Chester Morris credited as playing...
Office Boy
- William T. 'Shoots' Magiz: Your job is to take care of Mary.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Oh, no! I get paid to take care of you and nobody else.
- William T. 'Shoots' Magiz: Don't argue with me. There's a hundred dollar bonus in it for you!
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Oh, that's different. Come on, ladies. Come with Papa.
- Mary Magiz: You, pig! Look at my stockings. My best French imported stockings! You ruined them. Just look at them!
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Sure!
- Mary Magiz: Don't stand there gapping at me!
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: I'm not gappin', I'm gawkin'.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: You're a pretty good lookin' girl, as girls go. And you're a pretty smart girl, as girls go.
- Mary Magiz: Are you trying to tell me Mr. Magiz is not a wealthy man?
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Not as wealthy as you think. I take care of his accounts.
- Mary Magiz: I'm not marrying Mr. Magiz for his money. Did you ever hear of love?
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Yeah. You'll find it in the dictionary under "L".
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: I'm just Office Boy, see. Everything the name implies. I'm just his body guard to keep the other mobs from shootin' him up. I haven't got any part of Shoots racket.
- Mary Magiz: What are you here for?
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Five hundred bucks a month. Only I don't save all that, see. Now, last month I only saved 465. This, eh, suit sent me back 35 bucks.
- Mary Magiz: You were gipped.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Well, two pair of pants, of course.
- Mary Magiz: You were still gipped!
- Mary Magiz: [sarcastically] Go on, tell me the story of your life. I'm dying to hear it.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Yeah? Well, when I was six years old, my father bought me a lollipop, you see. One of those big, all-day, suckers. A little gal I was crazy about ran away with it. And I learned about women - from her.
- Mary Magiz: Well, your lollipops will be safe with me.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Let me give you a little tip. When you get a flock of jewels from Shoots - blow.
- Mary Magiz: If there's any blowing around here, you're going to do it.
- Mary Magiz: [walks in on Office Boy in his underwear, pressing his pants] Well!
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Next time, knock. Sometimes I take a bath, too.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: [sarcastically] Boy, what a performance. It had everything! Heart, tears, - and bologna.
- Mary Magiz: Office Boy, I don't think we'll need you any more.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Okay. Well, so long. Be careful while you're over there, now, Shoots.
- Mary Magiz: Don't worry. I'm taking him.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Yes. Yes, I know.
- William T. 'Shoots' Magiz: Isn't that nice. Lambikins is takin' me.
- William T. 'Shoots' Magiz: She's class! I want you to beat it up there and kinda stick around, keep her company for awhile.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Say, what am I? A lady's maid?
- Car Salesman: Your car just arrived. Don't you love it?
- Mary Magiz: Oh! It's beautiful!
- Car Salesman: Isn't it! And how do you like it Mr. Magiz?
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Well, if the wife likes it, it's okay with me.
- Mary Magiz: He is *not* Mr. Magiz.
- Car Salesman: Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: I'm not.
- Mary Magiz: Look here, you stick to your job. If you want to be a spy, I'll buy you a Confederate uniform.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: I wonder how I'd look in a Confederate uniform?
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Let's sit down here and talk this over. I want a drink to wet my whistle. Oh, waiter.
- Waiter: Yes sir.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: What'll you have?
- Mary Magiz: I'm not drinking. I'm just talking it over.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: A pitcher of beer please and nothing for the lady.
- Waiter: Yes sir.
- Mary Magiz: A champagne cocktail, please!
- Waiter: Yes, ma'am.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: You're for you, 100%. And I don't blame you, duchess. I'll tell you a little secret, I'm for me.
- Mary Magiz: We've got a lot in common.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Well, I don't know about me; but, you sure are common.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Try to remember that Shoots is in a better world.
- Mary Magiz: Oh, he was such a lovely man. So gentle. He was like a big dog around the house.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Yes. Yes. I know just how you feel. I had a Pekingese once that was run over.
- Mirabelle: Does he really know anything about horses?
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Oh, he sure does! He's lost a fortune on 'em.
- Mary Magiz: You think I'm just a digger.
- Jimmie 'Office Boy' Burnham: Yeah, just a digger out of luck and there's nothing sadder.