Michael Chiklis credited as playing...
John Belushi
- John Belushi: [surprised] Who are you anyway?
- Angel Velasquez: I'm your guardian angel.
- John Belushi: My guardian angel? Well you sure fucked up...
- Angel Velasquez: Yeah, well look, man. Nobody's perfect, you know? You gotta start somewhere.
- Angel Velasquez: Hey, I seen your movies, man.
- John Belushi: [excited] Oh yeah? Which one?
- Angel Velasquez: The one where you played a coke addict. You's a funny guy.
- John Belushi: [unamused] Oh thanks. Thanks a lot.
- Angel Velasquez: But you died in the end... all fucked up.
- John Belushi: Hey, wait a minute... who are you?
- Angel Velasquez: My friends call me Angel.
- Arnie Fromson: You can't do this. You can't abuse yourself.
- John Belushi: LOOK, I don't pay you to be my best friend. I don't ask you what you do after six o'clock, DON'T ASK ME! NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO!
- Arnie Fromson: You can't tell me what to do with you either. I'm not talking about business now, John. I'm talking about your life.
- John Belushi: I'm only 33 years old. I just had my birthday.
- Angel Velasquez: That's right. And you are officially deceased.
- John Belushi: Why am I dead?
- Angel Velasquez: 'Cause you're stupid. Next question.
- John Belushi: Where are we going?
- Angel Velasquez: We're going for a ride, Hemo.
- Bob Woodward: Why didn't you go home, John? Why did you kill yourself?
- John Belushi: Vietnam, man!
- Bob Woodward: You never served.
- John Belushi: Society fucked me over, like Lenny Bruce!
- Bob Woodward: Lenny Bruce? John, you were a living legend! Your friend Dan Ayrkoyd called you "America's guest". Come on, what was the real reason?
- John Belushi: I have no idea!
- Bob Woodward: What was it? Why did you do it?
- John Belushi: BECAUSE I NEEDED IT! BECAUSE IT'S MINE!
- Bob Woodward: John? John! John... Answer me, John. John! Why didn't you ever want to go home? What was so painful, that you couldn't even close your eyes at night without drugs?
- John Belushi: I had an unhappy childhood!
- Bob Woodward: Oh, come on, John. We all had an unhappy childhood.
- John Belushi: Vietnam? Agent Orange?
- Bob Woodward: You didn't go.
- John Belushi: Society fucked me over, like Lenny Bruce!
- Bob Woodward: Like Lenny Bruce? You were a living legend, John! Your friend Aykroyd called you "America's guest". Everybody loved you!
- John Belushi: Then I give up!
- Bob Woodward: Oh. John, why did you shove a needle into your arm, day after...
- John Belushi: BECAUSE I NEED IT! BECAUSE IT'S MINE! Cold bastard.
- [pause, sweaty and breathing heavily]
- John Belushi: So you're just gonna sit there and watch me die, is that it?
- John Belushi: Hey, that's Arnie! That's my manager, Arnie Fromson! And he's with Woodward... Bob fucking Woodward! I can't believe it! I've always wanted to meet that guy! Hey, Arnie! Arnie! Hey, Arnie! Arnie! What's Arnie talking to Bob Woodward? I can't believe it, Bob Woodward! I used to do that guy!
- Angel Velasquez: And now he's doing you.
- John Belushi: What do you mean?
- Angel Velasquez: He's gonna be your biographer.
- John Belushi: My biographer? Bob Woodward? I'll go down in history!
- Angel Velasquez: Yeah! He's gonna do for your what he did for Nixon.
- [pause]
- John Belushi: Nixon?
- Angel Velasquez: He's gonna call the book "Wired". He's gonna trash your good name, Hemo, from here to...
- John Belushi: I'm fucked.
- [Judy kisses John all over his face as he lies buried up to his neck in sand]
- John Belushi: The lips! You forgot the lips! Kiss these lips! Please, I'll even marry you!
- Judy Belushi: What did you say?
- John Belushi: I don't know, I never said that before.
- Judy Belushi: Do you mean it?
- John Belushi: Why don't you come closer and I'll show you...