Alan Hale credited as playing...
Tex Bell
- Tex Bell: [after teasingly being disparaged by Jeb Stuart] What has being flat-footed got to do with ridin' a horse?
- Windy Brody: Callin' me a rumpot's what hurt me. I ain't had a drink since noon!
- James Ewell Brown 'Jeb' Stuart: Say, who could I talk to in this kind of a town without arousing suspicion?
- Tex Bell: [thinks for a moment] The town barber.
- Windy Brody: That's right! Anytime a barber can't talk to a stranger, he's liable to go crazy!
- Tex Bell: [basting a steer carcass on a spit] What did you have to go and lie for, tell the major we was the best barbecuers along the Santa Fe Trail?
- Windy Brody: [turning the spit] I just mentioned it sort of casual. How'd I know he was gonna take us up on it?
- Tex Bell: Wait'll he starts eatin' this. Huh, he won't take us up- he'll take us up and out.
- Windy Brody: You think it's gonna be hard-chewin', Tex?
- Tex Bell: Well, I dunno. I *still* got a hunch... we should have skinned it first.
- Windy Brody: We took the horns off of it, didn't we?
- Tex Bell: Oh, now don't start lying to me, you double crossing buzzard. I know you didn't buy that there lookin' glass to see your own ugly mug.
- Windy Brody: I suppose you're figurin' on wearin' that female cinchin' belt. Wait till Lilly sees what you brung her. She'll brain ya! If it ain't physical impossible.
- Kit Carson Holliday: Where in thunder have you been?
- Windy Brody: Well, you see, we had to buy these knick-knacks. Well, we sort of got a gal in Santa Fe, Lilly, uh...
- Tex Bell: Hofstadter and what do you mean we? I'm engaged to her.
- Windy Brody: Well, who ain't?
- Windy Brody: I run into some of them abolitionists once; but, who's this feller John Brown they talk so much about?
- Tex Bell: Oh, as far as I know, he's just a dirty old windbag. In fact, he's just your type!
- Tex Bell: I'm sure glad we're leavin' civilization. It's getting too dangerous for a peace-lovin' man.
- Windy Brody: That's the most doggone fun I've had since we got hemmed up with them Injuns.
- Tex Bell: Yeah, well, the next time we shoot at a common enemy, you let me do the shootin'.
- Tex Bell: What does bein' flat-footed got to do with ridin' a horse?
- Windy Brody: Callin' me a rumpot is what hurt me. I ain't had a drink since noon.
- Tex Bell: You still got that creepy feelin' about this place?
- Windy Brody: I don't know whether it's that or these here chiggers. But somethin's creepin' over me.
- Tex Bell: They sure give you a good lookin' over in this here man's town.
- Windy Brody: Yeah, I feel just like I was takin' a bath in a bath tub without no sides on it.
- Tex Bell: The only kind of a tub you ever was in.