Woodchipper Massacre

I love retro 80's shockers that were shot on video. This falls into this category. Extremely cheap with horrible direction and even worse acting, with an outrageous plot, this is a very entertaining bad movie fun fest. The main problem for me with this movie was every actor has a very annoying voice...especially that girl, she is always whining. If you can get passed their annoying voices, you'll laugh your butt off. Although, don't expect much gore...it is not a horror movie, really ,but more of a comedy. The movie is about some kids who are alone for the weekend, well, not alone, they have their babysitting annoying aunt watching them. When their aunt dies in a complete "accident" they must dispose of the body in any wayy possible, in the most original disposing of a body ever, that even CSI won't touch! Also, one of the best taglines ever...Watch this if you want to see a realllly bad movie.

"Woodchipper Massacre" is a classic example of a movie where one will be conditioned to expect certain things given the title, and director Jon McBrides' track record. But it's not an over the top splatterfest with a high body count. McBride, approaching the material like a sitcom, instead makes it a nearly bloodless dark comedy.

Three children: Jon (played by the writer / director), Denice (Denice Edeal), and Tom (Tom Casiello) have their Aunt Tess (Patricia McBride) forced on them when their dad (Perren Page) goes out of town on a business trip. She's a grumpy, moralizing holier than thou type, and is pretty insufferable. When she accidentally dies, the kids realize that the means of covering their asses is within reach...

It's understandable if you initially feel frustrated with this one, and think you were suckered in by false advertising. But if you are able to finally appreciate the movie for what it is, and not fret over what it isn't, it does provide some fairly amusing entertainment. The filmmaking is actually not that bad for a micro budget "shot on video" effort, although the music score is so godawful that it's a gas. The performances are hilariously absurd, although these characters do grow on you after a while. The scenario eventually turns into a time honored "beat the clock" sort of deal, as you wonder if the kids will be able to cover up their assorted crimes before Dad can return home early from his trip.

Decent entertainment with some blackly humorous moments.

Six out of 10.

Definitely one of the best shot-on-video movies to come out of the Northeast in the late 80's. Tom Casiello's air guitar scene makes this movie worth renting alone.

This movie was shot on video in 1988 as Jon McBrides second feature. Shot on a Panasonic AG-450 S-VHS camcorder, and using local actors, friends and family Jon made a masterpiece. Well written and scored by Jon, the video was edited and distributed nationally in 1989. I rented this movie in the early 90's and it inspired me to take my hobby of video and take it another level. When I realized that anyone with the talent and ambition could actually make a movie and have it out there for millions to see I pursued television. Jon went on to make many other movies and appear in several other TV shows, Soaps, and even a Michael Jackson video! Little Tommy grew up to be an Emmy award winning writer for daytime drama. Jon had a good eye for talent. Most recently, WOODCHIPER MASSACRE was featured on the national syndicated show, "Videobob's Stupid Movie of the Week". The was a hit and one of the best ratings grabber for the show. - VB

I've never actually seen this film but can tell you one thing about its production. While a comedy/oldies radio DJ in 1988, I got a call from the production company. They asked if I'd write and record a bit they'd drop into the soundtrack as sounds eminating from a TV (the television screen itself would never be shown). I said sure, wrote a parody of '50s sci-fi monster clichés, rounded up some sound effects and called in another DJ, Pam Landry, to play the female part. As she happened to be on the air at the time, she put on a long song, joined me at the mike in the production room and we cut the voicetrack in a single take. Giggling, she then went back to her show while I mixed in the goofy sound effects. We'd have never done it if we'd known that "Woodchipper Massacre" was going to be such a turkey -- but, then again, we never got paid for our efforts, either! -- Gary Theroux