Sorority House Massacre

Listen, I've suffered through a lot of bad movies in my day, but the exciting thing about them is that, sometimes, they're so awful they almost turn into bizarre comedies full of weird line readings, insane dialogue, completely inhuman responses to big twists, etc. For me, the worst thing a film can do is be boring or mundane without a single inspired moment and, honestly, most bad films are usually far from boring.

This brings me to Sorority House Massacre - a film so dull, passionless, and lacking in anything remotely resembling excitement that I'm surprised I remembered it enough to give this review.

It manages to cram the plots of Halloween and A Nightmare on Elm Street into one, but it does absolutely nothing of note. Usually, in even the worst of slasher films, there's a character or death scene or two worth remembering, but there's absolutely nothing to latch onto here. It's all just going through the motions.

If you value your time, skip it.

Mad killer escapes from an insane asylum and goes after his sister (does this remind you of anything?), with whom he shares an unexplained telepathic link. This film is not too bad of its type, but it's just too derivative of both "Halloween" and "Nightmare on Elm Street" (there are many ominous dream sequences). The main heroine is fairly engaging, but the rest of the characters are almost indistinguishable from one another (and the men are badly acted, too). (**)

Sorority House Massacre could be forgiven for shamelessly aping other horror films such as Halloween (and it's first sequel) and The Eyes of Laura Mars, but it has the audacity to bring absolutely nothing original to the plate at all which makes the whole film feel like watching paint dry.

In the film, we have a young sorority girl plagued with visions of her insane brother who killed her family and, now, wants to come after her and her sorority friends after breaking out of an asylum. Clearly, not the most original plot in the world, but if Sorority House Massacre had at least attempted to bring in some fresh characterizations, interesting dialogue, or maybe an inspired sequence of suspense or two, it wouldn't have felt so stale.

"Sorority House Massacre" (1986) combines the plot of "Halloween" (psycho killer escapes asylum and goes after his little sister) with the sorority house setting of "The House on Sorority Row" (1983) and "Black Christmas" (1974). But the production values are subpar by comparison, sparking some to call it the worst 80's slasher film.

It's true that the movie starts shaky with filmmaking akin to an old soap opera, but it builds some suspense in the second half. And there are a few gems, like when Beth's sorta-date (the short, dark-haired guy) says, "I just like being with you." This shows that the writer actually put in some effort despite the Grade B (or Grade C) production values. The fact that there's no camp and everything plays out deadly seriously is a plus.

The film is short and sweet at 1 hour, 14 minutes; it was shot in Los Angeles.

GRADE: C

An authentic whack job (John C. Russell) wants out of the mental asylum he is in. Once he escapes he goes to a sorority house where he seems to have a certain connection to a college girl named Beth (Angela O'Neill).

In the end this movie is better than it should have really been. Does have some good imagery during the dream sequences, but takes too much from A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and way too much from HALLOWEEN. I thought a big thing that would have worked for the movie was adding some back story to the characters. We do get Beth's, but none of the other characters seem to have much of a back story. None of the male college students have any. Because of this the only characters I really cared about were Beth and John (Vinnie Bilancio). John just seemed to be a nice guy, but man I wanted to get deeper into his character than what I got. You may say that's what you get for watching a slasher. Maybe, but I am not going to lower my bar just because I am watching a slasher flick. They too can have well-developed characters. I also think by doing this it may have extended the running time a little as it comes in at only 74 minutes.

Anyways, on a side note they end up watching SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE, which I do recommend watching and writer/director Carol Frank worked as assistant to the director in that film. As well when some of the college girls decide to go through Cindy's clothes who has gone away for the weekend you are welcomed to Shoulder Pad City. Ahhh the 80s.