Zelly and Me

This movie has been a favorite of mine for a long time, but I don't know anybody else who likes it. What appeals to me is that the story is so simple but still so deep.

It is one of the biggest drama I have ever seen, but still, nobody dies, no ship goes down and so on. The drama is just the feelings of a little girl and a grandmother who "loves" her too much.

The film is very well acted (even Lynch is good) and the script is superb. There is an interesting reference in the film to Joan of Arc (the girl sees her self as Joan). In fact, the movie could easily bee seen as a Joan of Arc film.

It's 1958 Virginia. Phoebe is a young orphan with a Joan d'Arc obsession. She lives with her wealthy grandmother Co-Co (Glynis Johns), nanny Zelly (Isabella Rossellini), maid Nora, and Earl the gardener. Willie (David Lynch) inherited the large gated mansion nearby. Co-Co is raising Phoebe with coercive methods. Zelly is horrified by her training like a dog and Co-Co's intention to break her of her willfulness.

I can't believe that this is what Rossellini and Lynch did together after Blue Velvet. I did wonder what if Lynch did the directing. At least, he likes writer/director Tina Rathborne enough to have her direct a couple of Twin Peaks episodes later. She seems to have faded from the scene after that. With this movie, she struggles to set up this world at first. It has to do with the grandmotherly Glynis Johns. Until the first incident, I didn't realize that she is a strict disciplinarian. That needs to be more absolute and the home needs to be more oppressive from the very beginning. I do feel for the little girl's struggles and her head-spinning turns. She doesn't know whether she's coming or going. It's the last part where this movie excels. I do wish for a final wedding scene. I was waiting for an elderly Rossellini to walk in and close out the film.

Small movies can sometimes yield large pleasures, but to appreciate this modest, independently produced drama you'll have to first forgive a lot of its shortcomings. The film is more well-meant than well-made, following the battle of wills between a dictatorial grandmother and a benevolent French governess over the welfare of a precocious, orphaned poor-little-rich-girl. But it's an unfair competition from the start: Grandma Coco can only express her affection for young Phoebe through jealous tantrums and cruel discipline, while governess Zelly (short for Mademoiselle) is all compassion and tenderness (and very little else).

The film is a peculiar mixture of lukewarm nostalgia and cold, upper-crust alienation, showing more forbearance than might otherwise be expected from a story about child abuse. But the meager budget isn't enough to convincingly recreate the (somewhat arbitrary) 1958 setting, effectively isolating the action in a dramatic vacuum. A little more background detail might have made it more involving.

Look for cult director David Lynch in a small role, alongside his then girlfriend Isabella Rossellini.

I saw this when I was a youngster (8 or 9) on HBO way back in the late 1980s or early 90s. I was fascinated by what I was seeing. I felt for her, I didn't know why. I related to her situation, but I couldn't understand why. It wasn't until rewatching it much later in my life that i realized what was actually happening to that poor girl. Her grandmother would only dish out love for Phoebe when phoebe was in full compliance with her grandmothers wishes meanwhile her nanny, Zelly loved her unconditionally. Hence the tagline. "Zelly never made me choose between being loved and being me." Her emotions are in a rollercoaster of conflict between her two gaurdians. Which made me understand that I had a similar upbringing. My parents only gave me loving attention when they saw what they wanted from me and not who I was becoming. I understand this cannot be compared to children who suffered worse childhood trauma but this kind of treatment plays a factor on your mental health. This is how trust issues arise later in life, how one can become over attached to a superficial relationship, etc. And how you wonder why a child would come to harm themselves when they don't feel loved. In that kind of situation, feeling pain the same way one of you childhood hero's went through might be better than feeling nothing at all from someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally.

I wish this film was more recognized and had a wider audience. It's a shame it's not on dvd or bluray. I feel like this is a more important film to watch as a child of the same age as the main character Phoebe. The pain you see on screen is very real. It's deep emotional pain and that can shape you or harm you later in life. It did me.

If you can watch or find this movie I highly recommend it. Whether you endured similar circumstances or not, this will help you understand that that kind of mistreatment as child, even if adults like to say "this is nothing compared to-". This stuff hurts.

I watched this movie in 1990 and I was just 14 years old but through the years this movie enters my mind. I tried to find it once before but couldn't find it. I'm curious to see it now that I am older. It was always a sad movie to me.