Andrew McCarthy: Jonathan Switcher

Mannequin

Jonathan Switcher

Jonathan Switcher: Hollywood, I don't know about men's thighs! They look fine to me, they really do!
Hollywood Montrose: Thank you. Albert called me 'cellulite city'. Maybe he's right. Maybe I should have my hips lifted.

Jonathan Switcher: Just when I think you're real, you vanished. What's with you? What's with me?
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: Didn't I tell you? You're the only one who can see me like this.
Jonathan Switcher: It's not exactly fair, is it?
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: [points to the sky] Talk to them.

Roxie Shield: I think you should see a professional.
Jonathan Switcher: A professional? What do you mean, a hooker?
Roxie Shield: No, I mean a psychiatrist.
Jonathan Switcher: I can't afford a psychiatrist.
Roxie Shield: Then call one of those shrinks on the radio.
Jonathan Switcher: A radio shrink? They're only good for people with problems that fit between the commercials.
Roxie Shield: Good night, Jonathan.

Jonathan Switcher: [coming out of the elevator] Easy, Felix! I don't think she's armed!
Felix: You can fool Rambo, but it won't work with me, Switcher! My brain is quicker than...
[before he can finish his sentence, the elevator doors close on him]

Jonathan Switcher: [serious] This job at Illustra is destroying your sense of humor. You gotta quit.
Roxie Shield: I'm not the one who can't deal with reality.
Jonathan Switcher: Reality is very disappointing.

Hollywood Montrose: [to Jonathan] Don't let Felix get to you. He just has a bad case of Miami Vice.
Jonathan Switcher: Listen, I gotta go, okay? I promised my girlfriend I was gonna take her out tonight.

Roxie Shield: Jonathan, I wanna give you one last chance. Now, come to Illustra!
Jonathan Switcher: What is in this for you, Roxie? An office with a view? I don't need Illustra or you. I have friends here, people who care. And someone who makes me feel good about myself. Goodbye, Roxie.
[Jonathan and Emmy leave Prince and Company on his motorcycle]
Roxie Shield: [shouts after him] You'll be sorry! You're making a serious mistake!

[Felix just caught Jonathan making love to Emmy as she assumes mannequin form]
Felix: [to Jonathan] Switcher, you are one... sick... puppy!
Jonathan Switcher: No, this is how I get my inspiration. I create. And I can tell by looking at you, you're not the artistic type.
Felix: [cracks his fingers] You know, Mr. Richards told me to keep an eye on you. But I think I'm gonna handle things my own way.

[Jonathan is explaining to Roxie about the first time Emmy came to life]
Roxie Shield: You could have decided to tell me that you wanted to stand me up. Instead, you come here to me lying with this ridiculous story!
Jonathan Switcher: No, I'm not lying, I'm insane.
Roxie Shield: Armand, let's just get out of here.

Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: Tonight, we're gonna do something different and special. Something that this store has never seen before. I just wish you didn't look so worried.
Jonathan Switcher: That's easy for you to say. You're a mannequin, you'll always have work. Me, I'm gonna wind up in the nuthouse after this. I wonder if insanity is covered in the employee health plan?

Claire Timkin: Good news, Jonathan. We've not only decided to keep you on, but I'm promoting you to visual merchandiser.
Jonathan Switcher: [surprised] You're kidding! That's great! What is it?
Claire Timkin: Just keep doing what you did last night and you'll be fine.
Jonathan Switcher: Mrs. Timkin, I'm not sure I can do it again. Last night might have been a one-time inspiration.
Claire Timkin: [encouraging] Oh Jonathan, don't doubt yourself. Go with it. Feel it. You're doing the job you were meant to do.
Mr. Richards: Well, you must lead a charmed life. It was all I could do to save your skin in there. No thanks are necessary, Switcher!

Jonathan Switcher: How do you know you're not missing something better 5,000 years from now?
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: Nothing could ever be better than being here with you.
Jonathan Switcher: This is one guy who is never gonna leave your side.

Mannequin Factory Boss: You know, you could get the dummy of the week award, Switcher.
Jonathan Switcher: She turned out pretty good, didn't she?
Mannequin Factory Boss: I wasn't talking about her.

[Mr. Richards and Felix have been arrested for their greedy actions]
Jonathan Switcher: Mrs. Timkin, those video cameras. Did they pick up everything last night?
Claire Timkin: [smiles coyly] I only saw what I needed to see.
Roxie Shield: [to Emmy] Just where do you come from?
Jonathan Switcher: Roxie, you would never understand.
[Jonathan and Emmy leave the store room before Roxie]
Hollywood Montrose: [snaps his fingers to B.J. in a justified manner] Mm-hmm.

Jonathan Switcher: [seeing Mannequin Emmy in a store window] It's you! I wanted to take you home, but they wouldn't let me. You know you're the first thing I've created in a really long time that made me feel like an artist.

[Emmy comes across and fiddles with a nailgun, unaware of its extreme danger]
Jonathan Switcher: [unplugs the nailgun] Why don't we stick to good old-fashioned hand tools for the time being, okay?
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: [checks his hands] You've got good hands. I liked the way they felt when you were putting me together.

Jonathan Switcher: You didn't happen to run into Michelangelo?
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: He wasn't very interested in me. He was involved with some guy named David.