The Zero Boys

The Zero Boys are the best "Weekend Warriors" on the paintball ranch. With feisty newcomer Jamie (Kelli Maroney) in tow, the gang heads out on a classic aimless teen road trip, and wind up at an apparently deserted country house where they proceed to do the things horror teens do: have sex, play games, argue, and split up to maximise their vulnerability.

Of course, they are not alone. The yokel hicks are on the loose with knives, and they soon lure the group into the woods – and into a series of traps. The Zero Boys (and Girls) must use their dubious survival skills, and their stash of real guns, to fight back and make it through the night.

Although Nico Mastorakis is an uber-trash auteur on the level of Albert Pyun, the first scene is promising: playful in the same way that Vamp toyed with our perceptions in its opening. And the idea of the kids taking the front foot, rather than being out-and-out victims, is an intriguing setup. But it's a swift descent into mediocrity and cliché.

"Eat your heart out, Sly," one gun-toting character utters. The film has no problem referencing its contemporaries, including Friday the 13th and The Twilight Zone. It's kinda meta. Ostensibly The Zero Boys is a blend of two classic 80s genres: the teen slasher and the uzi action movie. If only it delivered on the scares or the thrills. In its found footage torture vignettes and its Hunger Games survive-'em-up finale it even prefigures certain modern genres, but in practice we have the usual idiot-plotting schlock, with characters inexplicably going off and doing their own thing to suit audience expectations rather than logic.

Kelli Maroney is perhaps most contemporaneously famous for Night of the Comet, another (much better) mid-80s genre mashup. She's different here: less ditzy and more resourceful, and usually the smartest person in the room. She's more than a match for our hero, Steve, played by Daniel Hirsch with the soft-spoken intensity of a young Bruce Dern but without the charisma.

The positives: occasionally decent quickfire dialogue; some good 'n' gaudy lighting; the pacing is bang on; and Hans Zimmer's Gothic- synth score is fantastic. What it lacks is the ghoulish humour and gore to match something like Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre 2 or Sam Raimi's Evil Dead series. Poor editing and mediocre makeup undermine the best scares (don't open that freezer cabinet!). Throw in some irrelevant slow motion and a frankly meaningless final shot and we're left with a distinctly ordinary entry in the 80s slasher canon.

The Zero Boys is a good, old fashioned 80's action/horror/comedy. It's also rare. I just found this one on DVD (if you believe that) and it's marketed as an action movie; the trailer, the cover art, everything. It does start out that way. The Zero Boys, Steve, Larry, and Rip, are the best at what they do: paintball wars. The movie starts with a great game of paintball. When the Zero Boys win, they take a vacation in the woods and stumble upon an abandoned cabin. That's when the horror starts. The action part is so good that I almost didn't want it to turn into a horror flick. It all works out though because the horror is just as good, and cheesy, as the action. It's actually turns into a decent slasher flick which creates an eerie atmosphere. The cheesy dialogue and the one liners are what really make the movie. Such phrases as "Jason old boy, are you in there?" and "Probably just a bunch of faggots living in the woods." make this one a classic. All through the movie I kept remarking about how much the lead killer looked like Martin Sheen. It turned out to be his brother, Joe Estevez. If you're looking for an entertaining mix of genres, catch The Zero Boys, if you can find it.

The plot is as tired as any in that a group of friends go off into the middle of nowhere to have some fun. Once there they happen upon an empty house and decide to impose on the hospitality of the erstwhile residents. Only the big problem is they are not alone mwah!

Now this starts off fairly lame as it is full of macho centric twaddle and the ladies have that big eighties hair and attitude etc. At times it looks just like a really bad MTV video of the time especially in the over long road sequence. However, as things get more interesting the group start to behave in a much more believable way and then the twists start coming and it is actually quite inventive – and that is where it pulls it back.

The acting is all OK with no one making a new space in their awards cabinet but they all manage to convince. If you want a no brainer then you could do a lot worse than this and the restored picture quality makes it look as good as new. If you want something high brow then steer well clear but for some big haired frights then this is worth a go.

A group of friends travel to a wilderness area to play a survival game. Soon they unexpectedly find themselves in a real-life survival situation.

The first thing movie fans will probably notice about this film is that the score comes from Hans Zimmer, who has since become legendary. The score is remarkable, and if this was truly Zimmer's work, it is among his most fun and moving scores. You will not hear another score like it. Although not widely know, Frank Darabont (who is now a huge director), got his start in the art department on this film. Marianne Maddalena, the right-hand woman to Wes Craven for most of his career, was also a production assistant for "Zero Boys".

Writer-director-producr Nico Mastorakis decided to cast largely unknown actors. Presumably, this was done for budget reasons. Despite this, he did land Kelli Maroney, who he now says was "never any trouble" and has nothing but high praise for her. Daniel Hirsch was carried over from "Sky High", but could hardly be considered a known actor, especially since no one saw "Sky High".

Among the main cast is Nicole Rio, who is a horror icon in her own little way. She does not have a long list of credits, but 1986 brought her both this film (her debut) and the better-known "Sorority House Massacre". Being that her father and brother were in show business, it is something of a mystery why she seems to have more or less dropped out before she ever got going.

The biggest name in the film (besides perhaps Joe Estevez) is Kelli Maroney, who is definitely a horror icon. She will forever be identified with "Night of the Comet". Had the 1980s horror boom lasted a few years longer, she probably would have gone from genre favorite to big screen success. Apparently she butted heads with the director on "Zero Boys", being more strong-willed than he was hoping for. He may have forgotten this.

Other reviewers have noted that the gruesome sequences anticipate the so-called torture porn horrors of "Hostel" and "Saw". And this is a fair assessment. The movie has an unusual scene of tone, starting out very light-hearted, but then getting quite dark. The 1980s slasher film often can be seen as dark comedy, but the torture scenes here are too gritty, too dirty to have any humor at all. This takes away from the enjoyment of the picture, but it does make you wonder if "Hostel" or "Saw" was in some way influenced by this grit?

Besides giving us a beautiful 2K restoration, Arrow Video has put more than a couple features on their 2016 blu-ray. We have audio commentary with star Kelli Maroney ("Night of the Comet"), as well as new interviews with Maroney, writer-director-producr Nico Mastorakis (very humorous), and actress Nicole Rio. And two music videos! Want to read more on the film? Check out the fully-illustrated collector's booklet featuring new writing by critic James Oliver.

***

Wrong Turn is definitely a ripoff the general idea in this movie, only that movie is a serious horror film and this one is more of the standard B- horror with a twist of humorous adventure. It's labeled a horror film, which by all comparable standards to 80s horror films it is, but you're not entirely sure where the movie is going in the first 15 minutes. The box art and opening sequence both set this up to be more of a light weight version of Deliverence mixed with some B- soldier heavy artillary jungle warfare. What you actually get is a paint ball battle in a deserted town, followed by a random weekend in the woods that goes awry. For the first 30 minutes, nothing particularly horrific happens, then the rest of the movie is a lot of running through the woods survival. It's blatantly obvious by both the cast and the box art that this film is total B- territory and I obviously only recommend it for fans of these films. I just wish that the energy from the opening sequence was carried through the entire film. There's some definite cult status here, but the second half of the film strays too far into cliché horror territory that you forget the initial premise from the opening. Unfortunately there is also NO ending to this film.

Aside from the short-comings, I have a lot of respect for Nico Mastorakis as a director, writer and producer. He's one of the rare few that doesn't conform to the BS that is Hollywood. I'm also glad that there are some great featurettes on his DVDs on the making of his movies including his commentary as well.