Fred Savage credited as playing...
The Grandson
- [last lines]
- The Grandson: Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.
- Grandpa: As you wish.
- The Grandson: A book?
- Grandpa: That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it to you.
- The Grandson: Has it got any sports in it?
- Grandpa: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...
- The Grandson: Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try to stay awake.
- Grandpa: Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.
- Grandpa: It was ten days to the wedding. The King still lived, but Buttercup's nightmares were growing steadily worse.
- The Grandson: See, didn't I tell you she'd never marry that rotten Humperdinck?
- Grandpa: Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.
- Grandpa: Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
- Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
- Westley: As you wish.
- Grandpa: "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.
- Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.
- Westley: As you wish.
- Grandpa: That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.
- Buttercup: Farm boy... fetch me that pitcher.
- Westley: As you wish.
- The Grandson: Hold it, hold it. What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports?
- The Grandson: Is this a kissing book?
- Grandpa: Wait, just wait.
- The Grandson: Well, when does it get good?
- Grandpa: Keep your shirt on, and let me read.
- Grandpa: She doesn't get eaten by the eels at this time.
- The Grandson: What?
- Grandpa: The eel doesn't get her. I'm explaining to you because you look nervous.
- The Grandson: I wasn't nervous. Maybe I was a little bit concerned, but that's not the same thing.
- Grandpa: Westley didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who never left captives alive. When Buttercup got the news that Westley was murdered...
- The Grandson: Murdered by pirates is good...
- The Grandson: Wait, what did Fezzik mean "He's dead"? I mean, he didn't mean dead. Westley's only faking. Right?
- Grandpa: You want me to read this or not?
- The Grandson: Who gets Humperdinck?
- Grandpa: I don't understand.
- The Grandson: Who kills Prince Humperdinck? At the end. Somebody's got to do it. Is it Iñigo, who?
- Grandpa: Nobody. Nobody kills him. He lives.
- The Grandson: You mean he wins?
- The Grandson: Jesus, Grandpa! What did you read me this thing for?
- Grandpa: You know, you've been very sick and you're taking this story very seriously. I think we better stop now.
- The Grandson: No, I'm okay. I'm okay. Sit down. I'm all right.
- Grandpa: And as they reached for each other...
- [stops reading]
- The Grandson: What? What?
- Grandpa: Ah, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear that.
- The Grandson: I don't mind so much.
- Grandpa: Oh, okay.
- [keeps reading]
- [the story has come to yet another kissing scene, annoying the Grandson]
- The Grandson: Oh, no. No, please.
- Grandpa: What is it? What's the matter?
- The Grandson: They're kissing again. Do we have to hear the kissing part?
- Grandpa: Someday, you might not mind so much.
- Prince Humperdinck: My father's final words were...
- The Grandson: [interrupting] Hold it! Hold it, Grandpa!
- The Grandson: She doesn't marry Humperdinck. She marries Westley. I'm just sure of it. After all that Westley did for her, if she didn't marry him, it wouldn't be fair.
- Grandpa: Well, who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life isn't always fair.