Mark Harmon credited as playing...
Taylor Worth
- Taylor Worth: There wouldn't be great sex if we didn't have awful sex - awful, mechanical, slightly painful, unsatisfying sex.
- [last lines]
- Celebrity Auctioneer: Forty-two hundred, okay, going once, going twice...
- Veronica Briskow: Not so fast, David. Forty-two hundred dollars, a fishing cabin and a public proclamation of what a creep he is.
- Taylor Worth: I'm a creep. I'm a bastard!
- Eleanor Larimore: He's a great lay.
- Erin Cooper: I knew it!
- Taylor Worth: I don't deserve you, I know that, but I can't imagine not loving you. You're bold, you're splendid, you're intriguing, you're a whole lot of things I never knew matter. Veronica, Veronica, save me, I beg you, marry me.
- Celebrity Auctioneer: Is that all?
- Taylor Worth: And a Scrabble rematch.
- Veronica Briskow: Unlimited Mouse Olympics?
- Taylor Worth: I'll even become a meteorologist.
- Veronica Briskow: Then, kiss me!
- Celebrity Auctioneer: Sold for forty-two hundred dollars, a fishing cabin and a public proclamation of what a creep he is, a Scrabble rematch, unlimited Mouse Olympics, he'll become a meteorologist and a kiss!
- Veronica Briskow: [as she gets carried off in Taylor's arms, quips at viewer:] Piece of cake!
- Taylor Worth: Guys, a beautiful woman is one of the loneliest creatures on the face of the earth. All I need is an opening, a ticket of admission.
- Taylor Worth: I can't touch her because if I touch her, I'll jump her. And if I jump her, I'll lose her. Every man wants to jump her. So I've got to be different.
- Taylor Worth: Hey, don't get me wrong. I don't want to grow old alone. I love kids. I certainly love women, but I'm no Casanova.
- Taylor Worth: [TV personality gets female attention in droves] Ladies' day at the races. I'm a happy guy.
- Taylor Worth: [to Eleanor, in shoe store] It really doesn't matter. Doesn't matter which shoe you choose, any shoe would look good at the end of your leg.