Cary Elwes credited as playing...
Westley
- Westley: Give us the gate key.
- Yellin: I have no gate key.
- Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off.
- Yellin: Oh, you mean *this* gate key.
- Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
- Man in Black: You're that smart?
- Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
- Man in Black: Yes.
- Vizzini: Morons.
- Fezzik: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
- Man in Black: Oh no, it's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
- Inigo Montoya: You know, it's very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.
- Westley: Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.
- Buttercup: You mock my pain.
- Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
- Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
- Man in Black: No one of consequence.
- Inigo Montoya: I must know...
- Man in Black: Get used to disappointment.
- Inigo Montoya: Okay.
- Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could speed things up?
- Man in Black: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
- Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
- Man in Black: That does put a damper on our relationship.
- Inigo Montoya: But, I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
- Man in Black: That's VERY comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
- Inigo Montoya: I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
- Man in Black: No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
- Inigo Montoya: Isn't there any way you trust me?
- Man in Black: Nothing comes to mind.
- Inigo Montoya: I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
- Man in Black: Throw me the rope.
- Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.
- Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
- Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
- Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.
- [Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him]
- Man in Black: You've done nothing but study swordplay?
- Inigo Montoya: More pursue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him... it's been twenty years now and I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
- Man in Black: Well I certainly hope you find him someday.
- Inigo Montoya: You are ready then?
- Man in Black: Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.
- Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow... I hate to kill you.
- Man in Black: You seem a decent fellow... I hate to die.
- Inigo Montoya: Begin.
- Man in Black: Alright. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.
- Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
- Man in Black: You've made your decision then?
- Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
- Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
- Vizzini: Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?
- Man in Black: Australia.
- Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
- Man in Black: You're just stalling now.
- Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
- Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
- Vizzini: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!
- Man in Black: Then make your choice.
- Vizzini: I will, and I choose... what in the world can that be?
- [Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. The Man in Black looks backwards. Vizzini swaps the goblets]
- Man in Black: What? Where? I don't see anything.
- Vizzini: Well, I-I could have sworn I saw something. But no matter.
- [Vizzini tries to hold back laughter]
- Man in Black: What's so funny?
- Vizzini: I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
- [Vizzini and the Man in Black drink]
- Man in Black: You guessed wrong.
- Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha-ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - the most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"!
- [Vizzini laughs triumphantly and obnoxiously. Suddenly, his smile freezes on his face and he slumps to the ground, dead. The Man in Black removes the blindfold from Buttercup's head]
- Buttercup: Who are you?
- Man in Black: I am no one to be trifled with. That is all you ever need know.
- [he unties her restraints]
- Buttercup: To think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
- Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to Iocane powder.
- Inigo Montoya: [falls to his knees] Kill me quickly.
- Man in Black: I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you follow me either...
- [knocks Inigo unconscious]
- Man in Black: Please understand I hold you in the highest respect.
- Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
- Man in Black: Do you always begin conversations this way?
- Prince Humperdinck: To the death!
- Westley: No! To the pain.
- Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
- Westley: I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.
- Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
- Westley: It won't be the last. "To the pain" means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then, your hands at the wrists. Next, your nose.
- Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time; a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
- Westley: I wasn't finished! The next thing you will lose will be your left eye, followed by your right.
- Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it.
- Westley: WRONG! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means: it means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
- Prince Humperdinck: I think you're bluffing.
- Westley: It's possible, pig. I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
- [slowly rises and aims his sword directly at Humperdinck]
- Westley: Drop... your... sword.
- [Humperdinck's mouth hangs agape, then he drops his sword to the floor]
- Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
- Man in Black: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?
- Fezzik: I could kill you now.
- Man in Black: Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
- Fezzik: It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.
- Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
- Inigo Montoya: Let me explain.
- [pause]
- Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.
- Westley: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.
- Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.
- Westley: I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?
- Inigo Montoya: There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.
- Westley: And our assets?
- Inigo Montoya: Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.