Thomas Mitchell: Diz Moore

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

Diz Moore

Diz Moore: [dictating into phone] In protest, the whole Senate body rose and walked out.
Clarissa Saunders: No! No, not that straight stuff. Now listen, kick it up, get on his side, fight for him! Understand?
Diz Moore: You love this monkey - don't you?
Clarissa Saunders: What do you think? Now listen, go to work. Do as I tell you.
Diz Moore: [into phone] Throw out that last, take this. This is the most titanic battle of modern times. A David without even a slingshot rises to do battle against the mighty Goliath, the Taylor machine, allegedly crooked inside and out. Yeah, and for my money, you can cut out the "allegedly."

Clarissa Saunders: Diz, what do you think? Daniel Boone's lost.
Diz Moore: No?
Clarissa Saunders: Lost in the wilds of Washington.
Diz Moore: Well, if your boy friend's gonna blaze trails, I'm going over to the Press Club.
Clarissa Saunders: Aw, stick around. He might want us all to put on short pants and go out hiking. You wouldn't want to miss the exercise.
Diz Moore: Every time I think of exercise, I have to lie right down until the feeling leaves me. Say, wouldn't it be funny if he was lost?
Clarissa Saunders: The Boy Ranger? Oh, he'll show up. He must have a compass with him.

Clarissa Saunders: Sicking that horrible dame on him - when he's goofy about her.
Diz Moore: What dame?
Clarissa Saunders: Paine!

Clarissa Saunders: When Foley died, why didn't I clear out? How many times have you heard me say "I'm fed up with politics and I"... No, I let him talk me into staying. Secretary to a leader of little squirts! Why? Because I need the job and a new suit of clothes!
Diz Moore: Would you settle for a husband?
Clarissa Saunders: Mmm, I sure would!
[suddenly realizes he's referring to himself]
Clarissa Saunders: Huh?
Diz Moore: You know my old standing offer. Diz Moore, poet of Washington correspondents.
Clarissa Saunders: [smiling] Oh, that again.
Diz Moore: I'd cherish you - and I'd stay sober.
Clarissa Saunders: Oh, Diz, you're a wonderful egg. I don't know, maybe if I saw you once with your hair combed or something...
[Diz sheepishly finger combs his hair]
Clarissa Saunders: [laughs] No, I don't even think that would do it.

Diz Moore: What did you get me outta bed for?
Clarissa Saunders: Shhh. Sit tight. The show's about to commence.
Diz Moore: Do mind telling me what's about to go on around here?
Clarissa Saunders: Certainly. Now, there's the principal actor in our little play: Don Quixote Smith - man with bill. Over here, one of the supporting characters.
Diz Moore: Who?
Clarissa Saunders: That gorilla in man's clothing: McGann.
Diz Moore: Oh, you mean, puss in boots.
Clarissa Saunders: Yeah, mostly puss. Aw, another prominent character in our play, the silver knight, soul of honor on a tightrope.
Diz Moore: You wouldn't be a little bit goofy, would you?
Clarissa Saunders: Diz, Don Quixote with bill will get to his feet in a minute and speak two important words: Willet Creek. When that happens, the sliver knight will fall off his tightrope and puss will jump outta his boots.

Diz Moore: Better be nice to that gal. The latest poll makes her old man the party choice for the White House. She may be the next First Lady of the land.
Clarissa Saunders: Imagine reading, "My Day by Susan Paine in the neck." He isn't gonna be hurt enough as it is, she has to twist a knife in him too... jackass. "I'll turn my glamour on him," she says.
Diz Moore: Oh, forget it. What's it to you?
Clarissa Saunders: Nothing, I'm just...
Diz Moore: Okay, okay. Then, stop worrying. I told you the dopes are going to inherit the earth anyway.
Clarissa Saunders: I wonder, Diz, if this Don Quixote hasn't got the jump on all of us. I wonder if it isn't a curse to go through life wised up like you and me.
Diz Moore: Now, look here kid. If you're going to wonder, let's go down and do it over a hunk of steak, huh? Come on, snap out of it. Drink up! Here's to bigger and better dopes.
Clarissa Saunders: And to Don Quixote.

[Diz and Saunders are commiserating their sorrows over drinks]
Clarissa Saunders: Do you know how I felt, Diz?
Diz Moore: No. How'd you feel? Quick.
Clarissa Saunders: I felt just like a mother sending the kid off to school for the first time. Watching her little fella toddling off in his best bib and tucker. Hoping he can stand up to the other kids.

Clarissa Saunders: What's the matter Diz?
Diz Moore: You're kidding. This is murder. You gotta call him off. He's getting nowhere.
Clarissa Saunders: What are you talking about?
Diz Moore: Not one word of what he's saying is being printed in that state.
Clarissa Saunders: Oh, no Diz.
Diz Moore: Taylor has practically every paper in the state lined up and he's feeding them doctored up junk.
Clarissa Saunders: One man muzzling a whole state?
Diz Moore: And how!

Clarissa Saunders: I'm still asking myself, what is he? Animal, vegetable or mineral?
Diz Moore: Maybe he's an oyster.

Jefferson Smith: Why don't you tell people the truth for a change?
Sweeney Farrell - Newsman: How do you want it, Senator? Dished out or in a bottle?
Jefferson Smith: If you thought as much about being honest as you do about being smart...
Diz Moore: Honest? Why we're the only ones who can afford to be honest in what we tell the voters. We don't have to be reelected, like politicians!