Paul Bartel credited as playing...
Dr. Mo Van De Kamp
- Clare Lipkin: Well, it's finally over. Sidney Lipkin Companies have completed their much awaited merger with Mother Earth, Inc. They give the sagging maggot industry an instantaneous boost in the arm.
- Dr. Van Kamp: What a horrid, fabulous thing to say.
- Clare Lipkin: [referring to herself] Thirty-five years old and still bulimic.
- Dr. Van Kamp: Thirty-five?
- Dr. Van Kamp: I thought Sidney looked smashing in that little Turnbull and Asser chemise. Did you pick that out or was it one of the maids?
- Clare Lipkin: Well, they tried like hell to get the stain out; but, couldn't quite do it. Did you see the lipstick on his collar?
- Dr. Van Kamp: At least they got it off of his fly.
- [first lines]
- Clare Lipkin: On earth, as it is in heaven, Give us this day, our daily bread, And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those that trespass against us, Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, For thine is the Kingdom and the power...
- Zandra: Mother, how much longer do we have to have Daddy at the table?
- Clare Lipkin: And the glory...
- Dr. Van Kamp: It is pushing it, Clare. Sidney's been dead a week already.
- Clare Lipkin: For *ever*. Amen.
- Dr. Van Kamp, Zandra, Lisabeth Hepburn-Saravian: Amen.
- Lisabeth Hepburn-Saravian: Now, leave Clare alone.
- Clare Lipkin: It's so hard to let go. To say goodbye.
- Dr. Van Kamp: I respect Peter Hepburn. I respect his vision. I respect his courage to continue to do the kind of work he knows will never bring him the big money.
- To-Bel: But, eh, but, we live so well? He spends *and* he knows Shirley MacLaine.
- Dr. Van Kamp: The money's just the last scraps of a niggardly inheritance. His mother was a suspicious woman. She left them what I call a 'distrust' fund.
- Dr. Van Kamp: Zandra, come with me to Africa.
- Zandra: What?
- Dr. Van Kamp: I said come - as my assistant - on the Hunger project.
- Zandra: What are you saying?
- Dr. Van Kamp: You'd have to ask your mother's permission, of course.
- Zandra: Oh, she'd say yes! I know she would!
- Dr. Van Kamp: There'll be disease, heat, swollen bellies, shriveled souls, and a handful of people like us. We'll come back older, sadder, and wiser; but, we'll have the joy of knowing that we've sacrificed, selflessly. No one can ever take that away from us. Ever.
- Zandra: Thank you, Mo. I feel myself changing already. I know now - my whole life has been a preparation for this journey.
- Dr. Van Kamp: Oh, and Zandra, we'll probably have to share a small tent for the first six months or so. I know you won't mind.
- [Zandra smiles]
- Dr. Van Kamp: Look, I don't care who you talk to, when you get a bunch of rich, fat people, who are determined to get thin, at any price, some of them are going to die. It's just - a rule of thumb.