Fred MacMurray credited as playing...
Joe King Mantell
- King Mantell: Your Highness, there's something wrong with your tub.
- Princess Olga: Vat?
- King Mantell: Yes, you see, the water runs in and it runs out, but the trouble is it runs out faster than it runs in. I discovered it this morning when I was trying to take a bath. It can only draw about that much water
- [his fingers show an inch]
- King Mantell: and you can't take a bath with that much water
- [shows an inch again]
- Princess Olga: Vell, if you're a ploomb-er, why don't you fix it?
- King Mantell: Well, I'm not a ploomb-er, uh, I mean, a plumber, but I think I could fix it. Have you got a screwdriver?
- Lady Gertrude Allwyn: A screwdriver? Her Highness is not in the habit of going around with a screwdriver on her person.
- Princess Olga: [to Mantell] Please go avay.
- King Mantell: Well, I was only trying to help, but may I suggest that when you want to take a bath, you should take a shower.
- [walks away]
- King Mantell: Of course, there's always the ocean.
- [Exits]
- Princess Olga: [dropping her phony Swedish accent] I'd like to smack that guy right in the kisser.
- Princess Olga: Oh, my poof!
- [fishing out her sopping wet powder puff]
- King Mantell: Your what?
- Princess Olga: My powder poof! It is vet!
- [squeezing it out onto his shoes]
- Benton: Well boss, do I toss him to the sharks?
- King Mantell: What's the matter? Don't you like sharks?
- Cragg: Where did you spend the evening, Mr. Mantell?
- King Mantell: Right here.
- Lorel: Did you entertain a visitor?
- King Mantell: No, nobody was here.
- Lorel: You were alone?
- King Mantell: Well, practically. I was with Benton.
- Benton: Yeah, we were *both* alone.
- King Mantell: You ought to know my technique by now. First, flowers. Second, sweet music. Third, a little wine.
- Benton: Then I have to find out if there's a husband in town.
- King Mantell: I'll take care of Darcy.
- Benton: What are you gonna do? Slap the mug on the wrists and ask him for the next dance?
- King Mantell: If you really want to do something for me, fix it so I can get next to the Princess without catching pneumonia.
- Benton: Leave it to me. I can handle those dames.
- Benton: King. I just saw Darcy go into the royal suite.
- King Mantell: Yeah? Are you sure it was Darcy?
- Benton: Sure. Rats like that don't come in pairs.
- King Mantell: If you're ever in any kind of trouble, you can count on me.
- Princess Olga: Oh, why do you think I should be in any trouble?
- King Mantell: Oh, I dunno. This is a strange ship, and there are some very odd people aboard.
- Princess Olga: Ja, and the oddest of them all is you.
- Princess Olga: Well, if you really know who the murderer is, why don't you tell them now?
- King Mantell: I would if I knew. The point is I don't.
- Princess Olga: Then why did you say you did?
- King Mantell: Because to catch a rat you have to have cheese.
- Princess Olga: I don't get it.
- King Mantell: I'm the cheese. When the rat comes to nibble, bang goes the trap.
- Princess Olga: With the cheese in it.
- King Mantell: Not if it's a smart piece of cheese.
- Princess Olga: Scram.
- King Mantell: What did you say?
- Princess Olga: Oh... Scrom. In Sweeden, it means the interview is ended.