Mark Hadlow credited as playing...
Heidi the Hippo • Barry the Bulldog • Robert the hedgehog
- Trevor: All right, you fat slag! Move your ass!
- Heidi: How dare you speak to me like that! You horrible, spiteful little rat!
- Trevor: I've heard better singing from a mongoose with throat cancer!
- Heidi: I won't stand for this treatment any longer. I'm an artiste. I demand respect.
- Trevor: Artiste, that's a good one.
- Heidi: That's it! I've had enough! I'm going straight to Bletch
- [runs off to Bletch's office]
- Trevor: You do that, darling!
- Heidi: [Heidi destroys the "Garden of Love" set due to her overeating and clumsiness] It wasn't my fault!
- Sebastian: You've been overeating again!
- Heidi: [lying] No I haven't.
- [Sebastian picks up cake wedge]
- Sebastian: There is Black Forest Cherry Cake in your cleavage.
- Heidi: [sheepishly] Oh. How did that get there?
- Sebastian: You know what chocolate does to your system.
- Heidi: [protesting] It was only a small wedge.
- Sebastian: [angrily] Your contract specifically states you are forbidden to eat gateaux on the day of a performance.
- Heidi: I was depressed.
- Sebastian: [livid] You're depressed? We're going out live in three hours, for God's sake!
- Heidi: Don't speak to me like that!
- [throws Sebastian off her]
- Heidi: You don't understand! None of you understand! Bletch! Bletch!
- [runs off to Bletch's office]
- Sebastian: [sadly] Suddenly, I feel very, very old.
- [behind him, a patio collapses]
- Bletch: [Heading to the golf course] Hey Barry, how's your handicap?
- Barry the Bulldog: She's at home boss. Baking a cake.
- [All laugh]
- [last lines]
- Arthur the worm: Miss Heidi. I know you're a real star and all that. But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to dob you in.
- Heidi: Could you do one last thing Arthur?
- Arthur the worm: Anything, Miss Heidi.
- Heidi: Play the Garden of Love.
- Heidi: [as Bletch prepares himself a glass of champagne, Heidi appears in his office] Hello, Bletch.
- [turns on lamp]
- Bletch: Heidi, what the hell are you doing here?
- Heidi: Congratulations. The show was a wonderful success.
- Bletch: What do you want?
- Heidi: Our encounter this afternoon was so brief! I thought you might like a second helping.
- [takes her dress off]
- Bletch: Heidi! For Christ's sake, put your dress back on!
- Heidi: Come and sit next to me.
- Bletch: If it's too hot for you, I can turn on the air conditioning!
- Heidi: I'm hot Bletch, but not the way you think.
- [wiggles her body on couch, Bletch looks away in disgust]
- Heidi: You're not feeling shy, are you Bletch?
- [takes her bras off and approaches Bletch]
- Heidi: Do you remember that time in Paris? We didn't leave the hotel for three whole days!
- Bletch: I remember all right. I had to go to the hospital with severe chafing.
- Heidi: Kiss me, Bletch.
- [Bletch slaps her away from him]
- Bletch: Get away from me, you shuddering, mound of blubber! Have you any idea how revolting you look?
- Heidi: [shocked] Bletch! No!
- Bletch: You disgust me! Look at you! You're old and you're fat, and you smell... BAD!
- Heidi: No!
- [collapses at the door]
- Bletch: I was going to wait till after the show, but I might as well tell you now. You through with the Feebles! I don't need you! I've got a syndicated series... and I'm grooming Samantha to be the star.
- Heidi: [heartbroken] No.
- Bletch: I hope you enjoyed tonight. That was your last performance!
- [throws Heidi's dress in her face]
- Bletch: Now get out of here!
- [Heidi runs out of the office in tears]