Bob Hope credited as playing...
Steve Bennett
- Gwen Saunders: You hardly know us and yet you've taken a great delight in hurting everybody's feelings. Well, why don't you make a good job of it. Go on! Go on! Don't leave me out! I'm here. What would you like to do to me?
- Steve Bennett: I would like to kiss you 'til your ears fly off.
- Steve Bennett: [checking the clock] In six more hours it'll be Christmas.
- Samuel: Christmas? Is Mr. Roosevelt movin' them holidays around again?
- Samuel: [Examining picture] Who these fellas with the big spoons or somethin'?
- Steve Bennett: [Looks over at picture] Spoo... those are oars. That's my rowing team. Intercollegiate champs... '29, '30, and '32.
- Samuel: But what happened to '31?
- Steve Bennett: The judges found out where we hid the outboard motor. Snoops.
- Gwen Saunders: [waving 10 thousand dollar bills] I'm so upset, I don't know what I'm doing. I've had these for 4 days. Pudgy doesn't know I've got them. Here you keep them.
- [hands cash to Steve]
- Gwen Saunders: I've had them in two bags, in my safe deposit box, under my pillow, and in my stocking.
- [points at her leg]
- Steve Bennett: [staring at leg] Aren't you afraid of prowlers?
- Samuel: I'm unprepared for a weekend like this. All I brought was my suntan oil.
- Steve Bennett: Suntan oil, you're gilding the lily. What do you want with suntan oil?
- Samuel: I freckle.
- Samuel: Hey, boss, I got a great big...
- Steve Bennett: Oh, why don't you fall overboard?
- Samuel: What a short Christmas.
- Linda Graham: But, Mr. Bennett, you're wearing my negligée.
- Steve Bennett: Much worse if I weren't Shhh! Stand by.
- Steve Bennett: [kisses phone] Telephone's a wonderful thing.
- Samuel: It ain't that wonderful.
- Steve Bennett: Oh, let me dream.
- Steve Bennett: Well, distance is only a question of relativity as Einstein said. Now you take the caterpillar. From here to where Miss Saunders it would be about 20 miles to a caterpillar. Of course with you, it's different. You're no caterpillar or you wouldn't be wearing a double-breasted suit and that's nice.
- Mr. Bishop: Young man, I think you're a lunatic.
- Steve Bennett: I love it. I put salt on almost everything. In fact, I even put - I put salt on salt. I hate pepper.
- Linda Graham: What are you doing to my darling?
- Gwen Saunders: Darling?
- Linda Graham: Huh?
- Linda Graham: What were you doing to my husband?
- Steve Bennett: I'm not your husband! I'm not anybody's husband.
- Gwen Saunders: Oh, what's a husband but a name. It issn't bell or book or candlelight, that makes a marriage, It's what's in two hearts that really matters.
- Steve Bennett: Leave my heart out of this. It never met yours. I mean, it won't!
- Van: How did you get in her room? We had your clothes!
- Steve Bennett: I was wearing Mrs. Ralston's dressing gown, the pink one, with feathers!.
- Steve Bennett: [entering plush brokerage firm] This is the office for me. The Taj Mahal with inkwells.
- Samuel: Taj Ma-who?
- Van: Do you think you're good-looking?
- Steve Bennett: Yes, in a manly sorta way...
- Van: You lose the bet!
- Steve Bennett: No, I don't lose. That's not a lie. That's an opinion. If I said YOU were good-looking - That'd be a lie.
- Steve Bennett: Yes sir, Sam, I'm really falling into something. No more worries, no responsibilities, no ulcers. People beg for that Ralston stock. All I'll have to do is come in the morning, put my feet up on the desk, rock back and go to sleep. Every once in a while, the door opens, a customer tiptoes in, takes a stock off the desk, leaves a check and tiptoes out.
- Samuel: Yep, but whose gonna get up and open the door for 'em?
- Steve Bennett: I don't know, but they're not going to make a drudge out of me.
- Steve Bennett: [talking to his client on the phone] Yes, sir. I'll call you the minute I've got something good.
- Gwen Saunders: [knocks and walks in to office] Hello!
- Steve Bennett: I've got something. Goodbye.
- [hangs up phone]