Miami Connection

This has to be one of the best bad movies ever made. My friend found the cover for this movie online and we just had to see it. Wow, nothing will prepare you for all the cheesy 80's awesomeness, the genuine confusion, and incredible quotes(Oh my God!). Why are the bad guys trying to kill these guys? I forgot half way through the movie, something about ninjas and cocaine I think. They're in a band, really? A ninja band!? Well technically it's Tae Kwon Do, but who cares. Those songs will stick with you the rest of your life, they're not half bad either, super catchy with ridiculous lyrics.

Y.K. Kim, God bless you. You are a stand up guy in real life, an ambassador for martial arts, an enthusiastic American immigrant, and have created something that encapsulates the absurdity that is the 1980's. This movie has to be seen by lovers of camp everywhere. No joke, it will change your life.

When I first saw the trailer for 'Miami Connection," my mind was literally blown. I knew the 1980s was a wasteland of Troma garbage and horrible B films, but this film had something more than your run of the mill awfulness. It was epic. It was beautiful. It was bad 80s pop music, complete with bad feel good lyrics you might see in some TV show, the kind of song a writer comes up with on the spot because that's what they think the "youth" music sounds like. Never mind the bad acting, editing, and overall quality of the film transfer--that was something I was expecting. What I wasn't expecting was the bad after school special side- plots, the rampant homo eroticism, the most bizarre and random gang of thugs ever assembled and the sheer 80s-ness of the film. What I really loved was the over acting by the extras in the film. They must have known that they would never get another chance to be in a film, so they hammed it up for all to see.

Now I will remind you, if you aren't into watching films that are bad enough to make Mystery Science Theater 3000, then you surely will not get the sheer awesomeness of this awful movie. If you like straight comedy or action films, then I suggest you stay away and save your money. As for the rest of us, enjoy.

(51%) A crazy, 80's to the limit, Warriors/Streets of fire/biker movie/Godfry Ho style mess, filled with awful writing and laughable performers from actors that really should never feature in front of camera with more than one line each. On a plus side some of the action sequences are quite good, and the direction does draw out some nice shots from time to time, plus it's very simple fun. Anyone with any affection for 80's cheese that can see past the quite major problems (acting/writing/editing/quite terrible rock music sequences) will likely enjoy at least some of what this has to offer, while others should stay away.

I took one look at the cover art and immediately knew what kind of film I was in for when I saw the ninjas riding motorcycles. With such a campy premise, it's impossible to take seriously.

Mark (Y. K. Kim), Tom, Jack, Jim, and John are five orphan college students (even though the first two guys look like they're in their early 40s) all make up the band Dragon Sound and manage to accidentally piss off a street gang with connections to a group of coke dealing biker ninjas led by Yashito and his lieutenant Jeff. Making matters worse, in some loose romantic sub-plot, John is dating Jeffs sister, Jane, who soon starts singing for the band. Luckily, Mark is a Tae Kwan Do instructor and taught the band well enough to fight ninjas with swords so they're ready to kick butt and take names.

As expected, the action scenes are ridiculously corny and over the top, yet still fun to watch. The Dragon Sound members all pull off some pretty sweet martial arts moves even though some were muddled by blurry slow-motion effects. Plus, the final battle against Yashita was a disappointing one-sided beatdown in Marks' favor.

The shooting locations looked decent, even though most of the movie was shot in Orlando instead of Miami and lighting was poor at times. But to me, what makes this a little better than any other dime a dozen budget 80s martial arts flick was the great music. Dragon Sound had some awesome and catchy songs like Friends, Tough Guy, and Against the Ninja. The whole soundtrack just screamed 80s, even though none of the band members are actually playing their instruments except for Tom's actor, Aangelo Janotti. Still, the soundtrack earned six stars instead of the typical five I'd give a film like this.

But naturally, all the acting is awful. The "actors" all sound totally apathetic as they speak their lines and look bored most of the time, probably well-aware of what they signed up for. John even mutters "Oh. Ninjas" when Yashitas goons come riding up to them like he was reacting to the weather or something, and the sub-plot about Jim's long-lost father was too ham fisted to be affective. And if that's not happening, the cast tend to show exaggerated and goofy expressions during the fight scenes. For me, the most unintentionally hysterical moment was Jim's reaction to getting slashed across the chest and Mark repeatedly screaming his name afterward.

Speaking of which, it's no surprise that this was Y. K. Kim's one and only acting role. No question, he's a tough martial artist and does great in the fight scenes, but his Korean accent is so thick, you can't understand him half the time without subtitles.

I wasn't expecting this to be as good as other 80's martial arts flicks like Bloodsport or The Last Dragon. But if you're into "so bad, it's good" kind of action films with 80's rock music, then definitely one a watch if you're bored.

It doesn't take long into watching "Miami Connection" to come up with a sizeable list of various kinds of ineptness to be found in it. But I want to start off by listing a few positive things about the movie. It is well photographed and lit, including the night sequences. Plus, the themes of friendship and loyalty found in the movie are commendable. And I can't say that the movie is *boring*. But more often than not, the movie gets away from being boring by being amusingly inept. The acting is incredibly bad; it's easy to see that none of the cast is a professional actor. The fight sequences are awkward. The songs are awful, but catchy enough that you won't be able to get them out of your head. And don't let me get started on the motorcycle ninjas! Is this a classic so bad that it's good movie? In my opinion, no - it isn't *quite* that aggressive in its badness. But with modern so bad that they're good movies being nearly impossible to find these days, this is adequate enough to feed your appetite for cinematic silliness.