Witchery

I recently picked this up on VHS under the title "Ghosthouse 2", although it has nothing at all to do with the original Ghosthouse film. I was expecting it to be terrible, after reading IMDb reviews, but it actually turned out to be OK. The setting of the film is what gets the most marks from me - I love seeing the shots of the house and island from the sea. It's THE perfect setting for a horror film. I do think it was a little wasted on this particular film though. Never mind.

The film itself isn't too bad, it just drags a bit in some places and I didn't like the witchcraft theme. I found the scenes where people are transported via that "Doctor Who" style vortex extremely cringe-making. It looked like something from a cheap 80's sci-fi film! Other than that I thought the death of the old woman was excellent - she gets her lips sewn together and is hung upside down above a lit fireplace. She can't scream for help and the others have no idea she's there. Now there's an original death for you! The parts where the helicopter flies around the house are also excellent - the people inside can't signal for help because the house has trapped them inside.

I would recommend horror fans to give this a watch, it's silly and boring at times but the good bits make up for that.

A group of people are stranded at an isolated hotel by an evil witch (Hildegard Knef) who possesses them and kills them. I don't understand why the rating for this film is so low on IMDB. It's well made by the standards of the horror genre and featuring a good performance by Knef, some seriously scary scenes, and good effects. It is however unrelently mean and cruel. Unrated; Extreme Violence, Rape, and Profanity.

An Italian horror movie with so many juicy AKA titles and starring both Linda Blair and David Hasselhoff... I mean, that has got to be worth it, right? "Witchery" is not even as inept as Umberto Lenzi's "Ghosthouse" - or maybe it is - and it's about as much fun. Hassle Da Hoff is always worth a few chuckles, if you ask me. Linda Blair gets to play her possessed self again, with an exploded hairdo this time. "Witchery" also features a handful of pretty memorable killings (lips sewn tight and burned in the fireplace, pulsating veins popping & squirting and bleeding to death, nailed to the cross and burned like a witch upside down, etc). This movie really ain't wrapped too tight, and there lies the beauty of it all: Italian genre movies from the 80's are usually a pretty bonkers affair altogether (that ghostly rape of a virgin was a winner! - yes, there's boobies). Safe to say I enjoyed "Witchery", more than I thought I would . Both Lenzi's first one (Italian title: "La Casa 3") and this unrelated, unofficial second film are recommended viewings if you like your haunted house stuff trashy, gory and Italian-style. Much like a big, greasy pizza, these movies aren't exactly nutritious, but they're tasty as hell.

Master thespian David Hasselhoff and his female equivalent Linda Blair team up with a chick who looks like Daphne Zuniga and a chick who looks like Christina Applegate and other assorted weirdos in this remake of And Then There Were None. This movie is so low budget I'm surprised they could afford a helicopter. Not to be missed.

"Witchery" (1989) If it was not for such great popular actors this movie would be lost in obscurity. David Hasselhoff played Prince Simon in Starcrash (1978). Linda Blair played Ida Mae in "Married with Children" TV Series (1986-1997).

Strange things happen like the film runtime is stated as 95 minutes or 96 uncut. But the DVD I placed in the player says 1:36.50 minutes. There are no subtitles so you might have to play the German parts over again as they slur. There is not an overabundance of background music which makes the phony background music more impressive when they use it.

We get a lot of amateur-stilted dialogs; you are just going to have to get over it if you are to make it through the movie.

Linda Sullivan (Catherine Hickland) is a witchy researcher and an overdue virgin. She and her quazi boyfriend investigate a derelict hotel on the coast of Massachusetts.

Same time a family is looking to purchase the hotel. We get to see the boat captain hanging around, an intrepid German actress, a weird portal (like "Hot Tub Time Machine",) a dumb waiter, and much more.

They have time to reflect and so do we. Did I watch the whole thing?

Looks like it could be a pilot for a TV series.