Joel McCrea credited as playing...
Joe Carter
- Benjamin Dingle: What's your name?
- Joe Carter: Carter.
- Benjamin Dingle: Bill Carter?
- Joe Carter: Joe Carter.
- Benjamin Dingle: I used to know a fellow named Bill Carter.
- Joe Carter: Wasn't me.
- Benjamin Dingle: Don't you suppose I know that?
- Joe Carter: What'd you ask for, then?
- Benjamin Dingle: I guess I know what Bill Carter looked like.
- Joe Carter: Not like me.
- Benjamin Dingle: Oh, then, you know Bill Carter.
- Joe Carter: No, I don't, but he sounds like a great guy.
- Benjamin Dingle: Say, what brought you here, Mr. Carter?
- Joe Carter: Railroad.
- Benjamin Dingle: No, I mean, what's your job?
- Joe Carter: I'm a mechanic. I work in a baby carriage factory.
- Benjamin Dingle: Where?
- Joe Carter: California.
- Benjamin Dingle: San Francisco?
- Joe Carter: Burbank.
- Benjamin Dingle: Baby carriage factory, eh?
- Joe Carter: Yep. Tokyo Baby Carriage Corporation - plain and fancy baby carriages for carrying babies to Tokyo.
- Benjamin Dingle: Oh. Maybe you think this is none of my business.
- Joe Carter: Maybe I do.
- Benjamin Dingle: Probably your name isn't even Bill Carter.
- Joe Carter: Probably not. It's probably Joe Carter.
- Joe Carter: What do you do?
- Benjamin Dingle: I'm a well-to-do, retired millionaire. How 'bout you?
- Joe Carter: Same.
- Connie Milligan: You - look messy. Don't you ever brush your hair?
- Joe Carter: I suppose Mr. Pendergast combs his hair every hour, on the hour.
- Connie Milligan: Mr. Pendergast has no hair!
- [Carter and Dingle are reading a "Dick Tracy" comic strip]
- Connie Milligan: Is that the best you can do with your time?
- Joe Carter: Mmm. Got to keep up with what's going on.
- Benjamin Dingle: I missed two Sundays with "Superman" once, and I've never felt right since.
- Connie Milligan: Seems to me you might read something more beneficial.
- Joe Carter: Like what?
- Connie Milligan: Like the editorials, for instance, or the columns. All well-informed people read the columnists.
- Benjamin Dingle: Such as Mr. Pendergast, I suppose.
- Connie Milligan: You're right, I suppose. Mr. Pendergast always reads the columnists.
- Joe Carter: Are they funny?
- Benjamin Dingle: Sometimes, but no pictures.
- Diner Counterman: Here's your fifty-cent blue plate.
- Connie Milligan: [Looking at the food, starts crying]
- Joe Carter: What kind of fish is this?
- Diner Counterman: Catfish.
- Connie Milligan: [Crying]
- Diner Counterman: Here's your nice boiled rice.
- Joe Carter: What's the matter, honey?
- Connie Milligan: [Crying] I never thought when they threw rice at me it would be boiled.
- Joe Carter: Look, we better hurry up and eat our lunch and get out of here. Let's go.
- Diner Counterman: Is there something wrong, mister?
- Joe Carter: No, everything's just dandy.
- Diner Counterman: Well then why is the young lady crying?
- Joe Carter: Because she's so happy.
- Diner Counterman: [Smiles] Oh, for goodness sake. Newlyweds.
- Joe Carter: What's wrong with newlyweds?
- Joe Carter: Another thing, don't take in any more roomers.
- Connie Milligan: Why?
- Joe Carter: Why? You can pick up a lot of riffraff that way, that's why.
- Connie Milligan: Well, I was only tryin' to be patriotic.
- Connie Milligan: Who taught you to Rhumba? Some girl, I bet. Is she nice?
- Joe Carter: Not half so nice as you.
- Joe Carter: I hope I haven't upset your routine here?
- Connie Milligan: Just - stick to the schedule, that's all I ask.
- Benjamin Dingle: Rather nice having a high type, clean cut, nice young fellow at table. Better than nobody.
- Connie Milligan: I'm used to nobody.
- Benjamin Dingle: You ought to have some high times here, Joe. Young fellas don't come a dime a dozen in Washington. Eight girls to every fellow.
- Joe Carter: Yeah, well, I haven't got time for that. I'm only gonna be in Washington, only a week.
- Connie Milligan: Where are you going to, where you came from?
- Joe Carter: Where they send me.
- Connie Milligan: Who's they?
- Joe Carter: The government.
- Connie Milligan: He just happens to be the assistant regional coordinator of OPL, that's all.
- Joe Carter: Is that good or bad?
- Connie Milligan: Eighty-six hundred dollars a year.
- Benjamin Dingle: That's good.
- Morton Rodakiewicz: [Watching Joe looking out the window through binoculars] Hey, what are you lookin' at?
- Joe Carter: The Capitol Dome.
- Morton Rodakiewicz: You better not be lookin' outta those spy glasses.
- Joe Carter: Scram.
- Morton Rodakiewicz: You can get in awful serious trouble doin' that.
- Joe Carter: Knock off, will ya.
- Morton Rodakiewicz: Everybodies given their spy glasses to the Navy. I read it in a paper. Why don't you give your spy glasses to the Navy too?
- Joe Carter: Because - I'm a Jap!
- Miss Chasen: Hello Betty.
- Miss Allen: Oh, hello. Miss Milligan. - Mr. Carter - Miss Harper. Miss Chasen. Miss Bilby. Miss Ewing. Miss. Dalton.
- Miss Bilby: This is Miss Finch. Miss Dalton. Miss Geeskin. And Miss Harper. - Mr. Carter.
- Joe Carter: How do you do?
- Miss Chasen: Miss Allen. Miss Geeskin. Miss Finch. - Mr. Carter.
- Connie Milligan: I'm Miss Milligan.