The Final Alliance

I love movies about motorcycle gangs like Mad Max, Stonecold or Beyond the Law / Fixing the Shadow. There is something really evil and scary about motorcycle gangs and it's for sure, that hero always has to walk trough the hell when he fights them. Final Alliance is not as good as Mad Max a Co., but it isn't so bad. It starts with 5 motorcycles and pretty cheap fight scenes, but soon it gets better. There is a lot of explosions, one pretty cool action scene (bikers attack Hasselhoff's farm, but he planted many mines around), funny dialogues and acting. If you expect Schindler's List, you will be disappointed, if you expect funny B actioner, you won't. I missed only some rape scene, but you know, gentleman Mitch Buchanan is on board, so I wasn't surprised, there isn't any.

What we have here is entertainment of the cliched, bad acting variety, enhanced by the apparent sincerity of all those involved. The stranger's revenge story is so familiar, you could use a check list to make certain all the cliches are covered. Then there is the wild card of Felix the Cat, Hasselhoff's pet cougar, which snarls alot at the bad guys. Speaking of the bad guys, John Saxon should have won an Oscar for his Richard Lynch imitation as the albino leader of the "Vipers" motorcycle gang. Now throw in Bo Hopkins as a corrupt Sheriff, and you have the perfect cast for "B" movie predictability. Bar fight, check, female intimidation, check, hero destroys motorcycles, check, explosions, check, originality zero, check. Despite all the above problems, "The Final Alliance" is marvelously entertaining because of it's sincere ineptness, and the second half rivals even Frank Stallone "masterpieces" of "good bad", for shear "off the rails" insanity. - MERK

The back of the box did not lie- "an adventure that mixes justice with revenge for explosive results" -BOOM! I just watched this hidden gem of a movie. Hasselhoff stars as Will Colton, an ex-marine who returns to his hometown in Texas. A gang of weapons dealing biker creeps killed Hasselhoff's family years back and he is back for revenge. He gets help from a local lady who has also been terrorized by these thugs. The gang includes the police chief, played by Bo Hopkins, which gives the movie some redneck credibility to the rural Texas setting. Actually, I would guess that this film is Italian or South African. The dubbing involved is of the 80's Italian style. Also it stars John Saxon, who is in a lot of the Italian action movies of this time. Also, it has an Italian director. One thing is for sure, it was not made in Texas. But anyways, this movie has some very good action sequences, a good cast, and an unintentionally hilarious script. Hasselhoff has some great conversations with his pet cougar that are awesomely cheesy. And John Saxon as the leader of the pack seems kind of embarrassed to be wearing such a lame looking wig, but he puts together a menacing portrayal of creepiness.

There is a some good motorcycle violence, a cougar, a short love scene featuring Jeannie Moore, a load of European synthesizers futile mimicking honkytonk boogie music, and an Albino Motorcycle . If you happen upon this thing, give it a try. This is a lost classic.

Hasselhoff is the hero battling a MC-gang in a small Texas community. He dresses in a ninja suit in the finale showdown (because that is like, so cooool...) and Jeanie Moore gives one of the worst performances in recent memory. Ridiculous piece of trash made in the same mentality as a bunch of war-loving kids with a video camera.

There are movies you love because of how good you think they are, and there are movies SOME people love because of how bad they are. I have to put my two cents in here for this film being so bad it's good. Trust me, it's HORRIBLE. But on certain levels, like on an Ed Wood level, it's great. The plot is half baked and the acting plummets below the level of EVERYONE in Star Wars Phantom Menace. If you happen to be one of those people who doesn't understand why Hasselhoff gets raked over most of his work, then it is very likely you will love this movie. Not to be missed is John Saxon's performance as an albino gang leader. If the producers of this film didn't have their tongues in their cheeks while this film was produced then I say they are masters of schlock. Otherwise, "Final Alliance" rates among the top adolescent wish-fulfillment wet dream films of all time. Hasselhoff and his pet puma- that says it all.