Doris Roberts credited as playing...
Frances Smith
- Frances: [looking at Ruby Sue surprised] Oh my gosh, her eyes aren't crossed anymore.
- Eddie: That somethin' ain't it? She falls down a well, her eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back to normal. I don't know.
- [laughs]
- Eddie: And this here's our pride and joy Snots.
- [Snots blusters a sneeze]
- Clark: Pretty name Ed.
- Eddie: [Snots puts his snotty nose on Rusty, and he makes a disgusted face] Yeah we named him that because he's got this sinus condition. Snots you roll over and let uncle Clark scratch your belly. You ain't never seen a set on a dog like this one's got, Clark.
- [Ellen looks on, intently]
- Audrey: [Peeling a carrot] Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?
- Ellen: Audrey!
- Audrey: Well can we at least forbid them to answer the phone? Alexander called this morning and grandpa Clark told him... I couldn't come to the phone 'cause I was going to the bathroom.
- Ellen: We're all making sacrifices, Audrey.
- Audrey: Everybody? Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is, mom?
- Ellen: [Grabs a box of matches off the fridge] Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic.
- Audrey: I have nightmares about what he does in his bed alone when I'm not lying right next to him.
- Ellen: Well, I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.
- [Lights up a cigarette to smoke and Frances calls out from the next room]
- Frances: Ellen, are you smoking again?
- [Ellen puts out the cigarette]
- Ellen: No!
- [Grabs a cabbage and chops it in half]