Solarbabies

After about 20 years of having little more than vague memories of this movie rollerskating about in my head, I finally broke down and re-watched Solarbabies.

All I can say is, well, bless them for trying. It really isn't a BAD movie... it does manage to be entertaining even though it occasionally drags. The only problem is that it borrows a lot from other movies and never seems to decide on a style of its own.

Overall I didn't feel as drawn in to the story as I'd hoped, but despite the somewhat vague plot and generic characters, it was still good fun. And if nothing else, it teaches us that all we really need to set things right in the world are friendship and roller skating. And maybe a magic ball from outer space.

This film is a riot. It's badness is epic. It is hard to know where to begin in terms of describing the experience of Solarbabies, but one could start by saying that a central episode involves a chase scene of children dramatically escaping from a futuristic special-forces police force by ROLLER SKATING through the DESERT. I am not making this up.

The completely random plot and incredulously goofy bonding/friendship scenes between the child-prisoners and their glowing-ball alien friend could only have been the product of coked-out brainstorming sessions of Hollywood types in the 80s.

Are children lovable prisoners of a Nazi-Fetish, post-apocalyptic corporation/government agency that inexplicably decides to profit by running a child-labor camp in the desert? Check. Are the children also forced to play an arena sport involving roller skates? Check. Does a glowing alien ball appear randomly and befriend the children, with no apparent connection to anything else in the film? Check. Do the children breakdance with the glowing alien ball-friend? Check. Does the glowing alien ball require the children to escape the prison and go on a quest? Yep. Do the children "escape" simply by roller-skating away from the "prison" (through a desert)? Um, yes. Does the glowing alien ball-friend require the children to join hands in a ritualized new-age circle of friendship/love in order to achieve its full glowing alien ball powers? You betcha.

If this movie were any better, I would give it one star. But it charges so far past the normal constraints of the badness boundaries that it comes out on the other side and emerges as something that is actually pretty entertaining and fairly compelling. The bar starts out low, but the filmmakers just keep on lowering it, going way past the zero point, and actually discovering new ways to make a bad movie worse. It is like art in reverse.

I only write reviews of movies with low rating, which actually are not that bad. Give them a chance!

If you like apocalypse / post-apocalypse and you are aware that this is a teenage movie, I don't know why you wouldn't like it! It is really cool, story is good, they made an effort to create post-apocalyptic world and everything else works fine. Kids are not acting well, that I must admit, but they are kids... and pretty much all other 80s teenage movies have the same problem, but that does not mean Solarbabies should have 4.8 ( as in this moment ). It is a solid movie, and if you like apocalypse I am sure that you will like this one, too.

6/10

I have seen Solarbabies (aka Solar Warriors) many times, and I like it. I first saw it on video when I was seven or eight. Looking at it now, (I own a copy) the plot is a little corny, but when you consider that was pretty normal of movies made in the mid-80's, it's hard to hold that against this one.

For some reason, the "skateball" game that is popular with characters in the movie almost seems like a knock-off of Rollerball, but that's okay.

If nothing else, it had a terrific cast...Richard Jordan, Jami Gertz, Jason Patric, and Lukas Haas, among others. I'm not sure the movie would have been very good without them.

I would rate this movie 3 out of 5 on story and 4 out of 5 on casting. So about 3.5 stars...

Silly nonsense about a post-apocalyptic future where it doesn't rain and the kids are raised in a prison. There they play a game that's kind of a kids' version of Rollerball and wait to grow up and become guards or something for the corporation running the world. They find a glowing alien ball called Bohdai and uninteresting stuff happens. Laughable to the extreme, with ugly-looking '80s costumes and an odd fascination with rollerskating. It's unintentionally funny at times, and I totally give it points for that, but ultimately it's just embarrassing for all involved. See it for Jami Gertz, because you should see anything with Jami Gertz.