Frank McHugh credited as playing...
Ed Olson
- Gladys: [Click and Ed have just ordered some sophisticated clothing from a couple of haberdashers] You two are certainly milking our "golden calf." Evening clothes, riding habits, "Olde" English monograms on your shirts... a little while ago you were lucky to have soup stains.
- Click Wiley: [nonchalantly] You heard my secretary: even the best is not good enough for us.
- Gladys: By the way, the "golden calf" has been awfully quiet for the last 10 minutes.
- [jumps up to go check on Loretta, aka Dawn Glory]
- Click Wiley: You know, Eddie, I'm anxious to see those riding habits.
- Ed Olson: I'm anxious to see the horse.
- Gladys: Hey! She's gone!
- Ed Olson: [Click and Ed jump up in a panic] Maybe we better cancel those Olde English monograms!
- Slattery: Mr. Wiley, I've always considered you a very fascinating man.
- Click Wiley: Thanks.
- Slattery: So fascinating, in fact, that I've been spending the last few days studying your life's work. Digging into the past. Tracing your career, as it were.
- Click Wiley: Why... I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.
- Slattery: Then permit me to refresh your memory. In 1932, traveling under the name of Frank Benson, you inserted an ad in the Personal Column of a Waukesha paper for the heirs of a millionaire - who existed only in your imagination. According to you, he died in New York without leaving a will. You offered to investigate all claims for the slight fee of 10 dollars each - *just* to cover expenses. You got quite a collection of 10-spots out of it - - to investigate the will of a man who never existed.
- Ed Olson: [butting in before Wiley can respond] They deserved it. Every one of those apple-knockers who sent in ten dollars must've been lying. Trying to get something for nothing.
- Gladys: Why don't you get married yourself?
- Click Wiley: Well, I tell you Gladys, I never met a dame yet who could get by with me.
- Gladys: [hands Click a magazine] Why don't you give Garbo a break. I hear she's lonely.
- Click Wiley: Well, I don't know. I like her mouth; but, I don't care much about her chin and hair.
- Ed Olson: Poor Garbo. This'll finish her!
- Click Wiley: Now, I like this one's hair much better.
- Ed Olson: Sure. Jean Harlow.
- Click Wiley: And this one's ankles just about suit me.
- Ed Olson: Marlene Dietrich.
- Gladys: You don't want much. Garbo's mouth. Harlow's hair. Dietrich's ankles. What else?
- Ed Olson: Poor kid. I hate to see her slavin' all day in that office. She hardly earns enough for us to borrow from.
- Loretta Dalrymple, aka Miss Dawn Glory: What would you be doin' if Gladys was here instead of me?
- Ed Olson: Well, I'd a - well, I'd sort of - put my arm around her.
- Loretta Dalrymple, aka Miss Dawn Glory: Then what would you do?
- Ed Olson: Then, I'd a - I'd kinda - kiss her on the neck. Right there. She likes to have me kiss her on the neck right there.
- Loretta Dalrymple, aka Miss Dawn Glory: Gosh, all that beautiful music going to waste. I wonder - couldn't we pretend that we weren't each other? That is, if I was Gladys as far as you're concerned...
- Ed Olson: And I was Bingo as far as you were concerned.
- Loretta Dalrymple, aka Miss Dawn Glory: Yeah! Then, what would we do?
- Ed Olson: Well, then I'd a - we'd a - well -
- [long kiss]
- Loretta Dalrymple, aka Miss Dawn Glory: You're sure no Bingo.
- [Ed starts the car engine]
- Loretta Dalrymple, aka Miss Dawn Glory: Why, Ed, where are we going?
- Ed Olson: Wherever there's a chaperone.