Richard Pryor credited as playing...
Arlo Pear
- Loan broker: Everything is OK. Your application is fine. But right now, I can't give you any money.
- Arlo Pear: When *can* you give us the money?
- Loan broker: Mr. Pear, are you a gambling man?
- Arlo Pear: No, I'm not!
- Loan broker: Well, you are now. Look, I'm gonna level with you people. I just bet a big chunk of the bank's money on Hannah Blue in the 7th at Hallmark Downs.
- Arlo Pear: That's embezzlement!
- Loan broker: That's right. And that's exactly what I've been doing here for 22 years. But I'll tell ya, this horse can't lose. You'll get your money for the house. This horse has never lost on a wet track.
- [over radio]
- Race Announcer: I can't *remember* when I've ever seen a track this *dry*.
- Casey Pear: I'm not moving to Idaho. No fucking way.
- Arlo Pear: Hey! That's a quarter in the swear jar, young lady.
- Casey Pear: [Begins putting money into the swear jar as she speaks] Okay, there's no God damn way I'm God damn moving to Ida-son of a bitch, shit eating-ho.
- Arlo Pear: [arrives at the new house on top of a semi trailer] Honey! Look what I found! I found our shit... I brought our shit home... this is our shit!
- Cornell Crawford: Well choke my chicken! Your name's Pear right? You lived next door to Frank, am I right?
- Arlo Pear: Yeah.
- Cornell Crawford: Small world ain't it?
- Arlo Pear: Too small.
- Cornell Crawford: Frank says you're a real asshole and if you fuck with me, I'll kill you, you understand?
- Arlo Pear: I don't want your money, I want those assholes!
- People on Back of Truck: Oh *those* assholes!
- Edwards: [on top of Edwards and Perry's moving truck] Now look here, Mr. Pear, if you got any complaints about our service, you better call the head office.
- Arlo Pear: Shut the hell up. No more talk. I want my furniture!
- Edwards: Who you think you talkin' to? I'll stomp a mudhole in your ass, poop butt!
- [Arlo kicks him in the head]
- Arlo Pear: [on the brink of insanity when he notices his Saab has been trashed, Arlo begins to whisper into Brad's ear] I'm going to kill you. Do you hear me? So you got about an hour to get out of town before I find a gun, I load it with eight bullets and I kill all crazy-eight of you son of a bitches! Now, please go. I don't want to go to jail. Please!
- Brad: You're squishing Teddy, man.
- Arlo Pear: [takes the bear from Brad] I'm going to kill him, too.
- Cornell Crawford: What the fuck are you doing?
- Arlo Pear: I want you to take this big red motherfucker and put it back in your garage, you understand you son of a bitch? And go to the store and get a human sized mower!
- Arlo Pear: Frank, remember two years I loaned you my weed whacker? Well since we're moving, I've come to ask for it back.
- Frank Crawford: No.
- Arlo Pear: It's *our* weed whacker, Frank, the whole family went down to Sears together. So I've come to ask you to give it back.
- Frank Crawford: No.
- Arlo Pear: Frank, I loaned it to you two years ago to cut yor weeds. You haven't cut shit with the weed whacker! What did you do with it? Keep the weed whacker, Frank! Be happy with it because you have to friends! Nobody wants to talk to you!
- Perry: Frank, that you?
- Frank Crawford: Edwards, Perry! Well choke my chicken!
- Reporter: Now that your job's been eliminated, sir, what are your future plans?
- Arlo Pear: I just sharpened my pencil!
- Loan broker: So, you found your dream house. And right now you're asking First Boise Savings & Loan to give you a mortgage.
- Arlo Pear: As you can see, I've had the same job for 15 years.
- Loan broker: Well, that's very nice, but it's not enough. I mean, Al Capone had the same job for 30 years.
- Monica Pear: But we've never had any problem with credit.
- Loan broker: Oh, don't get me wrong. I trust you. We trust all our customers. Why, this bank was *built* on trust. Here. Sign here.
- Loan broker: Uh, you gotta get closer. This pen is chained down, you know.