Empire of the Dark

They used the type of dummies like on later seasons of Married with Children. My brother watched with me and we had a had to pause and rewind due to missing parts from laughing so hard. I teared up and will probably be sore tomorrow. The early parts with the ninja jawas were so funny I'm posting before even finishing the movie. It has been a rough week, and this movie absolutely gave us some much needed time laughing and forgetting the problems of the world. For reference, for me it seemed kinda like a better version of Samurai Cop (I recommend the Rifftrax version). Thank you so much for this film. It was perfect therapy for us.

This movie is something really remarkable. The acting is BAD... And sometimes great. The effects are BAD... And sometimes great! There is so much sincerity and passion in this that it's hard not to get swept up in it. Probably amazing in a theater setting, I still found it incredibly compelling at home by myself. Not for everyone, but I hope the right people will find it.

#264 Empire of the Dark - 1991 (This Film Rates a B- ) This horror film follows buff and mustachioed former police officer turned bounty hunter, Richard Flynn. He attempts to save his girlfriend, Angela, from a brutal satanic cult but she is eventually murdered. He does save a baby upon her dying request. Flash forward to 20 years later, Richard learns that that baby named Terry is his actual son. They navigate a complex plot involving a satanic cult, mutant zombie slaves, ninja assassins that resemble life sized Jawa's and a very personal vendetta. Terry believes his mother (Angela) is still alive and convinces Richard to investigate. The story jumps between Richard's past and present, and he agrees to team up with Terry to rescue Angela from the cult's clutches and battle Claymation Satan himself. Richard is a total b-movie bad ass in his quest to save the day, but it has an all too happy sappy ending. The film's low-budget aesthetic is evident in its sets, special effects, poor script and high school theatrics. The gore and effects are laughable but fun. Its campy charm and over-the-top drama make it highly entertaining and watchable. There wasn't a moment of boredom. While its production values are completely lacking, the film's energy and unintentional humor make it succeed where it shouldn't. Just know what you are getting yourself into and enjoy. This is pretty brilliant in a terrible sort of way plus Richard's mustache is also pretty righteous.

I agree with what other reviewers have said about this incredibly ambitious schlockfest. It really is a testament to one man's desire to be an action hero on par with Schwarzenegger and Stallone (I believe our hero's kill count must rival that in Arnold's "Commando").

Two highlights for me:

The special effects and visuals employ every trick from the pre-CGI book: stop-motion animation, puppetry, forced perspective, matte paintings. The effects are terrible, but you can't help but be impressed with the amount of work put into them. My personal favorites are the photographic stills used for establishing shots.

The score, by the late John Morgan, deserves recognition. It is a rousing affair well-suited for a Saturday afternoon matinee.

A totally insane vanity project that's so earnest you can't help but give the dude mad props for the valiant attempt. Sure he failed on almost every level, but it's such a spectacular failure that it transcends moviemaking into something new. Totally worth watching!