Matthew Broderick credited as playing...
- Alan: Why are all the mirrors covered?
- Arnold: So we don't see the pain in our faces.
- Alan: Why is everyone sitting on boxes?
- Arnold: To make sure there's pain in our faces.
- Ma: [in an undertone] You told me he was Jewish!
- Arnold: Out-of-town Jewish.
- Arnold: Do you *ever* think before you speak?
- Alan: No. Why? Do you?
- Arnold: Frequently. It helps to pass the time while you're speaking.
- Alan: I have a question.
- Arnold: The answer is yes.
- Alan: You don't even know what I was going to ask.
- Arnold: Whatever it is, the answer is yes. I'm too tired to argue.
- Alan: ...Good. Because I love you, too.
- Ed: Why don't you ask Arnold? I'm sure he has lots to say on the subject.
- Alan: He says you're a boring, self-centered, insensitive old fool who wouldn't know love if it wore wings, diaper, and shot heart-shaped arrows at your butt.
