Death Spa

Witch Bitch… For the (alternative) title alone this movie should be considered a "classic" in the industry of silly-n-cheesy 80's horror! "Death Spa" delivers everything you can derive from the title and cool DVD-cover (mine actually displays a girl's bare ass): rancid sleaze, a retarded plot and loads of gooey make-up effects. Recent widower Michael Evans runs the fancy and hi-tech Starbody Health Spa, where all the gym devices are computer-driven and sexy young girls become a member if only to get close to hunky Michael. Business is great until peculiar 'accidents' begin to take place. Michael's girlfriend Laura is the first victim when she gets heavily burned after using the spa. The next incidents are even worse, resulting in the death of several guests. Michael suspects his brother-in-law to sabotage the place, as he never got over his sister's tragic suicide, but it's more likely that Catherine's vengeful spirit returned from the grave herself. "Death Spa" is wacky nonsense, completely without tension or atmosphere, but the gory murders are tremendously fun to watch! Some of the cheese-highlights include a girl literally blown to pieces by an exploding mirror and another hottie melts down to the bones! An elderly guy (a cop investigating the case) even has his throat bitten open by a deep-frozen fish!!! How many times have you seen that before? Everything in this gym center is bewitched, even the cocktail blender and the bathroom tiles. The dialogs & acting performances are horrible, the typical 80's music is atrocious and all the characters are so dumb they really deserve to die. Ken Foree ('Dawn of the Dead') briefly appears as the gym center's caretaker, but his share in the plot is hardly worth mentioning. "Death Spa" is insignificant and brainless 80's trash, and I enjoyed it A LOT!

Death Spa (1989)

*** (out of 4)

Michael (William Bumiller) runs a health club that's the biggest thing in the city thanks to new technology that allows a computer system to run things. However, things take a dark turn when a couple members are severely injured and after more deaths happen it appears there's something much darker at play.

If you rented videos back in the 80s or 90s then I'm sure you stumbled across this film in the horror section at some point. I must have passed the video by countless times, picked it up a few times but I never left the store with it. After all, it's a horror movie set in a health club, how good could that be? Now that I've finally caught up with the picture I can't help but be disappointed in myself for not giving it a shot back in the day.

Look, if you're wanting high art or some sort of hard-hitting drama then you're not going to find it here. DEATH SPA is basically a low-budget slasher movie that appears to have been directed by someone who knew what the people watching a film like this wanted to see. Director Michael Fischa and writers James Bartruff and Mitch Paradise all do a wonderful job because what you've basically got here are a bunch of gory murders and a bunch of hot ladies taking their clothes off. These are staples of the VHS-era and this film offers plenty of both.

I really liked the death scenes in the film as they were not only creative but we also got some extremely gory moments. There are several highlights among the death scenes but there's one where a woman gets some sort of acid on her and just gets eaten away. As for the nudity, yeah, there's the required shower sequence but with a twist. DEATH SPA certainly isn't a masterpiece and it really would have benefited by being ten-minutes shorter but at the same time this is exactly what a film should be like if it wants to be in that low-budget horror field.

****SPOILERS**** Extremely gory movie about a health spa, The Starbody,haunted by the owners Michael Evens, William Bumiller, wife Catherine, Shari Shattuck, with some of the most gut turning scenes even put on film.

The movie starts out with what at first seems like a number of tragic accidents where Michael's girlfriend Laura,Brenda Bakke, gets blinded by what seems like a defective steam room. Later one of the costumers at the spa Darla, Chelsea Field, almost gets killed when the diving board that she was on gave way and broke. When another spa member Robert, Hank Cheyne,is torn to pieces working out on one of the exercise machines Michael as well as the police begin to suspect David, Merritt Butrich, who works in the control room which controls the exercise equipment in what's been happening to the people at the spa.

It turns out that David holds his ex-brother in-law Michael responsible for his sisters death. Catherine committed suicide by dousing herself with gasoline and setting herself on fire because she became crippled giving birth to Michael's child. Michael refused to let Catherine have an abortion which David feels would have prevented her from becoming crippled and thus driving her to kill herself. The movie moves to it's final and bloody conclusion with an horrific ending that ends up killing almost everyone in the spa.

Over-the-top special effects back then, 1987, that are as good as they are in any horror or slasher movie made now makes "Death Spa" rank right up there with slasher movies like "Halloween" made back in the 1970's and 80's. Some of the scenes in the movie were really terrifying as well as eye-popping and there was a number of times when I said to myself watching the movie "How did they do that?"

The plot of "Death Spa" was fairly routine with Catherine's spirit taking over her brother David's body and doing in her husband Michael's business, the health spa, and his friends. Especially Michael's girlfriend Laura who Catherine felt that Michael had an affair with while she was still alive. It's the really unbelievable special effects that makes the movie worth watching.

I have been waiting to find a copy of this movie since I saw a preview for it about 15 years ago. Finally, a few weeks ago I got a copy of the uncut version and I laughed my way through most of this movie. OK, most of the dialogue in this movie is just bad. Not even one of my personal favorite actors (Ken Foree) could save this bad script writing. But hey, this is a movie that takes place in a gym most of the time. How good could the dialogue be? The story line is decent enough to keep interest. Although, things do start to crumble near the end of the movie. But hey, that's OK because the end is the best part of the movie. And I can't forget the gore. This movie is rather graphically violent and I think that's where most of the laughs come in. Mainly, at times the gore takes you by surprise with certain scenes like peoples hands blowing to pieces or throats be impaled through. Yes, this movie is a lot of good fun and if you can stand bad dialogue and extremely bad eights music check it out, if you can find a copy.

Wow - this movie is fun and bad all at the same time. I'm amazed at how many people rent "horror" movies expecting them to actually be good - good in a sense of a strong story, decent plot, top notch acting and true scary moments - don't they realize that for every truly good horror film (and they are rare) there are fifty bad ones? And out of those fifty bad ones, there are maybe ten that rise to a new level - ones that are so bad that they are entertaining for all the wrong reasons - ridiculous script, bad acting, lame music and horrible directing. DEATH SPA is one of those - they rip-off many other movies including CARRIE, The EXORCIST and actually another murder spree in a gym movie, KILLER WORKOUT. Now Killer Workout is actually more fun and more lame but Death Spa has some hilarious moments. DEfinitely worth checking out for you fans of cheesy and laughable horror movies.