Holidays on the River Yarra

With the best will in the world, I couldn't force myself to continually watch this Yarra Riverful of garbage and I ended up channel surfing. That's how bad it was. I couldn't work up any sympathy for the two main characters, for poor Claudia Karvan struggling mightily to do some "acting", or for any of the production team. When one of our heroes ended his troubles in the Yarra, I felt compelled to cheer that at least the movie was nearly over, and wondered why the reels of this film didn't follow him in. . Possibly the worst Australian "movie" (if that's what it was) that I have seen. Well, almost seen.

It's the river our two teenage boys want to sail on for their ticket out of a restless hot summer where their naivety is abused by a local gang of red necks out to change the world with their right wing views. The gang offer the boys a trip to an African island where white supremacists will rule and gain wealth. The only catch is that they need to come up with $500 to join the boat load of ignorant bastards. The film chronicles their hopeless search for the money and their final desperate act to be part of the dreams. The boys know no better, racial issues has never entered their conscience and they only want a fair go in life. The film has important issues to deal with but does so in a clumsy manner. The dialogue is stilted along with the unconvincing performances. There are a few brilliance in direction but the image loses power once the mouths are opened.

I think this is a great movie. The negative reviews here are way too harsh. I also think they don't understand what the movie is trying to do. It is not trying to be a realistic film. It is a film about a boy who is trapped in a boring life, dreaming of a way to escape. I also really like the way the film keeps shifting tone. It starts like a bored teenager film, then shifts into black comedy, then gets a lot more serious as the story unfolds. I think the shifts in tone are very well handled and give the film an original feel. A highlight of the film is the way it captures the urban landscape of a part of Melbourne that is little seen. Great cinematography and some of the scenes are very skilfully directed. A couple of the minor actors' performances are a bit uneven but the two leads are terrific. Totally recommended if you are interested in something a bit different.

They say sometimes, life reeks of utter disappointment. Let me tell ya, I was pretty disappointed by this. It did reek for sure. Though convincingly played by it's leads, I expected much more than I was given, no thanks, partly to it's very poor script. Check out one line near the end, where a cafe owner shouts Adams breakfast. Though he's nearly really hungry, the owner tells him "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day". Der Fred. Whatever happened to Craig Adams? He was good. This isn't. Adams and mate (Elliot) are two Melbournians who'd have it tough. They want to escape their shitty existence. So when the offer to become mercenaries, on this big ship, arrive, well their ship has definitely come in. All they need is to come up with a large sum of cash, and going some pathetic ways about, it, Adams chickening out, when attempting to rob a snack bar, (Elliott) the tougher of the two, going off at him, not just this, but Adam's constant clinging onto hims. Luckily Karvan lends a hand as Adam's social worker. She's completely wasted in this turkey. When I think about it now, this one really let me down, big. The ending that has Adams swimming up the Yarra river is pointless, just like this movie. This one smells more than the Patawalonga.

So you pay to subscribe to cable television, and you can't expect too much. Perhaps the odd decent movie and some classic reruns of your favourite old series... but overall, generally speaking you don't expect too much.

I came across this movie late one night on cable, and began to watch. Interesting idea... two no hoping kids get an opportunity to go to Africa with some other no hoping political army to fight some war bla bla bla, let's see how we go (and if they get to go).

To cut a long story short...

Thirty minutes in, not much happening.

An hour in, are they going or what?

The organisers want five hundred from both of them... Let's go and mug people for the money! Why didn't I think of that earlier!

Finally, the day before departure. Oh, I don't want to go anymore. What? I've killed someone to get this money! Still, I'm not going anymore, I said God damn it!

Well my mate's not going, so I'll just jump in the Yarra and go for a swim.

Is this movie supposed to have some hidden, subtle message? Is it supposed to be deep and complex? What the hell does this movie mean, if anything? Poor old Claudia Karvan... at least she makes an attempt to envoe some kind of meaning (just).

So as I was saying, you don't expect too much from cable television movie channels, but you'd expect more than this!