Memorial Valley Massacre

This film seemed like it might be a good B grade slasher as I often have enjoyed them, I liked the concept of a hermit serial killer, it was false advertising. What you get is a made for t.v style movie, full with a bad soundtrack, mostly terrible acting with the exception of George who looks like Stanley Baker, and the Black groundskeeper. The other campers are a crew of Disney style bikers, two horny punks with a tease of an easy girl, two unlikable city parents with their chubby son who acts too flamboyant to ride an ATV, or be a thief, lone female camper who for some reason lived to the end of the film. Lets not forget about our hermit who is actually a caveman, that learned to make fur garments, and channel is inner MacGyver in booby trap making. The most laughable part was when the caveman was tampering with William Smits RV and it actually said flammable above a door covering the gas line for cooking, the cave man somehow knew how to tamper with it. Most of the deaths are cheesy but then this film was 1 hr 33 min of pause cheesiness. 1.5/5.

I saw this 80s slasher on British video as 'Valley of Death' and it's one of those flicks where everyone is so naff and stupid the reason to keep watching is to see how many of them die horribly. Unfortunately the violence is a bit too restrained, which is a problem because the stupidity rating of the characters is high - all the cliches are here, the obnoxious fat kid, a pair of poodle-haired teenage hoodlums and a gang of acting school rejects trying to be tough bikers. The girls are old-school, i.e. they don't tool up and try to be Sigourney Weaver as soon as there's a threat. The main problem is with the maniac who's stalking them - he's obviously like the cannibal killers in 'The Hills Have Eyes', but instead it looks more like Cindi Lauper designed him. Not very threatening! But if you need a dumb campsite murder flick to end the night with, it's bearable and you can enjoy the formula even if it could do with some nastier payoffs.

Plot = Memorial Valley Campsite has just opened for business even though it's far from finished. A bunch of campers set up camp, unknowing of the terror that awaits them in the forest. You see, a Tarzan-like forest boy does not approve of the recent changes in Memorial Valley and has decided to start killing the campers.

Well I can say that I've definitely never seen a movie about a killer caveman before, cheesy for the first hour in other words just ain't that good only one person dies during that time, however once the movie gets going the last thirty minutes is pretty entertaining as should they be seeing as how fourteen people get killed in the final half hour of the movie.

This is one of the last backwoods slashers that we got from the 80s and I think it's pretty safe to say that this was one of the movies that killed the trend. The movie is obviously very low-budget with a bunch of incompetent actors and an even more incompetent special effects team. The gore effects are ridiculous. Memorial Valley Massacre is far from a flawless film but as I said before, the final 30 minutes kind of make the first hour feel worth while.

All in all it may not be a very good movie but it's quite enjoyable during the last thirty minutes which is why I've given a 5 instead of a 4.

Memorial Valley Massacre is one of many run of the mill slasher movies. The acting is very rigid and staged and the actors don't always fit the characters they play very well. Most of the movie looks scripted. You can almost feel them trying to say the right line. There is one character that in my opinion stood out. I do think that Jimmy Justice did a good job playing Zeke. For the most part though, most of the acting was pretty bad. The "slasher" bad guy was a big disappointment. He's not scary looking at all but he does manage to perform a good number of kills, some of them halfway decent. The killer's abilities and knowledge are totally unbelievable but there is so much in this film that just doesn't make sense that it really doesn't matter. Just shake your head, laugh and keep watching. What I did enjoy about this movie is that it's so simple, light and easy to follow. There's nothing complicated in this movie. Some of the kills were pretty good and a good portion of the film falls under the "It's so bad it's good" category. It might be better to say it's so bad it's funny. There are so many films out there that are much worse. At least this one has some entertainment value. Although forgettable, you could make a worse pick.

Memorial Valley, which has remained an untouched preserve, is opening a campground. Things are off to a rocky start when a mutilated dog is found in a well on opening day. Soon, the valley's first campers find themselves terrorized by a crazy (and rather silly looking) primitive type who is ticked off at the noise and land pollution. So, everyone knows that many 80s horror cheesefests are "so bad they're good." Well, this one is so bad it's...cute? Yeah, I think that's what it is. Everything about it comes across as endearing. I don't see how anyone could watch this and not have a hilarious time. And there's an environmentalist subtext to boot. Fabulous 80s fun. My Rating: 4/10.