Caged Fury

Once the opening scene of the woman in the prison is over, there really is no reason to keep watching. It was clear they suffered, as their clothes are very skimpy, lacy, and in some, don't hold the person in. But we have a young woman living on a ranch in Utah who has dreams of making it big as an actress in LA. It then becomes very predictable. So she gets framed, sent to Honeywell State Prison for Woman, a very 'butch' place. The warden wears leather with plenty of buckles. There are guards wearing a police uniform, which is not how prisons are run. And yes, Eric Estrada has a decent sized role and rides his Harley, and Richard Barathy, sporting a mullet, does a lot of kung fu. There are far better WIP movies out there (any with Ilsa would do), as this is a waste of time.

There are some films in this world that are just so bad that they're hilarious, and Caged Fury is one of these. The hero of the story is Dirk Ramsey, a be-mulleted kung-fu superman who attempts to rescue the inmates of a women's prison. He kicks through brick walls and tackles entire gangs with only his wits and his ridiculous wig to protect him. Dirk's one liners are cornier than extremely corny corn, and the actor playing Dirk is obviously overweight and out of shape. However, this means that the fights within the film are some of the funniest martial arts scenes ever committed to film as poor old Dirk struggles to lift his leg above his waist. Most of the actresses in the film are porn stars, and spend the movie swoonig over Dirk and his burly chum Victor. I thoroughly recommend this film for anyone who enjoys a good laugh. Make a night of it; invite some friends over, stick on some Europe or Iron Maiden and watch this movie in the context that it belongs in, a celebration of pure 1980's cheese.

This has got to be one of the funniest films of all time; featuring the most underrated action hero ever to grace the silver screen. For those of you who have yet to watch this masterpiece, Dirk Ramsey is the MAN! He is far superior to Spiderman; his intellect makes Batman look like a dunce, while his strength, even Superman would struggle against the might that is Ramsey. And did I mention that he oozes sex appeal? Throw in sleazy Eric Estrada as his side-kick Victor, and you have all the ingredients for one hell of a viewing. Also, all the 'ladies' on offer apart from Cat and Tracey Collins, are porn stars in real life, you've gotta love this film.

When I popped "Caged Fury" into my VCR, I had no idea what to expect because I didn't have the VHS sleeve, so I thought I might be in for a kind of kick boxing movie... and I wasn't so far off. Let me explain. The film revolves around two sisters who get sent to this women's prison unjustifiably. Granted, lots of eye candy, but most of the scenes with any kind of nudity we're due to sexual harrasement and such... not much fun. Our hero is the top of the cake though. It's not explained how he is so talented at fighting, but he looked like a professional kickboxer! It was hilarious! There is no motive either for him to put his life on the line to save these two girls. Very bad though, but fun for a late night romp.

...or cry 'till you laugh. One or the other. It's a terrible film, but you've got to be made of stone not to enjoy this. There is line drawn in the sand of the desert where all bad films dwell. It separates those films that are just bad from those that are so appallingly terrible they just have to be seen. The word tacky doesn't do this justice. you absolutely have to see this film. Get a couple of mates around and watch it with plenty of alcohol on standby. I promise you you'll enjoy it.

Plus, Dirk Ramsey? There's never been an action hero like him before. There never will be again. He should have his own theme tune.