George 'Gabby' Hayes credited as playing...
Dr. Parker
- Dr. Parker: I proclaim with pride, gentlemen, that we possess the most potent of panaceas for a plague-ridden people, and the most musical minstrels that ever mangled a melody.
- Shorty: If you didn't have the latter, you wouldn't sell much of the former!
- Dr. Parker: I resent that, sir! It's unbecoming a gentleman, a scholar and a good bassoon player.
- Dr. Parker: You mean you're the son of the local cattle baron and we'd have played this town without telling me?
- Gene Autry: Why should I?
- Dr. Parker: What a fine partner you're turning out to be. Think of the ballyhoo: "Son of cattle king returns to share his triumphs with friends of his childhood." Why, we'll sell another twenty gallons at least.
- Dr. Parker: Well, if this is the way squatters live, I should think that they'd have been glad to get run off. I know I never could stand squatting.
- Smiley: I never knew it was possible.
- Dr. Parker: You never knew what was possible?
- Smiley: To stand squatting.
- [Gene is treating Harry's gunshot wounds]
- Gene Autry: Is that dope you sell really good for anything, Doc?
- Dr. Parker: What? Doctor Parker's painless panacea is compounded from the healing roots and herbs brewed from the formula of a Kickapoo Indian chief whose daughter...
- Gene Autry: I've heard that forty times a day for six months, but is it really good for anything?
- Dr. Parker: Well, it won't hurt him any, but maybe we'd better get the iodine.
- Dr. Parker: Ladies and gentlemen, your reception does not go unrewarded. Doctor Parker's perfection performers invite you to a feast of fun and frolic free, gratis and for nothing. This way, please.
- Dr. Parker: My friends, Doctor Parker's Painless Panacea is not a cure-all. It will not help bunions, corns and fallen arches. It will not prevent the pants from bagging at the knees. Ah no, my friends, but it will bring to each and every ailing man or woman within the sound of my voice a vigorous, virile health that it brought to this fine specimen who I first knew as an anemic, pale, wasted figure without enough blood to color a freckle.