William Bakewell credited as playing...
Albert
- Albert Kropp: [speaking of school] They never taught us really useful like how to light a cigarette in the wind, or make a fire out of wet wood, or bayonet a man in the belly instead of the ribs where it gets jammed.
- Albert Kropp: Ah, the French certainly deserve to be punished for starting this war.
- Detering: Everybody says it's somebody else.
- Tjaden: Well. how do they start a war?
- Albert Kropp: Well, one country offends another.
- Tjaden: How could one country offend another?
- Tjaden: You mean there's a mountain over in Germany gets mad at a field over in France?
- [Everyone laughs]
- Albert Kropp: Well, stupid, one people offends another.
- Tjaden: Oh, well, if that's it, I shouldn't be here at all. I don't feel offended.
- Katczinsky: It don't apply to tramps like you.
- Tjaden: Good. Then I could be goin' home right away.
- Paul Bäumer: Ah, you just try it.
- Katczinsky: Yeah. You wanna get shot?
- Tjaden: The kaiser and me...
- [the others laugh]
- Tjaden: Me and the kaiser felt just alike about this war. We didn't either of us want any war, so I'm going home. He's there already.
- Hair-peak soldier: Somebody must have wanted it. Maybe it was the English. No, I don't want to shoot any Englishman. I never saw one 'til I came up here. And I suppose most of them never saw a German 'til *they* came up here. No, I'm sure *they* weren't asked about it.
- Paul Bäumer: No.
- Detering: Well, it must be doing somebody some good.
- Detering: Not me and the kaiser.
- Hair-peak soldier: I think maybe the kaiser wanted a war.
- Tjaden: You leave us out of this!
- Katczinsky: I don't see that. The kaiser's *got* everything he needs.
- Hair-peak soldier: Well, he never had a war before. Every full-grown emperor needs one war to make him famous. Why, that's history.
- Paul Bäumer: Yeah, generals, too. They need war.
- Ginger - the Cook: [looking at soldiers lined up to eat] What do you want?
- Katczinsky: Beans, you homely-looking son of a frog's leg! What do you think I want?
- Ginger - the Cook: [the men shout that they're hungry] Shut up! I'll feed you when you're all here.
- Tjaden: We're all here now!
- Ginger - the Cook: Only half the company's here. Get the rest! Wake 'em up!
- Katczinsky: [the men laugh] I wish I could wake 'em up. There's 80 of us left. The rest is in dressin' stations or pushin' up daisies!
- Ginger - the Cook: [shocked] 80? And I cooked for 150!
- Westhus: All right, we'll have enough for once. Come on, dish out!
- Tjaden: You mean you've cooked beans for 150?
- [the cook nods]
- Tjaden: And you've got bread for 150 and sausage for 150 and tobacco for 150?
- Ginger - the Cook: Everything. It's all wrong. I should have been notified!
- Katczinsky: What a feast! Everyone gets two issues!
- [the waiting men shout]
- Katczinsky: [trying to keep order in the ranks] Get back in line! Get back in line!
- Ginger - the Cook: Oh, no, that woun't do. I can't give 80 men what's meant for 150.
- Katczinsky: [he starts to punch the cook but thinks better of it and tries to be persuasive] Listen, you drew rations for the Second Company, didn't yuh?
- Ginger - the Cook: Yes.
- Katczinsky: All right, we're the Second Company!
- [the men shout]
- Ginger - the Cook: I got my orders.
- Albert Kropp: [agreeing with Kat] That's right.
- Paul Bäumer: We're the Second Company and if only half of us get back, that's our good luck. Come on, dish it out!
- Ginger - the Cook: [the men shout] No!
- Katczinsky: [grabbing the cook by the throat] You're the yellowest baboon that ever drew a cook wagon, and you're scared, and it shows! All we want to hear out of you is one more little yip, and we'll cut yuh up and eat you raw! Why, you keep your kitchen so far back of the lines, we never get anything to eat until it's cold and we're asleep. Now, you low doen rat, get out, or we wreck the joint, so help me!
- [the men shout]
- Katczinsky: Come on, give us some food!
- Hair-peak soldier: And manufacturers. They get rich.
- [murmurs of agreement]
- Albert Kropp: I think it's more a kind of fever. Nobody wants it in particular, and then all at once, there it is. We didn't want it. The English didn't want it. And here we are fighting.