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James Cagney and Joan Blondell in Blonde Crazy (1931)

James Cagney: Bert Harris

Blonde Crazy

James Cagney credited as playing...

Bert Harris

Photos13

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Quotes37

  • Bert Harris: Oh, that dirty, double-crossin' rat! I'd like to get my hooks on him. I'd tear him to pieces!
  • Bert Harris: The age of chivalry is past; this is the age of chiselry.
  • Pawnbroker: [inspecting the stolen bracelet Bert has brought in] It's nice. Maybe it's too nice. What'll I do with it? That stuff is hard to sell.
  • Bert Harris: Who cares? Give to your wife for a Christmas present.
  • [grabbing the pawnbroker by the ear]
  • Bert Harris: Listen three-balls, I want five thousand dollars and I want it in a hurry. It's worth twenty thousand. And don't give me any backtalk.
  • Ann Roberts: [final lines] No matter what happens. No matter what it is. I'll be waiting.
  • Bert Harris: If I had the wings of an angel hoooney, over these prison walls I would fly!
  • Bert Harris: Now, you play ball with me... and your worrying days will be over.
  • Ann Roberts: Yeah? How about the nights?
  • Bert Harris: [smirks] Well, I'll see what I can do about those too, honey!
  • Ann Roberts: Thanks.
  • Bert Harris: Bert.
  • Ann Roberts: Bert?
  • Bert Harris: Call me Albert, for short.
  • Ann Roberts: Goodbye, Bertie.
  • Bert Harris: [on the phone] Hello, Peggy? How 'bout given little Bertie a big break? Come up in 610.
  • Peggy: You mean you want me to come right up?
  • Bert Harris: Sure, I'm waitin' for ya, hoooney. Everything all set. Can you come up right away?
  • Peggy: Sure can! I'll fly up, big boooy!
  • Bert Harris: Oh, come on, honey, don't put on the chill that way.
  • Bert Harris: I didn't mean to get you sore. I like you, Ann, really. You know, you're the first girl to sock me for going for her.
  • Ann Roberts: Yeah?
  • Bert Harris: You know, honey, I'd like to have you sock me like that everyday.
  • Ann Roberts: Oh, would you?
  • Bert Harris: Sure, hun. I'd love it.
  • [Ann slaps Bert, again, across the face]
  • Peggy: After all I told you, you went and fell for this shrimp slime. You dirty little tramp!
  • [Peggy slaps Ann. Ann slaps her back and she falls to the ground. Bert laughs hysterically]
  • Bert Harris: It hurts
  • [laughing hysterically]
  • Bert Harris: It hurts me more than it does you, hoooney.
  • [Peggy slaps Bert]
  • Ann Roberts: You sound like Santi Claus in wolf's clothing.
  • Bert Harris: Honey, I'm Santa Claus, Robin Hood and the Goose that laid the Golden Egg - all in one.
  • Bert Harris: Seriously, Ann, there's a lot of loose money lying around if you only know where to look for it. Now, the world owes me a living and I'm going to collect it, see? I'm not built for work. That's for horsin', for slack-offs like that four-eyed goon clerk. Now, you've got beauty and a swell figure. We're a perfect combination! With my ideas and your looks, we could churn the world.
  • Ann Roberts: I'm awfully tired. I think I'll turn in.
  • Bert Harris: That's not a bad idea. You can sleep in the lower and I'll take the upper. You don't mind do you? You see, I was in such a hurry when I bought the tickets, I just got one compartment.
  • Ann Roberts: I sort of figured you'd be in hurry when you bought the tickets, Bert. So, I bought a berth in the next car. You don't mind do you? I'm sure you'll sleep better that way. Oh, I mustn't go without letting you know how much I care for you, Bert, dear.
  • [lightly slaps Bert's face and leaves]
  • Bert Harris: Listen, Ann. The girl that got the job is a friend of one of the bellhops. So everything's all fixed now, see?
  • Ann Roberts: What do you mean, fixed?
  • Bert Harris: Well, you see, she didn't want the job very bad anyhow. They're going to get married in a couple of weeks. She just wanted money for a baby carriage.
  • Ann Roberts: Oh, it's you.
  • Bert Harris: Body and soul.
  • [Ann enters the room and Bert turns out the lights]
  • Bert Harris: I never did like bright lights. Look, honey, I got some hooch and sandwiches and stuff for us. Nice and quiet here. Not a chance of anybody finding us. I knew you'd come.
  • [Ann slaps Bert and leaves the room]
  • Bert Harris: That's a fine way to treat a fella that gets you your job!
  • Bert Harris: Everybody's got larceny in his heart. Everybody's looking for something for nothing. Honest men are scarcer than feathers on a frog.
  • Bert Harris: You know, that's the best part of being in the big dough, you can canvas the field and can have all the dames you can use.
  • Ann Roberts: Is that you're ambition?
  • Bert Harris: Oh, no, not exactly. But, you can't blame me for looking around, honey. You won't give me a tumble.
  • Ann Roberts: I could go for you. Sometimes I think I even want to. You're nice. You're not a collar ad, but, you're not bad looking either. But, just when I get set to fall, you spoil everything.
  • Bert Harris: What do you mean?
  • Ann Roberts: Just this: love doesn't mean anything in your life. You think you can turn it on and off by pushing a button - like you do a light. You worship nothing but dough. No, you're not my type, Bert. You got started on the wrong foot and little Nell is not going to be just another in your life.
  • Bert Harris: Well, I say you're wrong. And maybe someday you'll find it out. I may not know much about making love; but, there's one thing I do know - and that is I wanted you from the first day I saw you. But, if I can't have you, I'll have somebody else. Oh, come on, we're getting too serious. Let's dance.
  • Dapper Dan Barker: Just to pass the time away, I'm working up a new deal. Its a little out of my usual line; but, a buck is a buck.
  • Bert Harris: It keeps the wolf away.
  • Dapper Dan Barker: Exactly.
  • Dapper Dan Barker: You ever been mugged? Arrested?
  • Bert Harris: No, never took a fall.

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