Sinbad of the Seven Seas

An awesomely ripped Lou Ferrigno headlines here as the eponymous hero in this visually lavish fantasy flick brought to us by the ever reliable Enzo G.Castellari.

Sinbad's mission is to brave numerous perils in order to rescue a beautiful princess from the clutches of an evil wizard named Jaffar who has taken over the kingdom of Basra by dark magical means.

Also along for the adventure are Sinbad's crew who are comprised of a mighty viking, a philosophical samurai warrior, a dashing prince who is betrothed to the captive princess, a bald chef and a dwarf named Poochi(!) Along the way this brave band of heroes find themselves up against undead armies, rock monsters, seductive Amazonians and a slimy ogre plus in the finale, big Lou comes up against his own clone!!!

Approach this in the right frame of mind and you should have a good time, after all it's entirely harmless fun in much the same vein as films such as Labyrinth etc.

Certainly the film does have far higher production values than most Italian films of the eighties with some beautifully sumptuous sets and costumes on display throughout. Added to this there's a good assemble of B-Movie stars; Big Lou, Romano Puppo (sadly relegated to a very minor role) and of course the ever wonderful John Steiner who is clearly having a ball with his material here as the delightfully hissable Jaffar.

Unfortunately, there are a number of factors which do seriously drag the film down however. For instance, a few of the characters (most notably Lou) have been entirely overdubbed with irritating voice overs - quite why this was the case, I have no idea.

By far the most damning criticism I have for the film though is the intrusive and annoying narrative that accompanies (and incessantly interjects upon!) the proceedings throughout. You see, the basis for the film is that everything taking place on screen is actually a bedtime story being read to a little girl by her mother. And wouldn't you know it - the mother's voice is yet another infuriating overdub!!!

Still, to be fair and looking past these failings, this is actually a fairly enjoyable watch. If you like a spot of swashbuckling fantasy and enjoy films such as The Princess Bride and the aforementioned Labyrinth then this may well be right up your street.

This film begins with a mother reading a bedtime story to her young daughter about the adventures of a brave sailor named "Sinbad" (played by Lou Ferrigno). As the story goes, Sinbad and his shipmates are bringing "Prince Ali" (Roland Wybenga) to Basra so that he can marry "Princess Alina" (Alessandra Martines). However, just before they get there the evil sorcerer "Jaffar" (John Steiner) decides to overthrow the "Caliph of Basra" (Donald Hodson) by casting an evil spell which creates chaos and destruction upon the city thereby leaving him in total control. To that extent, upon their arrival there Sinbad and his crew are barely able to escape with their lives and upon doing so they immediately set sail in a effort to recover the four sacred gems of Basra which they will need to help rectify the situation. Now rather than reveal any more. I will just say that this film had a good storyline but it was completely ruined by the simplistic format, incompetent direction, imbecilic script, and some really horrendous acting. Likewise, having Lou Ferrigno so badly miscast in the lead role certainly didn't help matters. Admittedly, it did have several beautiful actresses like Melonee Rodgers (as the Amazon Queen "Farida"), Stefania Girolami ("Kyra"), Teagan Clive ("Soukra") and the aforementioned Alessandra Martines. Yet despite that fact it wasn't enough to significantly affect the overall picture. It was just that bad.

One of my favorite comedies, although it's not supposed to be one. So incredibly bad, it's amazing! Some of the stupidest dialogue ever, and some ridiculous fight scenes. Lou Ferrigno is a joy to watch, especially his hilarious facial expressions. Watch this movie with a bunch of friends, but do not drink milk while doing so, otherwise it'll come spewing out of your nose!

Made in Spain with no sound equipment under a director who rewrote it as he filmed it, shelved for years due to being unusable, then one day roughly edited, badly dubbed, and poorly scored in an attempt to get something saleable and here we are.

Ever seen Sinbad portrayed as a heavily muscled superman in sparkly purple disco tights? Ever seen Jaffar portrayed as a cackling English villain in cahoots with a busty blonde in a scandalous leather one piece? Well now you can!

There's monsters, fighting, sexy ladies, animated effects, leather clad henchmen, slo-mo running, a 'Poochie the Dwarf' comic-relief who's neither funny nor a dwarf then disappears midway through the movie, more fighting, constant narration explaining what's going on, laughably poor music, magical zombie horses, and that guy off the hulk, I mean what's not to like, people!?

So the film would lead you to believe. Mr. Poe's actual story bears little to no similarities to this tale, but the fact that it opens with the claim that it is based on his story is just part of the inane fun that is SINBAD OF THE SEVEN SEAS! This is a film so poorly written, acted, directed, and conceived, with horrible dubbing that it takes on an air of the absurd. If you are not laughing at the film at some point, you must not have a good sense of humor. Fun fact, the short story Edgar Allen Poe actually wrote, "The Thousand and Second Tale of Scheherazade," is an amusing story(far better than this movie) in which Scheherazade tells of Sinbad's last adventure in which real things from an outsiders perspective are described, but not believed by the King.

The Story: Sinbad returns home to find that the evil Jaffar has rested control of the kingdom with his sorcery and brought an age of darkness. Sinbad and his intrepid crew must find the four magic gems that will return peace to the land and save the princess.

Three out of ten stars for the film(I've sadly seen worse) and nine out of ten for unintentional humor.