Kelly Jo Minter credited as playing...
Denise Green
- Shoop: Denise: no previous test score because you ditched every test, but a 38.
- Mrs. Green: Honey, that's terrific!
- Denise: We'll get 'em next time.
- Shoop: Kevin, from a 48 to a 75!
- Kevin Winchester: Yeah, I'm back on the team!
- [Kevin and his did share football shouts and hug]
- Shoop: Chainsaw: last score was a 6, this time: 59. Monster comeback! And Dave: from a 26 to a 70.
- Dave: I passed!
- Anna-Maria Mazarelli: You made it!
- Chainsaw: You passed? You passed and I failed, asshole! How could you do that to me?
- Dave: It was an accident. I'll take it again, I can fail, I know it.
- Shoop: Pam went from a 53 to an 82.
- Pam: Was that the highest?
- Shoop: Well, almost. That guy who spent six weeks in the bathroom got a 91. But look, there's more going on here than test scores and grades. You all worked hard and improved.
- Phil Gills: And that's very nice, Mr. Shoop. The point here is that we are here to discuss Mr. Shoop's flagrant violation of school policies.
- Principal Kelban: Hold it, Gills. According to my numbers, the average scores have increased from 28 to 63. That's 125% improvement. Now that's teaching. Mr. Shoop, I'm granting you tenure.
- Chainsaw: This menstruation thing is a scam. Women are so lucky.
- Denise: WHAT? Oh we're so lucky? You think having your period is a picnic in the park? First of all you're all PMSed out, and second you don't any room in your purse for your hairbrush because of all the damn mini pads. You are SO ignorant!
- Principal Kelban: Good morning, young people. Vice Principal Gills has some words for you. Mr. Gills.
- Phil Gills: Thank you, Principal Kelban. Well, well. I suppose that you all remember the English skills test you took last month?
- Students: No.
- Denise: I had English?
- Dave: Was that the dot-to-dot puzzle?
- Chainsaw: Yeah, that was it, yeah.
- Dave: No, I don't remember.
- Phil Gills: I'm not surprised. All of you failed. However, in accordance with the district's new policies on minimum academic proficiencies, you will all have the opportunity to retake the exam.
- Chainsaw: Oh, joy, I have a boner now.