Blood Harvest

Extremely odd flick about a young woman (Itonia Salochek) who returns from college to discover that her parents are missing. Her neighbors are none other than preppy Dean West and his brother played by that lovable minstrel Tiny Tim, who may or may not know what has happened. Meanwhile, a masked killer slaughters whoever comes near the woman and just who it is becomes more and more obvious to the viewer past the first thirty minutes. Despite being notorious for Tiny Tim's one and only starring feature, this film is comprised mostly of hopeless time filler. Tiny Tim is fairly decent, however, as the creepy clown-faced weirdo who skulks around the farm. In fact it's his antics, Salochek's abundant nude scenes, and relatively realistic special effects which save this less than thrilling time waster. The only really effective scene is the opening sequence; featuring Tiny Tim squawking a tune in the dark. That's guaranteed to make your skin crawl in any film.

'60s ukulele-playing pop-star Tiny Tim's contributions to horror: that disturbing 'Tiptoe Through The Tulips' song featured in Insidious (2010) to great effect, and this late '80s slasher, in which the falsetto singer dons clown make-up and garb to play Mervo, a crazy weirdo who may or may not be a psycho killer.

The film begins with beauty Jill (Itonia Salchek) returning to her hometown to visit her parents, who have been harangued by the locals on account of her father working at the bank that is overseeing the foreclosure of several farmsteads. When she gets home, Jill's parents are nowhere to be found and the walls are daubed with threatening graffiti; the local sheriff does little to investigate. Old childhood friend Gary (Dean West) tries to calm Jill's nerves, but she feels increasingly uneasy, especially with Gary's oddball brother Mervo hanging around and snooping on her. To make matters worse, other people in Jill's life start to disappear, including her boyfriend Scott (Peter Krause) and best friend Sarah. Is Mervo responsible?

Wisconsin-based horror auteur Bill Rebane fails to keep up the brisk pace necessary for such nonsense, and some stretches are duller than watching wheat grow, but he knows well enough to include plenty of nudity courtesy of sexy Salchek, and some decent gore to keep viewers watching, the blood-letting including some convincing throat slashings (the effects far better than I expected). Rebane also makes the most of Tiny Tim, who proves effectively unsettling throughout, singing a few creepy ditties and generally acting convincingly deranged.

It's far from a top-tier '80s slasher (but then few late'-80s slashers are), but there's just about enough fun to be had to make it of interest to fans of the genre. 5/10.

I just watched this fave old horror movie of mine, Blood Harvest, in its DVD incarnation.

Do NOT buy this DVD, unless you can't get this movie elsewhere.

(And, yes, tho IMDB doesn't show it, Amazon is offering a DVD version of Blood Harvest for around $13 as of today, 9-20-03.)

This is edited in AT LEAST two key scenes. First of all, in the famous shower scene, Jill gets forced out of the shower when a "mysterious stranger" turns off the cold water. In my recorded-from-cable VHS version, an additional short scene shows Jill not only jump out, but grab a towel and flash a brief, but lovely, full frontal - and if you're familiar with the movie, you know the character Jill is especially gorgeous.

That's gone from the DVD. It shows the brief, unrevealing dash from the shower, then cut to Jill wearing a robe in the kitchen.

The scene of her friend hung upside down in the barn, stripped to lingerie, then her throat slit: on the DVD version, the portion where the girl's throat is slit, followed by a brief-but-gory squirting blood shot, is gone entirely from the DVD. Only a brief flash of the dead girl is shone.

There's more missing, but I haven't noted everything because of my extreme disappointment, and because I was too ticked not to get this review out and stop some poor soul from buying it.

Worse, the picture quality varies tremendously from the beginning (almost looks 3rd generation videotape), to almost passable high video tape quality. Nothing APPROACHING typical DVD quality, even for old films transferred.

In the credits, it mentions "International Director's Cut", or some such. What baloney. The film looks like religious censors when after it with hedge trimmers.

You've been warned.

Wait 'til late night cable shows it again, and record it on a good new tape or DVD.

This is a ripoff pressing, and I'm one of the suckers. Luckily, it was low price. But I'll continue watching my uncut, nearly as good picture (and warmer colors) VHS tape of 13 years.

This review DEFINITELY refers to the DVD version.

Blood Harvest (1987)

** (out of 4)

Jill (Itonia Salchek) returns home to her parent's farm in Wisconsin and she quickly learns that the town people aren't too happy with them. She also soon realizes that both of them are missing and before long she and her friends come under attack by a masked maniac who enjoys cutting throats. Is it the mentally disturbed Mervo (Tiny Tim)?

Director Bill Rebane (THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION) apparently saw TIny Tim at a local fair and decides to pitch him on the idea of appearing in a slasher film. Apparently Tim liked the idea or perhaps he needed the money but either way the end result is a rather interesting slasher and one that for the most part is entertaining.

If you're expecting a masterpiece or some sort of high art then you're going to be disappointed because BLOOD HARVEST clearly wears its low-budget. The various trappings of low-budget horror films from this era are on full display but if you're a fan of the genre then you know that you just have to deal with those. Outside of that there's a fairly interesting movie here that works on several levels.

For starters, I actually thought the story itself was good enough for this type of film and I really enjoy the lead character even though the screenplay allows her to do some rather stupid things. I thought the entire set-up was decent and I'd argue that the settings were good. The film also offers up some good gore effects as long as you're watching the uncut version. Apparently the director went back and edited out some gore and nudity when he was running for office (?!?!?) so be sure you get the complete version.

The film also offers up quite a bit of nudity from lead actress Itonia Salchek and that's certainly not a bad thing. In fact, I must say that I thought she delivered a good and fun performance. As I said, there are countless low-budget issues here but I thought the actress helped make the film entertaining. The supporting players are decent but, again, the low-budget leads to some less- than-wonderful performances. With that said, seeing Tiny Tim in this kind of movie just adds a whole new atmosphere that you won't find in any other slasher.

BLOOD HARVEST isn't a masterpiece and it's certainly not a classic. It's not even a "good" movie but if you're a fan of the genre then it's certainly worth watching and I think the film rightfully deserves its cult following.

The only reason this movie is worth watching is because of the lovely Itonia Salchek. To bad we never saw this hottie again in anything else.

I had planned on buying the DVD for this very reason only to find from several reviews the movie has been cut worse than any of the victums in the movie.