Philip Bruns credited as playing...
Doc Mandel
- Doc Mandel: [looks at Joey's eyes] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, huh.
- Joey: What? What is it? What's wrong?
- Brenda: Is he gonna be okay?
- Doc Mandel: Let's look at the tongue, alright.
- [Joey opens his mouth]
- Doc Mandel: Oh my God.
- Brenda: What? What is it? What?
- Doc Mandel: [gestures her over] We're going to do a
- [retches]
- Doc Mandel: biopsy.
- Brenda: Is it cancer?
- Doc Mandel: If we're lucky.
- Joey: NOOOOOOOOOO!
- Jesse Wilson: Hello? Hello, is there anybody out there? Come in, come in. Can you hear me? Is anybody out there? Hello? Can you tell us where to go?
- Special Zombie: Come to the hospital.
- Jesse Wilson: Sure, we'll be right there!
- Doc Mandel: Hold it, hold it! Uh, pardon me, but would you mind telling me who the President of the United States is?
- Special Zombie: Um, Harry Truman.
- Jesse Wilson: Who's Harry Truman?
- Tom Essex: They want brains, we'll give them brains.
- Jesse Wilson: Doctor Mandel, open up!
- Doc Mandel: [opens door] Oh, it's you. Why aren't you out playing in the traffic? How'd you get in here, what seems to be the problem?
- Tom Essex: Where're the keys to your car?
- Doc Mandel: Why? Are we going for a ride?
- [hears zombies screaming outside]
- Doc Mandel: There seem to be hooligans terrorizing the neighborhood.
- Lucy Wilson: No, it's the dead, they've come back to life!
- Doc Mandel: Dead? Dead what?
- Tom Essex: People! We need your car!
- Doc Mandel: Well it sounds to me like you need a hearse.
- Doc Mandel: You will also notice there is no pupillary response, no reflexes, obviously lividity, suggesting chronic, retractable, rigor mortis.
- Tom Essex: Is it serious?
- Doc Mandel: Is *dead* serious?
- Brenda: But they can talk!
- Joey: Oh God it hurts! I can't move my arms or legs!
- Brenda: See? Now you call this dead? They are not dead, you jerk!
- Doc Mandel: Have you noticed he isn't breathing? Care to check heartbeat? In my opinion they should be contained.
- Tom Essex: Contained?
- Doc Mandel: Bagged.
- Tom Essex: Bagged?
- Doc Mandel: Bagged.
- [dramatically draws up the zipper on Ed's jacket]
- Ed: [moaning in pain] Owie!
- Brenda: [the hospital is empty] Anybody here?
- Jesse Wilson: [tries phone] Dead.
- Lucy Wilson: Don't say that word.
- Tom Essex: Why? Dammit why? Where'd they all go?
- Brenda: Hello? Where is everybody?
- Jesse Wilson: When are you guys going to wake up? Nobody can help us except...
- Doc Mandel: A trained physician, such as myself. Hold this my son, thank you very much. Ah, yes yes yes.
- Brenda: What what what?
- Doc Mandel: [to Joey and Ed] When did you two have your last bowel movement? Hmm? Do you happen to know what a catheter is?
- Jesse Wilson: They gotta have police here, emergency stuff, somebody somewhere!
- Tom Essex: I'll take a look around town.
- Jesse Wilson: Not without me!
- Lucy Wilson: You! Stay put!
- Jesse Wilson: No way, I saw it, I'm the one who knows stuff.
- Tom Essex: Kid's got a point.
- Lucy Wilson: Ha! That'll be the day.
- Tom Essex: Come on, cut it out you two. If we're going let's go together, we'll be a team.
- Jesse Wilson: Teams suck.
- [storms off]