Zeppo Marx credited as playing...
Bob Roland
- Rufus T. Firefly: Take a letter.
- Bob Roland: Who to?
- Rufus T. Firefly: To my dentist.
- [Roland writes out the following]
- Rufus T. Firefly: Uh... Dear dentist, enclosed find check for $500, yours very truly. Send that off immediately.
- Bob Roland: I'll, um, I'll have to enclose a check first.
- Rufus T. Firefly: You do and I'll fire you.
- Rufus T. Firefly: Where's my Stradivarius?
- Officer: Here, sir.
- Rufus T. Firefly: I'll show 'em they can't fiddle around with old Firefly!
- [he pulls a tommygun out of his violin case and opens fire]
- Rufus T. Firefly: Look at 'em run! Now they know they've been in a war!
- Bob Roland: Your Excellency!
- Rufus T. Firefly: Hahahahahaha, they're fleeing like rats!
- Bob Roland: But sir, I've got to tell you...
- Rufus T. Firefly: Remind me to give myself the Firefly Medal for this!
- [he fires again]
- Bob Roland: Your Excellency, you're shooting your own men!
- [Firefly fires again]
- Rufus T. Firefly: What?
- Bob Roland: You're shooting your own men!
- Rufus T. Firefly: Here's $5, keep it under your hat.
- [holds out his hat to take the $5 back]
- Rufus T. Firefly: Never mind, I'll keep it under my hat.
- Bob Roland: Message from the front, sir.
- Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, I'm sick of messages from the front. Don't we ever get a message from the side? - What is it?
- Bob Roland: General Smith reports a gas attack. He wants to know what to do.
- Rufus T. Firefly: Tell him to take a teaspoonful of bicarbonate baking soda and a half a glass of water.
- Bob Roland: We've got to get rid of that man at once. Now I've got a plan. You say something to make him mad, and he'll strike you... and we'll force him to leave the country.
- Rufus T. Firefly: That's a swell plan... why couldn't you arrange for me to strike him?
- Bob Roland: Ambassador Trentino is a very sensitive man. Perhaps if you insult him. He's very easy to insult. Why, I said something to Vera Marcal in his presence once, and he slapped my face.
- Rufus T. Firefly: Why didn't Vera slap your face?
- Bob Roland: She did.
- Rufus T. Firefly: What'd you say to her?
- [Roland whispers it in his ear. Firefly slaps his face]
- Rufus T. Firefly: You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Where'd you hear that story?
- Bob Roland: Why, you told it to me.
- Rufus T. Firefly: Oh yes, I remember. I should have slapped Mrs. Teasdale's face when she told it to me.
- Bob Roland: This letter's the work of Trentino. The man is trying to undermine you. Now what are you going to do about it?
- Rufus T. Firefly: I've got a good mind to ring his doorbell and run.
- Rufus T. Firefly: Lieutenant, why weren't the original indictment papers placed in my portfolio?
- Bob Roland: Why, uh, I didn't think those papers were important at this time, your excellency.
- Rufus T. Firefly: You didn't think they were important? Do you realize I had my dessert wrapped in those papers?
- Rufus T. Firefly: [trying to decide if Chicolini, Firefly, Pinky, or Bob Roland will make a suicidal run into no-mans-land to get help] One of us has got to go get word to General Cooper and his men. One of us has got to go and risk his life for his country!
- Bob Roland: Let's draw straws.
- Chicolini: No! I gots an idea. We have a runspot to see who we choose to go. Okay, here we go. Rrrrrrringspot! One-sa, two-sa, zig-zag-zav, poptie, gimmega, tin-lie, tav, harem, scarem, moychan, tarem, tare, tore...
- [realizes that he's about to land on himself]
- Chicolini: I did it wrong. Wait, wait, wait... I start here! Rrrrrrringspot! One-sa, two-sa, zig-zag-zav, poptie, gimmega, tin-lie, tav, harem, scarem, moychan, tarem, tare, tore...
- [realizes he's about to land on himself again]
- Chicolini: That's a-no good too! Oh, I got it! Rrrringspot, BUCK!
- [points to Pinky]
- Chicolini: Good luck!