Bob Hope: Steve Bennett

Nothing But the Truth

Steve Bennett

Gwen Saunders: You hardly know us and yet you've taken a great delight in hurting everybody's feelings. Well, why don't you make a good job of it. Go on! Go on! Don't leave me out! I'm here. What would you like to do to me?
Steve Bennett: I would like to kiss you 'til your ears fly off.

Samuel: [Examining picture] Who these fellas with the big spoons or somethin'?
Steve Bennett: [Looks over at picture] Spoo... those are oars. That's my rowing team. Intercollegiate champs... '29, '30, and '32.
Samuel: But what happened to '31?
Steve Bennett: The judges found out where we hid the outboard motor. Snoops.

Gwen Saunders: [waving 10 thousand dollar bills] I'm so upset, I don't know what I'm doing. I've had these for 4 days. Pudgy doesn't know I've got them. Here you keep them.
[hands cash to Steve]
Gwen Saunders: I've had them in two bags, in my safe deposit box, under my pillow, and in my stocking.
[points at her leg]
Steve Bennett: [staring at leg] Aren't you afraid of prowlers?

Samuel: I'm unprepared for a weekend like this. All I brought was my suntan oil.
Steve Bennett: Suntan oil, you're gilding the lily. What do you want with suntan oil?
Samuel: I freckle.

Steve Bennett: [entering plush brokerage firm] This is the office for me. The Taj Mahal with inkwells.
Samuel: Taj Ma-who?

Van: Do you think you're good-looking?
Steve Bennett: Yes, in a manly sorta way...
Van: You lose the bet!
Steve Bennett: No, I don't lose. That's not a lie. That's an opinion. If I said YOU were good-looking - That'd be a lie.

Steve Bennett: Yes sir, Sam, I'm really falling into something. No more worries, no responsibilities, no ulcers. People beg for that Ralston stock. All I'll have to do is come in the morning, put my feet up on the desk, rock back and go to sleep. Every once in a while, the door opens, a customer tiptoes in, takes a stock off the desk, leaves a check and tiptoes out.
Samuel: Yep, but whose gonna get up and open the door for 'em?
Steve Bennett: I don't know, but they're not going to make a drudge out of me.

Steve Bennett: Still, this must be my office... it's too small for a telephone booth.

Steve Bennett: [talking to his client on the phone] Yes, sir. I'll call you the minute I've got something good.
Gwen Saunders: [knocks and walks in to office] Hello!
Steve Bennett: I've got something. Goodbye.
[hangs up phone]

Gwen Saunders: There isn't anyone in the world I could ask except Van and he wouldn't do it.
Steve Bennett: Oh, he wouldn't, eh? Well that's just like him. Who is he?

Gwen Saunders: [concerned about her 10 thousand dollar bills] You mustn't mix it with your money.
Steve Bennett: [Shakes the coins in his pocket] No, I won't mix it with my money.

Steve Bennett: [watching Van do push-ups] I must remember to eat more raw meat.

Van: Why if a man set out to tell the truth for a whole day, before nightfall someone'd kill him.
Dick Donnelly: Sure. Why all the diplomats of Europe would have to quit if that were the case.
Steve Bennett: [puzzled] Is that bad?