The Captain Hates the Sea

A sort of B version of Grand Hotel but on a cruise ship, The Captain Hates the Sea is fascinating for a couple of terrific performances among the wreckage of this film that seems badly directed because of the confusing plot.

A disparate group of people take a cruise and get involved in the petty squabbles of the crew as well as each other's messy lives. There's something about bonds and bad reputations and undercover cops but none of it makes much sense.

However, John Gilbert, in his final film, is magnificent as the drunk. His voice has never been better and how ironic that this great star, whose career was supposedly ruined by his lousy speaking voice, turns in yet another terrific performance in a talkie. For anyone who has seen Gilbert in this film or Downstairs, Queen Christina, or The Phantom of Paris, you know that Gilbert had no voice problems.

Here is suave and cool and funny in a William Powell sort of way, and he's just mesmerizing to watch. Also very good are Alison Skipworth as the bossy hostess, Helen Vinson as the bonds thief, Walter Connolly as the captain, Walter Catlett as the bartender, Donald Meek as the bearded passenger, Wynne Gibson as the woman with the past, Leon Errol as the ship's mate, Akim Tamriroff as the troubled man, and the Three Stooges as the ship's musicians.

Victor McLaglen and Fred Keating are also after the bonds while John Wray is defending his wife's honor. Claude Gillingwater and Emily Fitzroy are also along for the ride. Quite the cast.

Not a great film but certainly worth a look for the cast and for the superb John Gilbert.

As another poster has stated, John Gilbert had taken to heavy drink after his dismissal from MGM for having a less-than-adequate speaking voice, at least according to Louis B. Mayer. Director Milestone convinced irascible Columbia Studio chief Harry Cohn to hire Gilbert for this movie, promising Cohn that he would keep Gilbert sober by shooting at sea, away from bars and nightclubs. Problem was, many of the other actors in this film also had tremendous thirsts- Victor McLaglen and Leon Errol, to name a couple- and they found ways to hide their bottles even while filming on water. It wasn't long before the drinking began holding up the shooting, prompting a telegram from the studio: "What's holding up production? The costs are staggering." To which Milestone replied: "So is the cast."

Captain Hates the Sea, The (1934)

** (out of 4)

Disappointing comedy has pretty much been forgotten by everyone except for die-hard film buffs who will probably remember the film not for its quality but due to it running over budget thanks in large part to a cast full of drunks who spent more time drinking than actually acting. The GRAND HOTEL type story takes place on a ship where we get several small stories including a P.I. (Victor McLaglen) tracking some stolen bonds, a writer (John Gilbert) suffering from alcoholism and of course a Captain (Walter Connally) who is constantly making the life of his steward (Leon Errol) a mess. For a comedy this thing really lacks any laughs and perhaps the funniest quote took place off the film. If legend is true, Columbia president Harry Cohn telegraphed director Milestone saying, 'Return to studio. The cost is staggering.' The director would reply, "So is the cast!" Who knows if that's the truth or not but it's certainly funnier than anything else in this film, which is a shame because we're given a very talented cast and most turn in fine performances but in the end there's just not much anyone could do with this screenplay. Considering the troubled production, who knows if there was more to this story that hit the cutting room floor but we're left with a pretty big mess. It seems that the film struggles to connect all the stories but that doesn't matter too much because none of them are overly interesting. I'd say the most interesting one deals with Gilbert but at the same time you have to question why he was given this part. Well, considering John Barrymore was a major alcoholic and ended up spoofing it in his later films I guess you can see why director Milestone would want Gilbert for this role. He certainly looks in pretty rough shape and appears to have aged fifteen-years from what he looked like in a few of his earlier talkies but at the same time he's certainly giving it his all and actually manages to turn in a memorable performance, which would be his last. McLaglen will put a smile on your face in a few of the scenes as will Errol who is constantly getting into trouble. Alison Skipworth, Donald Meeks, Wayne Gibson, Fred Keating and Helen Vinson are some of the supporting performers and they too deliver fine work. The Three Stooges appear as band members but the studio gives them very little to do. In the end, this is a real disappointment considering the talent involved but I'm sure film buffs will get some mild entertainment out of seeing all these familiar faces in one place.

Walter Connolly applies his curmudgeon-with-a-heart screen persona to the character of a ship's captain whose hatred of the sea stems in part from the bad behavior of most of the passengers he encounters. After establishing this fact, we witness the trajectory of a huge number of characters during the course of a voyage from New York Harbor to an unnamed Latin American destination and back again. The cast list alone tells you almost all you would need to know: Besides Connolly there is Leon Errol, John Gilbert and Walter Catlett as a trio of mutually enabling tipplers, bossy harridan Alison Skipworth and sourpuss Charles Gillingwater, Wynne Gibson and Helen Vinson as two very different kinds of requisite pretty young things, Victor McLaglen as a private detective, a very mannered Arthur Treacher as an English major, and the little- known darkly handsome Fred Keating as a rather wimpy crook who resembles various other, better known performers like George Raft or even Russ Columbo, but then you find out he is actually Fred Keating. Added to the mix are Donald Meek as a solitary traveler whose long beard becomes the peculiar obsession of the captain, Akim Tamiroff as a Latin-American revolutionary and even the Three Stooges, playing it straight for a change, as the musicians of ship's dance band! (One of the numbers they play is identical to a number from "Horses' Collars," one of their Columbia short subjects released the following year.)

Sprinkled throughout are some marvelous bits of dialogue, including a series of witty remarks made by Gilbert who keeps rationalizing why he needs to take another drink. For example (and I paraphrase), "This is no time to be drinking…and no time to stop either." Some of the camera setups are also imaginative. When Gilbert, standing at a bar, is punched to the floor by John Wray, we next see him at ground level through a small door under the bar. When characters stop to chat in a ship's corridor, we hear the echo of their voices as we would if we overheard their conversation in that kind of space. When a woman jumps overboard we see her fall from multiple points of view, including vertically through the frame to the shock of people one deck below her leap.

The main thread of the plot, as in Grand Hotel, has to do with people needing money and what they will do to get it, including breaking the law. Subsidiary plots touch on various human foibles and all are touched with humor at one point or another.

If I didn't know better I would bet that Frank Capra or his oft-used screenwriter Robert Riskin had a hand in this effort because the casual yet detailed approach reminds me of their work.

"The Captain Hates The Sea" is an entertaining but dated offering from Columbia, with touches, as has been noted, of "Grand Hotel" and "The Love Boat". The feel is of a somewhat confined stage play despite taking place at sea, and the overall impression is of a competent but minor picture that is overrated by virtue of the fact that it is the last movie John Gilbert made. He was good but not memorable, but at least proved that he had a good enough voice for talking pictures.

Today's moviegoers would be somewhat put off by the cast of actors, who are familiar to us of a certain age but would be strangers to them. They may not have heard of John Gilbert, or Victor McLaglen, Helen Vinson, Leon Errol or the marvelous Alison Skipworth, for that matter. Add in the customs, styles and social disparities between now and then, and you have a filmed museum piece of interest to us older, savvy moviegoers only.

I thought it was good enough for a rating of 6, and I will leave it at that.