Jeff Daniels credited as playing...
Dr. Ross Jennings
- Delbert McClintock: Spiders would find your barn a tad breazy this time of year. In that respect, spiders are a bit like you and me. No, I frankly doubt there are any spiders in your barn.
- Dr. Ross Jennings: Well, I frankly know there is Delbert. I saw a web! There is a web in my barn!
- Delbert McClintock: ...A web would indicate an arachnoid presence.
- [noticing the dead spider Lloyd took out of the cereal box]
- Milt Briggs: What could have killed it?
- Dr. Ross Jennings: The shock of seeing Lloyd?
- Dr. Ross Jennings: Chris, I'm scared to death.
- Collins: Yeah, we all are, but our brains secrete a neurotransmitter that enables us to deal with them.
- Dr. Ross Jennings: I don't think I have that particular neurotransmitter.
- Dr. Ross Jennings: In my opinion...
- Margaret Hollins: In my opinion, Dr. Metcalf isn't aware of the difference between his ass and a hole in the ground
- Dr. Ross Jennings: [Dr. Ross Jennings has just informed his wife that Dr. Sam Metcalf has postponed his retirement, and that he is seeing his only patient Tomorrow]
- Dr. Ross Jennings: We're gonna be fine, we'll be alright, just like you said.
- Molly Jennings: With ONE patient?
- Dr. Ross Jennings: Well, I mean, you know? Maybe I'll get lucky and all of her systems will be ravaged by disease. Ya know, kinda like having seven patients in one.
- [scene changes to Dr. Jennings surgery where he has just completed his examination of Margaret Hollins]
- Dr. Ross Jennings: Fit as a fiddle, not a damn thing wrong with ya.
- Margaret Hollins: Dr. Jennings, I'm sorry.
- Dr. Ross Jennings: Oh, sorry? What do ya mean you're sorry?
- Dr. Ross Jennings: [under his breath] You think I was hoping you were ravaged by disease?
- Dr. Ross Jennings: The itsy-bitsy spider crawled up the water spout; down came the rain and washed the spider out.
- Molly Jennings: What's wrong?
- Dr. Ross Jennings: Metcalf - he's having a seizure.
- Molly Jennings: Thank God you didn't examine him this morning.
- Molly Jennings: I'm sure you knew exactly what you were doing when you took Margaret off those pills.
- Dr. Ross Jennings: Like I knew what I was doing when I chose this town... with the country doctor from hell!
- Dr. Ross Jennings: What do you wanna bet they're gonna go chase fireflies?
- Bunny: Wanna blow up a bullfrog?
- Shelley: OK.
- Dr. Ross Jennings: Come on, let's go find that spider. And let's find your mom to take care of that spider. Honey, we're in the living room. We need you to kill a spider.
- Dr. Ross Jennings: Milt, why don't you cover the living room.
- [sighs]
- Dr. Ross Jennings: Chris, why don't you check out back. And uh Lloyd, take the kitchen. And I'll just uh, I'll oversee the uh, I'll just coordinate the uh, I'll just stay right here.
- Dr. Ross Jennings: Easy, easy with that. Don't want to agitate the sediments. Chateau Margaux, 127 bucks a bottle.
- Mover: Tasty, huh?
- Dr. Ross Jennings: At that price, who can afford to drink it?
- Dr. Ross Jennings: [Whilst looking for a spider specimen, one jumps out from behind a painting on the wall] Is that one of them?
- Collins: I'd say it's a damn fine suspect!