-home video BOARDINGHOUSE, or BOOGEYMAN II (both NIGHTMARE WEEKEND and BOOGEYMAN II have scenes with a killer toothbrush!). At least it's fun to watch it and try to make sense of whatever is going on.

This could be a candidate for one of the worst movies I have ever seen. There it was for sale in the previously viewed section of my local video store. "Hey, I can own this for only $3.99!" For the same price I can buy my favourite brand of dental floss, and likely derive more pleasure from flossing my teeth than watching this mess. This movie was not scary at all, and not one of those "so bad it's good" type either. It was cheap, dull, and I apologize to the others who watched it with me. I am sorry for taking away a few hours of your life that you will never get back.

STAY AWAY FROM THIS DREADFUL GARBAGE!!!