Hal Thompson credited as playing...
John Parker
- Arabella Rittenhouse: May I present Mr. Parker.
- Mrs. Whitehead: Oh, of the, eh, Massachusetts Parkers?
- John Parker: Why, no.
- Mrs. Whitehead: Oh, then the, eh, Southern Parkers?
- Arabella Rittenhouse: Oh, no, the Central Parkers. You know, the, eh, benches and trees.
- Mrs. Whitehead: I see!
- [Mrs. Whitehead leaves]
- Arabella Rittenhouse: Meow! Oh, I don't like that woman!
- John Parker: Do you really love me?
- Arabella Rittenhouse: Why don't you marry me and find out.
- John Parker: Marry you? Heh! On what! Last year I sold two paintings. One at a hundred and one at fifty. Could we live on a hundred and fifty dollars a year?
- Arabella Rittenhouse: Well, we wouldn't need any money. I've got a charge account in every shop on Fifth Avenue.
- John Parker: Well, if I had any brains, I'd give up painting and get a regular job. You know, I had a cousin who made $50,000 on Wall Street last year.
- Arabella Rittenhouse: I don't want to marry your cousin. I'm a darn fool. I want to marry you.
- John Parker: Say, if we could find the fella who painted this picture, well, we'd have a pretty good clue.
- Capt. Spaulding: What'd you say?
- John Parker: I said, if we could find the fellow that painted this picture, we'd have a pretty good clue!
- Capt. Spaulding: You just said that. What a dull conversationalist you turned out to be.
- Capt. Spaulding: [Parker picks up a painting] I tell you, it didn't take that long to find him.
- John Parker: That's right, this is it!
- Capt. Spaulding: Yeah, that's it, but which one is it?
- John Parker: Captain, this is the one that was just taken from my room!
- Capt. Spaulding: Well, we've got that back, maybe I got my watch back.
- [checks his pocket]
- Capt. Spaulding: Now the fob is gone! Well, I... still got the pocket. Anything I retain now is velvet... except the coat, that's Prince Albert.
- Capt. Spaulding: [glances at the camera, breaking the fourth wall] Well, all the jokes can't be that good; you've got to expect that once in a while.
- John Parker: Say, if we can find the fellow that painted this picture, well, we'd have a pretty good clue.
- Capt. Spaulding: What did you say?
- John Parker: I said, if we could find the fellow that painted this picture, we'd have a pretty good clue!
- Capt. Spaulding: You just said that! What a dull conversationalist you turned out to be. Let me see that a minute, will you? Say, this is signed 'Beaugard'! There's the criminal: Beaugard!
- Arabella Rittenhouse: No, Beaugard is dead!
- Capt. Spaulding: Beaugard is dead? Then it's murder! Now we've got something!