Star Crystal

Set in 2032, as missions from Earth are being sent to explore Mars. After two groups of astronauts are mysteriously killed following the discovery of strange artifacts on the martian surface, the crew of the SC-37 go in to try and find out what happened. They soon learn what became of their predecessors when a bloodthirsty space monster begins lunching on members of the crew. Will any of them make it back to Earth alive? Pretty poor "alien" rip-off has lots of slime and gore, useless acting, poor editing in the "attack" scenes, and a horrible "Psycho" rip-off score (Man, that was so obnoxious!). Not worth your time.

Trying to explain this thing would probably take me longer than what it took the genius behind its script to write it, so I'll just say you have to watch it to believe it. Probably the most expensive thing they spent their self-evident tiny budget was to buy the model toy of the Millenium Falcon that they shamelessly show in various scenes of the movie (I'm not lying, they really do!). What begins as an Alien rip-off ends up becoming in some sort of E. T. parody. As I said, all too weird and bad. Very bad. I recommend its viewing, but only if you manage to get a copy for free.

My final rating: 3 Stars (1 star for the awesome cover, 1 star for some cool effects. The extra Star because of the Millenium Falcon). Zero Crystals.

There's very little good to say about this turkey. A generally laughable piece of dreck, this film goes from bad to worse with one of the most anticlimactic endings I've ever seen. It was certainly unexpected, but that doesn't mean it was good. While I am a big fan of cheesy horror and sci-fi, I really can't recommend this unless you just have to see every B-movie that's ever been made. Don't waste your time with this boring loser.

Ah, the 80's...They brought us such wonders as Power Ballads and the Rubix cube. However, one thing from the 80's didn't survive the changes between decades, and that was SCi-fi horror (aliens not included).

Star Crystal seemed to start as a typical sci-fi, but quickly provided an initial plot twist. Not to say the story was confusing, because it was blatently obvious. In fact, the thin plot allowed you to take wagers on who'd get hacked next. The bets were up on the second placer, but the house appeared to win.

The cast of this movie was like a convention of people trying (and failing) to get into movies. Not that the poorly written dialog could ever enable them to lift off the pad.

While B-movie fans (such as myself) will enjoy the exceptionally bloody and gooey deaths, and the bucketfuls of slime everywhere, the movie does lack any kind of female scream (which is a necessity in B-movies).

The movie was a half decent horror flick until the morals took a severe 180 that nearly broke my neck. The change in the tide was the nail in the coffin that ruined something that was nearly a waste of time to begin with.

Being a connoseur of B-movies, I recommend this for B-movie-athons. (an excellent performance by someone named "The Gling")

You get a warning pretty early on into this film that it has the budget that could probably buy you a bag of crisps and maybe a Coke at a cheap convenience store, and you don't even have to get past the credits.

The actors are literally no-names, none of them having starred in anything before. The director and editor both pulled multiple duties by writing, directing, editing, producing, and working on the SFX.

The plot is standard "we found a strange evil thing somewhere".

None of this is necessarily a bad thing. Alien used the same plot to explore very dark themes. John Carpenter made the brilliant Dark Star with almost no money.

Unfortunately, the difference is that those films were made by people with talent. Star Crystal, sadly, isn't.

We have tons of the bad movie staples, from shots holding too long on certain things and not enough on others, to abysmal acting. The opening scenes alone have about five establishing shots of the same darn spaceship. I get it guys, we're on the same ship, since no one moved anywhere, I don't see why you have to keep telling me about it.

I will say that some of the special effects are decent (for the time), but this would have worked better as a short film to generate a budget for something better. The alien has a cool icky feeling to it, all creepy flesh and slime.

It's mildly diverting for the occasional funny badness on display and ridiculously over-the-top school play acting.

Watch it if you can get it free.