The Zero Boys

About six months ago I copied a bunch of movies I've been meaning to watch onto my laptop in hopes that while on a trip, or over my mom's doing laundry, I would find the time and effort to watch them. A few of them I have watched, but largely this group of 6 or 7 films has gone untouched. Today I finally got the will to watch a film called The Zero Boys.

I had download.. erhm, I mean rented it about 4 or 5 months ago after I re-watched the 80's Dawn of the Dead inspired slasher-flick: Chopping Mall. While browsing the IMDb, I noticed that cult actress and Night of the Comet alum Kelli Maroney was in a film described as an "action / slasher / horror" film. I had to see this.

After watching the film and while doing my dishes, I was trying to concoct a clever and hip metaphor for this film: "it's what a teen slasher film would be like if Polanski directed it." No, Polanski would make it more confusing. "It's like a Golan-Globus produced slasher film." Maybe, but a film produced by those great Greek gods of Chuck Norris would've put more than only one explosion in it, and surely there'd be boobies. As I continued these ridiculous metaphors in my head, the more I realized that as much as The Zero Boys failed as a film, it was strikingly entertaining.

The film opens during a "weekend warrior" game between two groups of college-aged kids. The clever director of this film, Nico Mastorakis, has cut this opening scene with such disguise -- it FEELS as though something quite real is going on here, but we soon realize it's just a game of paint ball (and a dull one at that). This is where we are introduced to our main character: Steve. Steve is a strong, leader type pretty boy with a patented 80s haircut. His two friends Rip and Larry are apparently the kings of paint ball, as they have just defeated some kid in a Nazi uniform.

The plot really thickens up when we learn that the Nazi kid has wagered his own girlfriend on his paint ball skills. Not only has Steve won $20, he has now earned the right to court the buxom, catty, blond Jamie (played by the aforementioned Kelli Marony).

Soon the group are somehow on a picnic in the woods, and sooner then you can say "Sam Raimi," they've found a creepy looking deserted cabin. For one reason or another, the group decides to stay here even though strange things continue to happen during their stay.

What follows is for the most part standard slasher fare. Lots of POV shots looking at the cabin from outside, lots of screaming. One thing that was completely out of the ordinary was the order in which characters were killed. As a standard: characters having sex in slasher films are usually offed during, or quickly after the act of coitus (or as Rip says: "coitus interuptus"). When watching this film, I was pleasantly surprised at the level of non-conformity when it came to typical slasher style.

The film doesn't quite deliver on it's interesting middle section. Even the subtle references to Argento's Suspiria can't quite save it. When it comes down to it, the best film to compare this to would have to be Wes Craven's The Hills Have Eyes. For one thing: the villains in that film are never really explained. They live in the desert, they inbreed, they eat humans. These things we can take for granted, we can understand this because of how these characters look and talk; they're complete freaks. In a slight contrast, we never really see too much of the villains in this film. Not until the end, and I was quite confused by the costume designer's choice. One of the killers in the film is wearing a sweater and polo shirt. And quite strangely, once we see his face, he looks, somewhat normal. It's not clear why the director never introduces or develops the villains, not that it was needed, but in light of their strange weapon choices and dressing styles, I would've been interested.

The Zero Boys isn't a typical 80's teen horror film, and for that it's a relatively fun, yet somewhat dull film. Recommended viewing with: Night of the Comet, The Hills Have Eyes, Friday the 13th Part III, Chopping Mall.

A group of friends travel to a wilderness area to play a survival game. Soon they unexpectedly find themselves in a real-life survival situation.

The first thing movie fans will probably notice about this film is that the score comes from Hans Zimmer, who has since become legendary. The score is remarkable, and if this was truly Zimmer's work, it is among his most fun and moving scores. You will not hear another score like it. Although not widely know, Frank Darabont (who is now a huge director), got his start in the art department on this film. Marianne Maddalena, the right-hand woman to Wes Craven for most of his career, was also a production assistant for "Zero Boys".

Writer-director-producr Nico Mastorakis decided to cast largely unknown actors. Presumably, this was done for budget reasons. Despite this, he did land Kelli Maroney, who he now says was "never any trouble" and has nothing but high praise for her. Daniel Hirsch was carried over from "Sky High", but could hardly be considered a known actor, especially since no one saw "Sky High".

Among the main cast is Nicole Rio, who is a horror icon in her own little way. She does not have a long list of credits, but 1986 brought her both this film (her debut) and the better-known "Sorority House Massacre". Being that her father and brother were in show business, it is something of a mystery why she seems to have more or less dropped out before she ever got going.

The biggest name in the film (besides perhaps Joe Estevez) is Kelli Maroney, who is definitely a horror icon. She will forever be identified with "Night of the Comet". Had the 1980s horror boom lasted a few years longer, she probably would have gone from genre favorite to big screen success. Apparently she butted heads with the director on "Zero Boys", being more strong-willed than he was hoping for. He may have forgotten this.

Other reviewers have noted that the gruesome sequences anticipate the so-called torture porn horrors of "Hostel" and "Saw". And this is a fair assessment. The movie has an unusual scene of tone, starting out very light-hearted, but then getting quite dark. The 1980s slasher film often can be seen as dark comedy, but the torture scenes here are too gritty, too dirty to have any humor at all. This takes away from the enjoyment of the picture, but it does make you wonder if "Hostel" or "Saw" was in some way influenced by this grit?

Besides giving us a beautiful 2K restoration, Arrow Video has put more than a couple features on their 2016 blu-ray. We have audio commentary with star Kelli Maroney ("Night of the Comet"), as well as new interviews with Maroney, writer-director-producr Nico Mastorakis (very humorous), and actress Nicole Rio. And two music videos! Want to read more on the film? Check out the fully-illustrated collector's booklet featuring new writing by critic James Oliver.

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Title refers to a team of three male survivalists who win a war games competition and celebrate the victory by vacationing at a secluded country home with their girlfriends. Their fun is disrupted when they find snuff videos, a head in the freezer, a torture chamber in the barn and that several killers are lurking around the premises with crossbows, knives and machetes.

All the horror clichés are accounted for including a car that won't start, a sudden rainstorm, lots of false alarms, heavy breathing POV killer shots, booby trapped woods, people wandering off by themselves even after finding dead bodies, etc. If there are any missing, it's not from lack of trying.

Pretty dull stuff, but some now well known people got their starts here including Production Co-Ordinator Marianne Maddalena (who worked on many of the later NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET movies) and Assistant Art Director Frank Darabont (Oscar-nominated writer/director of THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION and THE GREEN MILE). Some of the music is by future Oscar winning composer Hans Zimmer (THE LION KING).

The Zero Boys is definitely a strange one. While it looks like a Rambo rip off or some sort of survivalist action movie, it really has a structure and cast more in line with the slasher movies of that same area.

A bunch of paintball loving guys and their girlfriends head up to a secluded cabin in the woods (which they don't own). Soon, someone is killing them one by one due to their tresspassing.

There are shades of the torture film when they discover that these killers have been recording their victims' final moments on video and playing them to taunt their current victims. Also, scream queen Kelli Maroney (Chopping Mall, Night of the Comet) is always a welcome addition to any film's cast and the film clips along at a great, exciting pace. It's a shame this one is lesser known that some of its contemporaries.

The Zero Boys is a good, old fashioned 80's action/horror/comedy. It's also rare. I just found this one on DVD (if you believe that) and it's marketed as an action movie; the trailer, the cover art, everything. It does start out that way. The Zero Boys, Steve, Larry, and Rip, are the best at what they do: paintball wars. The movie starts with a great game of paintball. When the Zero Boys win, they take a vacation in the woods and stumble upon an abandoned cabin. That's when the horror starts. The action part is so good that I almost didn't want it to turn into a horror flick. It all works out though because the horror is just as good, and cheesy, as the action. It's actually turns into a decent slasher flick which creates an eerie atmosphere. The cheesy dialogue and the one liners are what really make the movie. Such phrases as "Jason old boy, are you in there?" and "Probably just a bunch of faggots living in the woods." make this one a classic. All through the movie I kept remarking about how much the lead killer looked like Martin Sheen. It turned out to be his brother, Joe Estevez. If you're looking for an entertaining mix of genres, catch The Zero Boys, if you can find it.