Darren E. Burrows credited as playing...
Milton Hackett
- Milton Hackett: Looks like somebody lost their laundry.
- Lenora Frigid: Hello Cry-Baby. You've scorched me, man.
- Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Later, Lenora.
- Lenora Frigid: But Cry-baby, I need a date for tonight's Jukebox Jamboree.
- Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Well, I'm solo, sugar.
- Lenora Frigid: [offering to show her breasts] Wanna see these gunboats? I give, Cry-baby. I give bare second on the first date.
- Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Use your mentality and cool down!
- Wanda: Yeah, Lenora, your bosoms ain't nothin'!
- Hatchet-Face: Better watch it, bozo! You might catch a cold!
- Pepper: My brother wouldn't touch your titties with a ten-foot pole. He likes his women bad, Lenora, not cheap!
- [Allison and The Whiffles finish singing "Mr. Sandman"... Uncle Belvidere whisks Allison down a rope]
- Milton Hackett: Allison Vernon-Williams, the decision is yours...
- Uncle Belvedere Rickettes: You sang with the squares, now sing with the drape!
- [everyone cheers]
- Baldwin: We'll get married and live in Suburbia. I love you Allison
- Allison: I don't want to hurt you Baldwin.
- Lenora Frigid: [snatches toy baby away from little girl] I had my baby. Isn't he cute? I'm a square now. Wave to Allison.
- Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: You may be a square Lenora, but you're still a tramp.
- [Mrs. Vernon-Williams turns to look at Allison]
- Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Allison, pick the man who loves you the most.
- Allison: [singing] Please, Mr. Jailer, Won't you let my man go free? Please, Mr. Jailer, Won't you let my man go free? He don't belong in prison, Though he's guilty as can be, But the only crime he's guilty of, Is simply loving me...
- Cry-Baby: [singing] High school hell cats.
- Pepper, Hatchet Face, Milton Hackett, Allison, Wanda: [singing] On our own.
- Cry-Baby: [singing] High school hell cats.
- Pepper, Hatchet Face, Milton Hackett, Allison, Wanda: [singing] Almost grown.
- Cry-Baby: [singing] Come on pick a fight, we wish you would. I love being bad cause it sure feels good. Oh-oh!
- Uncle Belvedere Rickettes: Today's a special day for me and your grandmother. We've been together ten whole years.
- Ramona Rickettes: I'm just so proud of all my drape children! Oh Wanda, you sure is pretty in them tight clothes, all painted up like trash!
- Wanda: I wish you and Belvedere were my parents.
- Ramona Rickettes: Now Milton, boy, you are everything a man should be: you're young, stupid, and... mean!
- Milton Hackett: We're gonna play some cool music for you tonight, Ramona.
- Ramona Rickettes: And Hatchet-face, oh honey! You're just like me. Now, you put the T in tough! So hard you could've been eating nails for breakfast! But that's the way a woman's got to be these days.
- Hatchet-Face: I'd kick a square's ass for you in a minute, Mrs. Rickettes!
- Ramona Rickettes: Oh, this is the best gang my grandson could ever have!
- Cry-Baby: [singing] I had my first cigarette before I could walk / And I was strumming this guitar before I could talk, Cause I'm the King.
- Hatchet-Face, Wanda, Pepper, Milton Hackett, Allison: [singing] King Cry Baby.
- Cry-Baby: [singing] Yeah, I'm the King.
- Hatchet-Face, Wanda, Pepper, Milton Hackett, Allison: [singing] King Cry Baby.
- Cry-Baby: [singing] Oh, I'm the King.
- Hatchet-Face, Wanda, Pepper, Milton Hackett, Allison: [singing] King Cry Baby.
- Cry-Baby: [singing] A King Cry Baby with a tear in my eye / If you mess with the King you're gonna cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry.