Spencer Charters credited as playing...
First Guard
- Head Guard: Hello, Professor.
- Head Guard: Why, Mr. McLeevey. What are you doing here? Can't you see I'm busy?
- Guard: Sure, but you've got to come home with us. It's important.
- Professor Twiddily: Oh? Is there anything wrong?
- Head Guard: Don't you remember? You operated on your old friend Julius Caesar a couple of days ago.
- Professor Twiddily: Did I now? Funny I forgot. How'd it turn out?
- Head Guard: Not so good. That's why we have to hurry back. You see, he got tired of his Roman nose, so you grafted on a new one. But you put it on upside down and on rainy nights like this, the poor fellow can't go out for fear of drowning.
- Professor Twiddily: My, my. We'll return at once. Poor Caesar must be miserable.
- [the crazed plastic surgeon shows drawings of various facial features to his bound and gagged captives]
- Professor Twiddily: I ask your indulgence in looking at this chart. You will notice the various noses, eyes and chins. You all have an ideal, a face you envy. You can have your choice of alterations. You understand my operations run in series. You may look as you do now, but I will slowly change you to fit my model.
- Professor Twiddily: [to Gloria] Young lady, you will have the honor of being the first upon my table. I shall require very little from any of you - just enough to begin my work.
- Professor Twiddily: [points at Gloria, Terry and Herman in succession] A feature from you, a bone from him, and a cartilage from that one.