Richard Pryor credited as playing...
Eddie • Kevin
- [last lines]
- Kevin: Eight hours ago I was lunatic at the state asylum. Right? Now I gotta a yacht, I met a nice lady. I'm proud to be an American.
- Nurse Maggie Lesser: Dr. Slattery.
- Kevin: [pretending to be Dr. Slattery] Yes. I'm going to the bathroom. I'm going to pee. I don't need a second opinion for that too. I know how to hold it and everything. Do I need a second opinion for that?
- Dr. Foster: No.
- [to the nurse]
- Dr. Foster: He doesn't need a second opinion.
- Kevin: This is my first offense. Couldn't you get me probation or something? Look, I'll do social work. Hey, how about this? I'll cook for runaway teenage girls.
- Kevin: To tell you the truth, I'm so tense right now you could open a beer bottle cap from my asshole. I mean, I am talking tense. I'm talking tense.
- Kevin: I don't think she bought it.
- Louis: I thought we had her this time. This lady is tough! She's seen a lot of scams, you now. So, we have to invent a new approach to insanity.
- Kevin: What are talking about inventing a new approach? Man, I was in there trying to wank off. I believe she was wanking off, too.
- Dr. Foster: Who are you?
- Kevin: [pretending to be Dr. Slattery] Dr. Slattery. Who are you?
- Dr. Foster: Dr. Foster.
- Kevin: Doctor, we got the same first name.
- Dr. Foster: What kind of gypsy doctor are you?
- Kevin: [pretending to be Dr. Slattery] Wait a minute, is that a formal accusation or libelous hearsay? Because I'm an Emergency Room Doctor, I have a lawyer on call 24 hours a day to take care of nitwits like you! You'll be on your ass like white on rice.
- Kevin: [singing while pretending to be Dr. Slattery] The junkies on the go, The junkies on the go, Hi-ho, the methadone, The junkies on the go...
- Kevin: [pretending to be Dr. Slattery] Did you just experience a sharp pain?
- Helicopter Junkie: No, I just experienced a blow job. What the hell do you think, man?
- Kevin: [pretending to be Dr. Slattery] Cough!
- Helicopter Junkie: [Dr. Joffe checking him for a hernia] I am coughing, man. I'll cough up a fucking lung if this guy will let go my balls.
- Kevin: Harder!