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When a motorbike gang kills an occultist, the evil spirit he was summoning inhabits a damaged bike. The bike is then bought and restored, but reveals its true nature when it tries to exact v... Read allWhen a motorbike gang kills an occultist, the evil spirit he was summoning inhabits a damaged bike. The bike is then bought and restored, but reveals its true nature when it tries to exact vengeance on the gang.When a motorbike gang kills an occultist, the evil spirit he was summoning inhabits a damaged bike. The bike is then bought and restored, but reveals its true nature when it tries to exact vengeance on the gang.
Paula Ann Bland
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Films such as this, simply made and at low cost, can go either way as to insult your intelligence or titillate your senses of fun and humour. This particular genre, the British independent film genre, is taken to lower levels and with good company such as "Psychomania" aka "Death Wheelers" (1973) that rolls along with Nicky Henson, Beryl Reid (1919-1996) and George Sanders (1906-1972), joining the shenanigans "Come Play with Me" (1977) has Mary Millington (1945-1979) jumping on more than the band-wagon, too, Johnny Vegas and Mackenzie Crook in the half-baked "Sex Lives of the Potato Men" (2004) and the whiter-than-white "The Calcium Kid" (2004) delivered to us by a young Orlando Bloom making an all too disinvite crease in this celluloid bargain-basement bin genre.
It's all been done before; the highest example for this accolade is the winning team of the exceptionally successful English comedy franchise the "Carry On..." films (all Pinewood Studios shot) spanning thirty years (1958-1978). For decades this British tradition of slap-stick, innuendoes, double entendre and low-brow wit regurgitated as it may feel never feels drawn-out but is highly additive cinema indeed; it's a language all of its own.
"I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle" is no different, but it tries its hardest not to excluded itself from this pile. It fits into all the niches that brings this into the fold. On the surface this comes over as rather unsophisticated and that is exactly what it is. It holds no punches set against its downfalls of low budget production and simpleminded script. Saying this, this does not make for a poor, dull and unoriginal score. Bearing in mind its premise is extremely original and this is its draw and fascination.
A British Norton Commando motorcycle inadvertently becomes the harbinger of death and commands a thirst of a bloodlust that brings laughs from the bottom of the barrel to casually float to the top with the classic British one-liner technique. While not smutty, its sarcasm and target-audience clichés hold up the lowest common denominator and delivers its strength and keeps the stakes deeply pushed into the heart of this quirky little motor with a few nuts & bolts of its own to give this production a slant of personality.
To surpass beyond the pale of barrow-boy antics we see that the pièce de résistance is most definably the art of the cameo. Here we see film and television personalities as Burt Kwouk (1930-2016) "The Return of the Pink Panther" (1975) etc, "Tenko" and Ed Devereaux (1925-2003) "Skippy" plus a unusually cast, but a undeniably surreal highlight, Anthony Daniels "Star Wars (1977) as a trike riding priest to raise an eyebrow of intrigue and surprise.
This is certainly a film of night or day, with such a captivating title as "I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle", it draws you in to entice you to its curiosity. Being what it is, it holds no pretentious misgivings as to what you are getting. You may reach the fork in the road and on seeing this you may, you can, then decide if you were humoured or simply taken for a ride.
It's all been done before; the highest example for this accolade is the winning team of the exceptionally successful English comedy franchise the "Carry On..." films (all Pinewood Studios shot) spanning thirty years (1958-1978). For decades this British tradition of slap-stick, innuendoes, double entendre and low-brow wit regurgitated as it may feel never feels drawn-out but is highly additive cinema indeed; it's a language all of its own.
"I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle" is no different, but it tries its hardest not to excluded itself from this pile. It fits into all the niches that brings this into the fold. On the surface this comes over as rather unsophisticated and that is exactly what it is. It holds no punches set against its downfalls of low budget production and simpleminded script. Saying this, this does not make for a poor, dull and unoriginal score. Bearing in mind its premise is extremely original and this is its draw and fascination.
A British Norton Commando motorcycle inadvertently becomes the harbinger of death and commands a thirst of a bloodlust that brings laughs from the bottom of the barrel to casually float to the top with the classic British one-liner technique. While not smutty, its sarcasm and target-audience clichés hold up the lowest common denominator and delivers its strength and keeps the stakes deeply pushed into the heart of this quirky little motor with a few nuts & bolts of its own to give this production a slant of personality.
To surpass beyond the pale of barrow-boy antics we see that the pièce de résistance is most definably the art of the cameo. Here we see film and television personalities as Burt Kwouk (1930-2016) "The Return of the Pink Panther" (1975) etc, "Tenko" and Ed Devereaux (1925-2003) "Skippy" plus a unusually cast, but a undeniably surreal highlight, Anthony Daniels "Star Wars (1977) as a trike riding priest to raise an eyebrow of intrigue and surprise.
This is certainly a film of night or day, with such a captivating title as "I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle", it draws you in to entice you to its curiosity. Being what it is, it holds no pretentious misgivings as to what you are getting. You may reach the fork in the road and on seeing this you may, you can, then decide if you were humoured or simply taken for a ride.
This was one of the best b-films I've seen for a long time, with humorous references to classic sixties biker/horror films such as Psychomania and The Damned, more than a few hilarious one liners, and Neil Morrisey before he was famous. And anyone who has actually owned and ridden a Norton like the star of the film, will know exactly where the writers are coming from. Rent it now - highly recommended for an evenings dvd entertainment.
A trouble-making biker gang murders some occultists, apparently just for the Hell of it. But the demon that the occultists were summoning enters a damaged Norton Commando motorcycle, which at some point later enters into the possession of a young chap named Noddy (Neil Morrissey, 'Men Behaving Badly'). Soon, it has revealed its true colours: yes, it really does suck blood (you have to see this to believe it), and hates the sunlight! Noddy teams up with a heroic priest (Anthony "C-3PO" Daniels, of all people) to exorcise the demon.
Although this goes on a bit longer than any B movie really should (at an hour and 46 minutes), "I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle" provides outrageous fun as long as the prospective viewer isn't too demanding. It's not for people who ordinarily dislike comedy with their horror, but others will appreciate the fact that it adopts a heavy tongue-in-cheek attitude. It's often quite amusing, especially when the bike gives itself a demonic "makeover". It claims a reasonable amount of victims, in enjoyably gory fashion, and can even scale walls.
The performances are all quite enjoyable. Morrissey is an amiable (if somewhat oblivious at first) lead. Amanda Noar (the real-life Mrs. Morrissey at the time) is an appealing, sexy leading lady. Michael Elphick ("The Element of Crime") is a real hoot as an investigating detective. Daniels likewise tickled this viewers' funny bone. Andrew Powell (as bike gang leader Roach), George Rossi (as his associate Chopper), and the briefly seen Daniel Peacock ("Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves") comprise a good supporting cast. However, if you've heard that Burt "Cato" Kwouk is in this, be advised that his (non-speaking) cameo amounts to very little. (He *does*, however, have a rather unfortunate name that elicits a cheap laugh.)
This little flick is a good candidate for a cult favourite, and it just goes to show that the Brits can pull off this kind of self-aware schlock just as neatly as anyone. It may reek of a minimal budget, but that only adds to the good vibes for any B movie lover.
Seven out of 10.
Although this goes on a bit longer than any B movie really should (at an hour and 46 minutes), "I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle" provides outrageous fun as long as the prospective viewer isn't too demanding. It's not for people who ordinarily dislike comedy with their horror, but others will appreciate the fact that it adopts a heavy tongue-in-cheek attitude. It's often quite amusing, especially when the bike gives itself a demonic "makeover". It claims a reasonable amount of victims, in enjoyably gory fashion, and can even scale walls.
The performances are all quite enjoyable. Morrissey is an amiable (if somewhat oblivious at first) lead. Amanda Noar (the real-life Mrs. Morrissey at the time) is an appealing, sexy leading lady. Michael Elphick ("The Element of Crime") is a real hoot as an investigating detective. Daniels likewise tickled this viewers' funny bone. Andrew Powell (as bike gang leader Roach), George Rossi (as his associate Chopper), and the briefly seen Daniel Peacock ("Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves") comprise a good supporting cast. However, if you've heard that Burt "Cato" Kwouk is in this, be advised that his (non-speaking) cameo amounts to very little. (He *does*, however, have a rather unfortunate name that elicits a cheap laugh.)
This little flick is a good candidate for a cult favourite, and it just goes to show that the Brits can pull off this kind of self-aware schlock just as neatly as anyone. It may reek of a minimal budget, but that only adds to the good vibes for any B movie lover.
Seven out of 10.
British horror comedy featuring a bunch of familiar faces from British TV of the time about a vampire motorcycle. A 1970's Norton to be precise. Certainly original, this is a decent romp with laughs plus plenty of gore. There is a gross scene involving a talking turd which then jumps down our hero's throat! And there's also an exorcism featuring an eccentric priest. Non Brits may at times struggle with the humour or slang. It is a good, fun movie but at times is a tad too silly and at over 100 minutes perhaps could have benefited from losing about 10 minutes.
Brummie motorbike courier Noddy (Neil Morrissey) buys himself a classic Norton Commando, unaware that his new ride is possessed by a demon and requires blood for fuel. With the help of a garlic-breathed police detective (Michael Elphick) and a biker priest (Anthony Daniels), Noddy tries to stop the evil machine's reign of terror.
A man behaving badly, Private Schulz and C3PO versus a motorbike: this loopy British comedy horror looks cheap and the humour is uneven, but it is all so delightfully daft that it's hard to hate on it too much. Similar in tone to early Peter Jackson movies (but nowhere near as full throttle, mind you), I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle combines low-brow comedy with oodles of gore, making it the perfect accompaniment to a couple of beers (or whatever you prefer to smoke).
The craziness includes a talking turd in a toilet (played by Daniel Peacock), a sword fight in a pub, an ex-Grange Hill student (Paula Ann Bland) in a nurse's uniform being cut in half, the riderless Norton decapitating a gang of Hell's Angels, a traffic warden getting her comeuppance, and Burt Kwouk as a Chinese Takeaway owner called Fu King. All that and a healthy serving of cheesy splatter makes the film worth a go, even if we are presented with the genuinely horrific sight of Morrissey's arse rising from the crapper.
A man behaving badly, Private Schulz and C3PO versus a motorbike: this loopy British comedy horror looks cheap and the humour is uneven, but it is all so delightfully daft that it's hard to hate on it too much. Similar in tone to early Peter Jackson movies (but nowhere near as full throttle, mind you), I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle combines low-brow comedy with oodles of gore, making it the perfect accompaniment to a couple of beers (or whatever you prefer to smoke).
The craziness includes a talking turd in a toilet (played by Daniel Peacock), a sword fight in a pub, an ex-Grange Hill student (Paula Ann Bland) in a nurse's uniform being cut in half, the riderless Norton decapitating a gang of Hell's Angels, a traffic warden getting her comeuppance, and Burt Kwouk as a Chinese Takeaway owner called Fu King. All that and a healthy serving of cheesy splatter makes the film worth a go, even if we are presented with the genuinely horrific sight of Morrissey's arse rising from the crapper.
Did you know
- TriviaOnly one set was built for this film. The bulk of this movie was shot on existing practical locations.
- GoofsWhen Kim (Amanda Noar) brings the cups of tea out to the workshop after Noddy and Buzzer unload the bike from the van, she calls Noddy "Neil" by mistake - Neil Morrissey being the actor's name. He was also Amanda Noar's husband at the time.
- ConnectionsFeatured in The James Whale Radio Show: Horror (1989)
- SoundtracksAre You Ready Yet
Written and Performed by Dean Friedman
Details
- Release date
- Country of origin
- Language
- Also known as
- Iron Thunder
- Filming locations
- 1 Sycamore Road, Smethwick, West Midlands, England, UK(Noddy's and Kim's house)
- Production company
- See more company credits at IMDbPro
Box office
- Budget
- £320,000 (estimated)
- Runtime
- 1h 41m(101 min)
- Color
- Aspect ratio
- 1.85 : 1
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